Friday Speak Out!: Writer, Seamstress, Wife, Spy

Friday, May 23, 2014
by Rae Lori

As a new wife, I had to adjust to a lot of things, especially in my writing life. I was used to writing 24/7 around the clock, making deadlines left and right while scheduling new things for my to-do list one thing after another.

Once I got married, things changed. I was super happy to find the love of my life and to become a doting wife. Still, it was a challenge to balance writing (which not only includes the act of writing but also running a business as a self-publisher plus marketer) and making a nice home, happy for my new husband. And this was a guy with a healthy appetite for nice home cooked meals and quality hobby time! I also wanted to balance out my own personal new hobby of crocheting plus spend more time with my family. Writing was always at the top of my list because it was my career. With this new life, I had to find a way to adjust a nice balance for everything.

1) Make a list

A to-do list always helps to prioritize things, well, to do. I have a few lists going myself: writing, book release schedule and household. If you like a hands-on approach, a mini notepad is your best friend. For digital list lovers, there are some great task wrangling software that will offer reminders via email or an online database. My favorites are Remember the Milk ( and Toodledo ( which you can access via mobile phone apps.

2) Play to your time strengths

I'm a night owl which works out perfectly with my family's schedule. My husband usually works during the day and has recently moved to night shift. Splitting my day where I'm up early while he either sleeps after a shift or is at work during day shift lets me get covertly some work in for the day and then have time to make dinner or enjoy breakfast with him when he is at home. Superspy!

3) Don't push it. Let yourself have some fun

I used to beat myself up a lot when I missed work. I loved the time I spent as a newly wed woman and I wanted to make both that and the joy of my work combine together in perfect harmony. Stress counter-acts my creativity but the more I relaxed, the more I was able to put pen to page once again. My advice to others is like that old adage about writing, allow yourself to just let the chips fall where they may. On weekends, I allow myself to step away from writing and enjoy time with my new husband, whether it's gaming, hobby time or enjoying a movie. Not only do I enjoy his company, I also give my brain a much needed break from worrying about deadlines, marketing and other writing related things. Then come Monday, I'm geared up and ready to take on the week's work all over again!

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Rae Lori is a multi-published writer who was first bitten by the professional writing bug at ten years of age. Over a twenty year plus writing career, she has garnered publishing credits in various zines, journals and publishing companies. She is a sci-fi enthusiast, blogger/author promoter/reviewer at her blog A Writer's Dream and an award winning author in multiple genres. She currently makes her living bringing her imagination to life in fiction writing and as a freelance graphic/cover designer at her company RavenFire Media. Learn more about Rae and her works on the web at

Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!



Sioux Roslawski said...

Rae--You served up some wonderful tips today. Yes, we do have to give ourselves permission to take a break, and if we beat ourselves up over missed deadlines or opportunities we didn't even go after, it becomes a vicious cycle.

Good luck with your writing...

Margo Dill said...

Giving yourself a break is a great idea and I need to do it more often. Thank you for reminding me.

Rae Lori said...

Definitely! I still forget myself sometimes but when things get overwhelming, I'm sure reminded I need it! :-)

Thanks so much for reading, Sioux and Margo. Hope you guys have an awesome weekend and best to you and your writing as well. :-)

Audrey said...

Thanks for the good advice Rae Lori...even this "old" wife could learn to follow these guidelines!

Rae Lori said...

Happy to help, Audrey! Thanks for stopping by and hope the apps and ideas work out for you! :-)

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