Shorten Your To Do List - the Right Way!

I can't even bring myself to show you the rest of this list...it's ridiculous! 

As part of self-care and trying to take better care of my heart (still no answers for those following my journey), I'm examining areas of my life where I can step back or slow down. I'm still making lists, but I'm learning how to shorten them. 

A fellow busy mum dropped me a text this week saying:

"EVERY DAY IT SEEMS I DROWN IN TO DO LISTS. 

I'M BETTING YOU FEEL THAT ALSO?"

I hadn't actually thought of it that way. I stepped back and gave it some thought (while sipping water, since I have cut my coffee intake back considerably...grumble grumble). Historically I felt like my lists had been the key to my success. The key to my ability to hold down 5 jobs while raising 6 kids (an aging mother as well), and running a farm. As good as it felt to cross things off those lists every day, was I also feeling like I was drowning? The more thought I gave it, the more I realized the carry over from those lists was indeed making me feel something other than joy and accomplishment. Drowning was a good word because I was starting the following day with an even longer list including what hadn't been finished the day before. Could my lists be causing me negative feelings? Yikes! 

I'm here to tell you I'm still my worst enemy even though I try to practice positive self talk. 

Here's a plan I came up with to shorten my ToDoList(s) and once you read the bullet points, I'll explain why this is the right way (because I've also done this the wrong way in the past and hopefully you'll learn from my mistakes):

 

**  Remove anything that doesn't matter to you or anyone else 

**  Before carrying over anything from an unfinished list, ask yourself "is this something that really NEEDS to be done?" 

**  Delegate whenever possible 

The delegate thing could probably be number one - and I'm not just talking about spouses or children helping you. If you have cookies to bake for a bake sale, it might be mutually beneficial to ask a friend to do your baking. It might be something they enjoy and it's an opportunity for them to help you and make a bit of extra money, and you get to take something off your list! As far as carry over, I previously felt like I needed to carry everything over, but if I'm not having company over - I can actually cross that *dust the fan item right off the list and do it right before Thanksgiving...there's not a single person who is going to notice (I guarantee this)! 

Here's the one I wanted to address and I left it first on the list for a reason - Remove anything that doesn't matter to you or anyone else. A few years ago, I removed anything that didn't matter to me and I thought I was so dang smart. Guess what? That was a dumb move...a selfish move at the very least... some of the items I left off my list were important to my husband even though I didn't think they mattered. I'll spare you the details, but check with those closest to you before crossing too much off your list. You may not care about something, but to someone else it may be a very big deal! 

And with that - hugs my dear friend and until next time! You know we love hearing from you - if you don't feel comfortable commenting on this post, feel free to drop us a note - we love that too! (crystal@wow-womenonwriting.com ) and as always, I'm no expert, so I'm going to ask that you provide me with some answers and ideas:

** What is something you have found helpful in shortening your to do list?

** Do you use a to do list? Why or why not?

** How do you help yourself feel good - what is your favorite form of self care?

Hugs,

~Crystal

Today's blogger is Crystal J. Casavant-Otto who is a hot mess of a momma and dairy farmer enjoying her little corner of the cornfield in frigid Wisconsin this fall! (and she's trying to remember tomorrow's time change so she isn't an hour early for church!)

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2 comments prioritze, reduce stress, self care, shorten your list, shorten your to do list, to do list

Why. You.

If you're loving 2020 and everything is going smoothly, this may not be the article for you. But....give it a read as sometime in your life you may just feel like you need a little pick me up and put me back together kind of chat with a friend and that's exactly what this is. For the rest of us who feel like we are stuck on a carnival ride and we just want to get off and eat some mini donuts but instead we are spinning in circles and feel like we are moments away from a little vomit scene...go grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let's talk. 

First of all. How are you really friend? Not "fine" or "doing okay" but seriously? Take a sip of whatever is in your cup (if it's 7am and it's vodka, no judgment - we are that good of friends!), take a deep breath, and spill it! Here's the tissues. Let it all out.

