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----- interview by Angela Mackintosh
WOW: Welcome, Anne! I’m thrilled to chat with you about your first-place win – congratulations! All of our judges loved “The Knife Thrower.” The braided narrative of your personal story juxtaposed with Barbara Braun and Sylvester’s knife throwing act is brilliant, and such a powerful metaphor. How did you come up with the idea of marrying the two?
Anne: Thanks Angela. It was such a delight to win. This essay started off as a poem which I wrote about five years ago. The poem was about Barbara Braun and Sylvester, and there’s no mention of my experience in the poem but I do remember when I was writing it thinking of my own experience when I was married.
I go through phases in my writing, writing in different genres depending on what’s going on for me. So, I go from writing prose to poetry to plays. I’m currently in the personal essay writing phase!
Writing poetry enabled me to explore painful experiences in an oblique way. Now that I have distance from some of those painful experiences, I am ready to explore them more overtly and the personal essay gives me that scope and space. I hope that makes sense.
So I decided to take the poem apart, really thinking about why I had written each sentence and what I was trying to say and then I just wrote about my experience and weaved the two pieces together. To be honest, I wasn't sure that it worked, but obviously it did. That period of my life (ending of my marriage) has been showing up a lot in the last few months, so the synchronicity of the win is not lost on me.
WOW: It definitely worked! I'm so glad you're focusing on personal essays. I read your last interview with WOW, and I was impressed by your dedication and persistence to finish your essay that took seven years to write! How long did it take you to write “The Knife Thrower,” and how did it change over time?
Anne: This essay took even longer to write – 14 years! As I’ve mentioned it started as a poem five years ago, but at that time, I wasn’t ready to write in more detail about my experiences towards the end of my marriage and the aftermath of leaving my ex-husband.
I guess this essay and all my writing have developed and grown in tandem with my personal growth and development and that’s the beauty of writing and of life.
WOW: 14 years shows amazing persistence! Your essay examines the important (and not often talked about) topic of emotional abuse. I learned a lot from your piece, including that coercive control is a criminal offense in Ireland, and that unlike domestic violence, the line isn’t as easily drawn, as you explored in this passage:
“I stepped closer and goaded him to hit me. But his hand stopped mid-flight. We both knew that if his fist connected with my eye, I would leave, now that I would be wearing a visible sign of his abuse.”
I appreciate you bringing awareness to the issue, and I’m so glad you had the strength to leave. What do you ultimately hope readers will take away from this piece?
Anne: It has taken me many years for me to realise that I had experienced abuse. At the time I partly blamed myself and thought that to name what I was experiencing as abuse was a gross exaggeration. It wasn’t and I know that now.
My biggest hope is that if there is any reader out there who is experiencing what I experienced, they will realise it’s not ok, and to seek support. Coercive control can be very subtle and sometimes talking to an objective person like say a therapist can help you see the situation you are in for what it really is.
WOW: Since we last chatted, your novel He Used to Be Me has been published! I see it’s been highlighted in newspapers and magazines and has great reviews. How has the book promotion been going, and have you learned anything you can share with our writers?
Anne: Thanks, yes, it’s going well, and I’ve been delighted with the reviews. The most important thing I’ve learned is to keep in your mind why you write, especially after publishing and not to compare your novel with others.
I didn’t write ‘He used to be me’ for fame, or to win awards or for it to be a bestseller. I wrote it because I had to write it, for writing's sake, for the story’s sake. The most important thing for me now is how it’s affected those who’ve read it.
When someone messages or phones me to tell me how much they loved the novel and how it spoke to them - that for me is the most important thing about the book now.
Publishing a book especially for debut authors can be stressful and it’s important to manage your expectations around your book. It’s a competitive market and not every book is going to be a bestseller but that doesn’t mean your book is not as good as any of the bestsellers.
My book is a short novel, but it’s one you would read more than once. Several people have told me they have read it twice, one person has read it four times! Isn’t that awesome? Another person said that it was a quick read, but she needed to sit for an hour afterwards just to process it.
Writing ‘He used to be me’ was an act of love for me, love for all the marginalised people in the world, who’s stories never get told.
WOW: Oh I just love books you can return to and read again and discover something new. I'm going to read He Used to Be Me. Speaking of reading, in your last interview, you mentioned being a fan of Melissa Febos. I am, too! I’ve read all of her books, and my favorite is a toss-up between Girlhood or Abandon Me. My favorite standalone essay is “Intrusions” (in Girlhood) for the way she seamlessly weaves in pop culture, voyeurism, and privacy with her personal story of getting stalked. It’s such a powerful essay. What is your favorite Febos essay and why?
Anne: Crikey, that’s a difficult question to answer. I loved Abandon Me, such a powerful book. I’m a voracious reader and the menopause has wreaked havoc with my memory so if a book stays in my head for more than a few weeks then I know it’s a great book and Abandon Me has stayed with me for more than a few months. It’s hard to pick a favourite essay but I love her essay Thesmophoria, where she writes about her relationship with her mother. The one sentence that really stood out for me in this essay was: “The closer the mother and the daughter are, the more violent the daughter’s effort to disentangle herself can be.”
WOW: That's a great essay and a powerful sentence. I've been reading a lot lately, trying to get back into a regular writing routine. I always find it tough to write during the summer when it’s hot and there are lots of events. What are your favorite tips for maintaining writing motivation and momentum?
Anne: I actually find it easier to write in the summer! Probably because that’s when I take my annual leave from work and time off work gives me more headspace for my creative writing. And here in Ireland it tends to rain a lot in the summer!
Having said that, we all struggle from time to time to maintain our writing motivation and momentum. My favourite tips would be to surround yourself with like-minded creatives. Joining a writing group, taking part in writing workshops or having a mentor can also help and allowing yourself to write whatever wants to come out without judging it. Just let it flow.
WOW: Great advice, Anne! Is there anything else you'd like to share? (What you're working on, any recent successes, etc.)
Anne: I would like to thank WOW for publishing my essays. As you know this essay is not the first one of mine to place in the top ten! One thing I’ve learned in my writing life is that not every editor or judge will like or ‘get’ my writing, and the fact that all of you lovely people at WOW get what I’m trying to do with my writing – well that means the world to me.
Oh, and some breaking news: a Polish publisher has bought the rights to publish my novel in Poland so I’m really chuffed about having my writing translated and published in another language.
WOW: That's exciting news about the Polish publisher! Thank you for your kind words about WOW and our contests. Wishing you continued writing success, Anne!
Writers, you can check out WOW's creative writing contests here:
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