Now that that's out of the way, dry those tears and take another sip (or refill that cup). No matter what it is you're feeling, it's okay and you're okay - actually, you are awesome! You are navigating terrain no one has every seen before and you are doing it day after day. And now I want to know why? Really, why are you doing what you are doing?

Often times when faced with a difficult situation we break our lives down into small parts. I just need to make the coffee and pay the bills. I just need to get to work. I need groceries. Let's say you are a teacher; you're trying to navigate hand sanitizer, distance learners, masks, google meets, loom thingies, etc... but WHY? We all need to get back to our why and only YOU really know what that WHY is. In our example of teaching, it's likely you had a teacher who inspired you and you decided to be a teacher because you wanted to change lives, inspire children, and make a difference in the world. When we are struggling day to day we need to get back to our WHY. So let me ask you again - What's your WHY?

Why are you eating healthy? 

Why are you writing your memoir?

Why did you want to be a nurse, a farmer, a firefighter?

Doesn't it feel good to get back to the real reason you're making that coffee this morning? The real reason you are putting one foot in front of another. The reason you are driving to work.

Without our WHY, we are going through the motions and since we are human and not a machine with well oiled parts, we need more than just momentum to keep us on the right path. 

Let's circle back to the beginning of our chat. Now that we have discussed how you are really doing, and why you're doing what you are doing, let's talk more about YOU!

You've been working really hard to take care of everyone around you. I see you. I see you making small sacrifices, large sacrifices, and holding it all together. I know you cry in the shower and smile when anyone is around. I know you worry about what tomorrow brings. What are you going to do for YOU today? You can't keep taking care of everyone else if you aren't taking care of YOU. You know that and I know that, but there's only so many hours in the day, right? Everyone says "self care" but you're taking care of so many things already it seems like an unattainable goal. I'm not going to recommend getting a manicure or taking a bath or anything that is going to take time away from your day. 

I just want you to make one small change. When YOU look in the mirror today (this can be at home, at work, in the rear view mirror while bucking up to chase the kiddos somewhere, etc...) I want you to smile at that beautiful reflection and say: YOU are Amazing! Say it to yourself, say it out loud, say it once a day, then twice, and keep doing it. 

There's so much noise in our world right now. YOU need to hear your own voice loud and clear. I don't know when we are getting off this carnival ride and I don't even know if there will be mini donuts when we do, but I know you have a few minutes every day to remember WHY you are here and hear loud and clear how amazing YOU are! You matter. 

Now let's hug it out and finish our beverages and get ready to tackle whatever life throws at us!

I WANT to hear from YOU!

What's your WHY? How are you taking care of YOU?

Drop a note and let us know!

Hugs,
~Crystal

and now...a little more about me...

Shown from left to right:
Delphine riding Honey
Mr. Otto holding Eudora
Crystal riding Marv.
Thank you Forward Farm, LLC 

Crystal is the office manager, council secretary, financial secretary, and musician at her church, birth
mother, Auntie, babywearing mama, business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Press Corp teammate for the DairyGirl Network, Unicorn Mom Ambassador, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and their five youngest children, two dogs, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, horses Darlin' and  Miss Maggie May, and over 250 Holsteins.

And now she runs a virtual classroom for her children who are distance learners! 

You can find Crystal milking cows, riding horses, and the occasional unicorn (not at the same time), taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books here, and at her own blog - Crystal is dedicated to turning life's lemons into lemonade and she has never (not once) been accused of being normal!

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1 comment crystal casavant, crystal casavant otto, crystal otto, find your why, remember your why, self care

One Small Thing - Coping During the Covid-19 Pandemic

Wow! Isn't this an interesting time? I'd love to tell you that everything is pleasant at our residence and that I'm going to give you the key to making your Covid-19 time magical. I'd also love to tell you this will be ending by the weekend. I'd also like to give each of you a unicorn and a rainbow.

Now you know what I'd like to do - and you also know I can't. Here's what I would like to do instead:

I'd like to share a bit of my own reality and recommend you find one small thing each day. Just something small that will bring a bit of sunshine into the storm that is reality right now. No one knows the intricate details of your life but I have a feeling whether you are an essential worker, a work from home worker, a furloughed worker, a mom, a baker, or a candlestick maker you've been effected by the Covid-19 pandemic.

Here at our house, it's the usual spring business for the farm. Our agronomist just emailed the report about how our fields did for winter kill. We are struggling with buying seed, hauling manure, re-seeding fields, and of course the dropping milk prices. This really isn't unusual. The last 5 years of farming have been difficult and this year really isn't all that different. This is a good thing. What's unusual is having all our school age children here ALL DAY LONG - EACH AND EVERY DAY. And yes, we are blessed. Yes, we enjoy them. Yes, they are wonderful.

I thought working from home was glamorous. When I started working from home (I'm only at my office 2 mornings a week usually, so this is nothing new here) I realized it was a bit more challenging than I thought. I was juggling a few toddlers, slow internet, interruptions like laundry, dishes, or a visit from the neighbor. And this one time all the cows got out - but that's a story for another day.

Now there's 7 of us in this house all day long. The distractions are unending, the noise is deafening, and someone is constantly hungry. I'm teaching things I barely know a thing about - like the area of a triangle...can't say I've ever used this information from my own middle school years. Most days I feel like I'm drowning. I should be enjoying every moment surrounded by my family. I shouldn't complain because there are people who I love and who are very dear to me who haven't felt the touch of another person in 6 weeks. I try to keep it all in perspective.

Here's what I have found to be very helpful in finding my happy. I have yet to find balance, but choosing ONE SMALL THING each day has helped me take a deep breathe. It's not always the same thing each day and again I don't claim to know your life or what will or will not work for you. Here are a few things I've done that are small but help me find my happy:

Take a walk in the woods
Go for a run (outside or on the treadmill)
Try a new recipe
Facetime with a friend
Bake something for a friend
Reading a few chapters of a good book
Take a bubble bath
Lighting a candle 
Opening a window
Taking a nap
Writing in my journal
Planting some seeds
Rubbing my feet 
Calling a friend or relative
Checking in on someone I love and care about
Putting lotion on my hands

See? Some of these things are incredibly small. Others may take a bit more time/energy, but none of them are so huge I need to change my plans. I finished brushing my teeth this morning and noticed a small bottle of hand lotion. I rubbed a bit on my hands, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and as I massaged my palms and took in the lavender scent, I released some tension in my shoulders. The toddler saying "mommy mommy" outside the door felt like more of a blessing when I opened the door and stepped back into reality.

I've noticed people are doing a lot of purging and cleaning. That's impressive, but if you don't have much time, it's ok if you don't do the big things. Reality is, some people are not going to make it out of this pandemic alive. My goal is help carry our family through this with our health and our sanity. I only look at grades once a week, my hair is graying around my face, and I'm struggle to eat healthy. I just keep telling myself it's all going to be okay and when I feel like things are too loud, too disorganized, too much...I find my one small thing for the day. Finding that one small thing has helped me find my happy.

What do you do when you feel your happy slipping away? What is one small thing you've done or want to do to help yourself feel better during this difficult time? What does your reality look like? I'd love to hear from you!

Hugs (virtual for now),
~Crystal

Crystal is the office manager, council secretary, financial secretary, and musician at her church, birth mother, Auntie, babywearing mama, business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Press Corp teammate for the DairyGirl Network, Unicorn Mom Ambassador, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and their five youngest children, two dogs, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, horses Darlin' and Joker, and over 250 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal milking cows, riding horses, and riding unicorns (not at the same time), taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books here, and at her own blog - Crystal is dedicated to turning life's lemons into lemonade and she has never (not once) been accused of being normal!

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2 comments Coping, covid, mom advice, once small thing, pandemic, quarantine, self care

What I Learned from a Diaper

When we get busy with the day to day activities of life, we can lose sight of what was initially our goal and focus. Sometimes it takes an outsider or a life change to help us get back on track. At our house, it took a diaper (or the lack there of).

Our last baby (the last of 6) recently decided she wanted to be "big like sissy" and she stopped wearing diapers. We have been 5 weeks in big girl undies with very few accidents. Initially I thought I wasn't ready for this milestone. We have had at least one (sometimes two or three) in diapers for the last 6 years. Not just any diapers either - cloth diapers! We had a routine and every other day I would wake up early to ensure all the regular laundry was out of the washer so I could start the process of washing diapers. My goal was to have the diapers out of the washer and into the dryer by bedtime so I could start a load of "regular" laundry. We had a system. The system worked. Had you asked me, I would have said I didn't mind the washing, drying, stuffing, organizing, of the diapers. It didn't seem time consuming; it was just something we worked into our routine.

A few days after potty training began, I washed every last diaper and put them into a storage bin. I am still unsure what I'm storing them for, because no one in this household is interested in wearing them anymore. I cried as I put them away. Endings have never been easy for me and I still can't explain fully if those were tears of joy or tears of sorrow. The following morning, I didn't have to get up quite so early. There were moments the washing machine wasn't running. It felt odd. I ran upstairs and started coming up with things to wash. I had always felt a bit ashamed about not washing bedding as often as I should, so I stripped my eldest sons bed, and moved right down the line. By the end of the first week, everyone had fresh and clean bedding and every blankie, afghan, and throw blanket had been laundered.

The job I once thought took no time at all had somehow freed up an incredible amount of time in my life. My FitBit average sleep number jumped from 3 hours of sleep to 5. This one small change was making a world of difference. I needed less coffee to get through the day because I was getting more sleep. Less coffee means less creamer - so I added a hole to my belt. The house was cleaner, I started washing bedding every 4 days instead of every 2 weeks, and I even had time left over for writing. My goal nearly 7 years ago was to have my novel published by the end of the year. Here we are, and I am finally back at writing on a regular basis.

I got lost in the mundane tasks of being a mom. Those tasks were enjoyable, but pulled me away from writing and dimmed my fire. With a little attention, those embers are sparking new life and it feels so good. I feel free and focused. Thank you to my littlest love for deciding it was time to get back on track. I am eternally grateful! And to you dear readers - there will be a novel forthcoming! Thanks for being here with us through it all!

Hugs,
~Crystal
About today's author:

Crystal is a secretary, council secretary, financial secretary, and musician at her church, birth mother, Auntie, babywearing cloth diapering mama (aka crunchy mama), business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Publicist with Dream of Things Publishing, Press Corp teammate for the DairyGirl Network, Unicorn Mom Ambassador, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and their five youngest children (Carmen 13, Andre 11, Breccan 5, Delphine 4, and baby Eudora who will be 2 in a few months), two dogs, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 230 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal riding unicorns and horses, taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other stuff here, and at her personal blog - Crystal is dedicated to turning life's lemons into lemonade!

Now it's your turn:

**What is something you are doing that you could eliminate from your routine to make additional time for writing? exercise? meditating? etc...

**If you've eliminated something from your life to help you find joy - how did you recognize the hurdle? Did someone point it out to you? Have you ever done this for someone else?

**How do you take care of you? Your writing life? Your physical health?

**What is your goal for the remainder of this year?

Lease a comment on this post;

let's learn from one another and grow together!

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1 comment eliminating the mundane, finding time, finding time to write, focus, self care, time management, writing goals

Friday Speak Out!: Critique Sitting and Self-Care

by Savannah Hendricks

A trending topic via hashtags (octothorp) on social media is #selfcare and #selflove. I’ve even used those tags, but fell flat in my own outcome.

In many households, even in the changing times, women often have the responsibility of caring for the children, cooking, cleaning, and maintaining a career.

How do women juggle all this and find time to write, let alone time for self-care? They stand-up for their time! And you can too!

But wait! What if you are a single parent or don’t have extra funds for a babysitter? Ladies, I have a plan for you!

If you have a local critique group, suggest a babysitting critique swap.

Swap the kids and the manuscript writing time or critique time between two people. Or, have a rotating critique-sitter each month where you take all the kids and rotate critique-sitters each time.

Have a play-date at a park with a seating area for the group to mingle and talk critique while the kids play nearby.

Maybe your critique group is online and you are not able to critique-sit-swap. Take your kids to the playground or play area in town where they can make friends or meet up with friends and family while you write. Even if you are experiencing writer’s block, being out in nature can help you brainstorm. If you live somewhere that’s hot in the summer (like I do in Phoenix), try a local McDonald’s/Chick-Fil-A/Carl’s Junior and or (even better choice) search for restaurants with play areas on Yelp. Many communities have kid events for free that will even allow you to leave your kids for a few hours and supervise them.

Now back to self-care. This is vital for all writers, especially woman writers who wear so many different hats in life. You know when the kids finally go to bed, or finally get along with each other and you have some time to write, but all you want to do is relax for FIVE MINUTES!!!

DO IT!

Don’t feel guilt about taking time away from writing to make yourself whole and rested. Yes, I know you must write. I know you need to write. Yet, how well do you write when you are thinking about how tired you are? Have you ever had that extra glass of wine while writing, and then read what you wrote in the morning….same thing happens when you are overtired and try to write.

So, find a critique-sitting group, make one or present it to your current group. Find community places that work best for your kids and your writing. And for goodness sakes, take a time for you so your story can be its very best.

* * *

Savannah Hendricks is the author of Nonnie and I (Xist Pub., 2014) available in English, Spanish & bilingual editions. She holds a Master’s in Criminal Justice, & a degree in Early Childhood Education. You can learn more, including a list of publications, by visiting her blog at http://theseashellsoflife.wordpress.com/

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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
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6 comments critique group, finding time to write, Friday Speak Out, Savannah Hendricks, self care, self care for writers

You My Beautiful Friend are Enough

There is a beauty that comes with self acceptance, but do you know what is more beautiful? Not caring what other people think. It's amazing! There are still those moments when I second guess myself, feel I'm not enough etc... I don't think anyone can be 100% self accepting and uncaring. We all have moments of weakness. About a year ago I became part of a group called Unicorn Moms. You may have seen my references to it on social media. The gist of it is this:

A Unicorn Mom is a mother 
who's not perfect, enjoys alcohol, 

has a sense of humor, and couldn't 
care less what you think. 

I don't agree with everything posted in the group, but I enjoy being part of a group where we don't get all over each other about our differences. (I also understand you don't have to drink alcohol to be cool - so if that's an issue for you, please know I didn't make up the definition or the term) I'm bringing this to you today because the holidays are hard. You don't need to be part of a group, and that's not why I'm telling you about it. You can be a unicorn without being a mom or joining a group. Be your own cheerleader - realize that you are more than ordinary - you are extraordinary! Especially during this, the time of year when we seem to doubt ourselves most. Regardless of your religion or tradition, you've likely been very busy and will remain busy through the new year. There are parties to attend (does this dress make me look fat? what if I say the wrong thing? does my hair look grey?) and there are people stopping by (is the house clean enough? did I make enough food? do you think anyone will notice I haven't cleaned under that since George W was president?). 

I feel great about myself until I start imaging what other people are thinking about me. A lot of this has subsided with age. I also remind myself that I am enough. I love enough, I laugh enough, I clean enough, I've also been ending some of my vlogs reminding my friends of the same thing. You don't have to be part of the Unicorn Mom group, that's not what this is about. What you have to do is give yourself a break. Especially when life gets hard. Cheer yourself on with positive thoughts and positive self talk!

2016 was one of those years. More people than not are saying "2016 was a rough year, I can't wait for it to end." Lots of things have happened that are completely beyond your control. What is within your control is your attitude. Remind yourself you are enough. Try to love more, laugh more, and don't care so much about what other people think. Let's all try to go into 2017 accepting our imperfections and loving ourselves just a little bit more.

What do you currently tell yourself when you look in the mirror?

What is your most beautiful trait (physical or otherwise)?

What group has been beneficial for you when it comes to being positive, motivated, and emotionally healthy?

What are you excited about in 2017 and beyond?

Share your thoughts in the comments - we would love to hear from beautiful YOU!

Hugs,

~Crystal

PS - what books did you get for Christmas? 

I'm excited to say I got a huge stack...stay tuned for reviews! 

Crystal is a church musician, babywearing mama (aka crunchy mama), business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Publicist with Dream of Things Publishing, Press Corp teammate for the DairyGirl Network, Unicorn Mom Ambassador, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Manitowoc County, Wisconsin with her husband, four young children (Carmen 9, Andre 8, Breccan 3, and Delphine 1), two dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 230 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal riding unicorns, taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other stuff at:http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/

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4 comments acceptance, facebook groups, friendship, love, new year, new you, self acceptance, self care, self love, social media, unicorn mom

Do It Anyway! (find your joy)

this man brings me joy every day ~
 thank you Mark Otto! (aka, my biggest cheerleader)

My children probably think I'm writing something about their lack of enthusiasm about chores. I'm often heard saying "do it anyway" in response to someone not wanting to put laundry away or load the dishwasher. Fortunately for you dear readers, today's post has nothing to do with laundry or dishes (but if you ask nicely, I'll share my chocolate chip cookie recipe in the comments if you'd like).

Today, I'm talking about that inner voice that turns us away from doing something beneficial for ourselves. It could be your morning walk on the treadmill, opening your journal on a daily basis, or making time for date night with your spouse. When you feel like you're struggling in life, the best advice is "Do It Anyway!". That's easier said than done. It's in our nature to make excuses or think we aren't meant to be the priority right now. Once we lose focus, we slide down that slippery slope and our goals become harder to see and more difficult to attain. You knew all this already, but here's your not so subtle kick in the pants - Do It Anyway!

I've gotten so busy promoting the work of others that I've completely stalled in my own writing. It wasn't intentional, life just got in the way. I hadn't even thought about it until I was speaking with a friend this morning. My lovely friend is a cancer survivor. A month ago she was on top of the world. She had been a year cancer free and she was working out, feeling great, and planning vacations. Today she is faced with a diagnosis that her cancer metastasized. She admitted to me that she can't stop crying and doesn't want to get out of bed. I am that friend - that friend who showed up at her door and lectured her about not allowing this diagnosis to steal her joy. I reminded her how much she loves watching the squirrels playing in her bird feeders, how much her grandchildren love visiting, and that she needs to rekindle that spark so she can fight this.

As those words left my lips, I realized I needed them as much as she did. I don't have a medical diagnosis stealing my joy. I have the busy-ness of life stealing my joy. Why do I let that happen? (This is NOT the first time) I love writing in my journal, working on my blog, etc... and those things bring me joy. Instead of doing the things that bring me joy, I've been staying busy doing things I felt needed to be done for the good of the family. Now wait just a minute - wouldn't it benefit the family if I was over the moon joyful because I had made time to enjoy my life? Of course it would. I don't need to let the house crumble around me, I just need to carve out a few minutes each day for the things I love so I can find my joy. On those days I don't feel like doing it, I need to be my own cheerleader screaming

DO IT ANYWAY !

So you dear friend - what is stealing your joy? What could you do every day to bring back that joy? What advice would you share with someone struggling to find time for their craft?

Crystal is a church musician, babywearing mama (aka crunchy mama), business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Publicist with Dream of Things Publishing, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Manitowoc County, Wisconsin with her husband, four young children (Carmen 8, Andre 7, Breccan 2, and Delphine 11 months), two dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 230 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal riding unicorns, blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other stuff at: http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/ and here: http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/

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4 comments being happy, cheer someone on, Finding Joy, inner voice, journaling, self care, struggling

Unplug Little Bug; New Years Thoughts and Ideas

Happy New Year Friends and Family!

If you’re anything like me, you were or are feeling a little sluggish and possibly “burnt out” after a busy/ hectic 2014. We had plenty of signals I was ignoring here at the Otto household:

• We were getting through the holidays instead of enjoying them

• The children were acting out (I was getting calls from school)

• We just weren’t feeling as jolly as in years past

We have so much to be thankful for and we weren’t forgetting that, but our cup of joy wasn’t overflowing in its usual way. I couldn’t quite put my finger on the root cause, but there was definitely something brewing. In hindsight I can see things clearly (isn’t that always how it goes?), and there were plenty of signs trying to get my attention.

• My hubby said “the kids are just so busy they don’t have time to play, run outside, or be kids”

• My iphone battery kept going dead or had a bug or something and the trouble shooting list included the warning: “use an alarm clock instead of keeping your phone on all night; no one needs to be that connected”

• My OB reminded me I need to be getting more sleep and it’s still okay to nap and sleep when our 15 month old is napping/sleeping

• Our neighbor encouraged my husband and I to take a ‘babymoon’ before the next baby arrives

For some reason, I dismissed each of these signs and just kept plugging away. After all, there were appointments to keep, cookies to bake, trees to cut down and decorate, clothes to wash, books to read, floors to clean, presents to buy, and the list goes on and on.

Christmas Day, I crashed and burned…I got up at 4am to make pancakes and bacon. I wanted the day to be special when the children woke up and I wanted my husband to have something hearty to eat before heading out to milk cows. The house was clean, the coffee was fresh brewed, and breakfast was made with just the right amount of love. The sitter arrived and I hopped in our vehicle and headed for church (I’m the church organist, so as much as I know the kiddos need to sleep in and relax, it wasn’t an option for mom). I hadn’t eaten any of the breakfast I made, and I must have drank a fair amount of coffee…despite the recommendation pregnant women should only drink one cup per day. I had only had 3 hours of sleep and I justified the extra caffeine as being necessary to get through the day.

I was wobbly and shaky trying to climb the stairs to the organ in the church balcony. I sat down for a bit and even grabbed an extra bottle of water trying to make myself feel better. I kept mentally reminding myself “they need you” and “you can’t let anyone down”. By the grace of God I made it through the service and even drove home. My husband saw me sitting in my vehicle 10 minutes after I pulled in. He stopped to see how I was and I wasn’t sure…instead of enjoying Christmas, I asked the sitter to stay while I took a 3 hour nap. Two things “hit me” at I was waking up:

• If it’s important for the life of my phone to turn it off at night so it can recharge properly, why isn’t it important for me? Aren’t I more important than a piece of technology?

• How can I expect my children to accept their imperfections if I keep thinking I need to do it all and be everything to everyone?

As an answer to those questions, this girl will be unplugging in 2015. I will not be answering emails at 3 in the morning, I will not stay up until the wee hours of the night reading a book just so I can post my review quickly, and I will be telling people (nicely of course) I do not have time to help with special projects. I’m going to let calls go to voicemail once in a while and I am going to adhere to my original plan of having a 3 day weekend with a 4 day work week. If this makes me “lazy” in the eyes of others, so be it. 2015 is the year I am taking care of what is important to me, so don’t be surprised if you receive my out of office email once in a while.

What’s new for you in 2015? What are your resolutions? What type of reflections do you have for 2014? What are your goals for the New Year? Share them here and then be sure to share them with others so you are more accountable. Hugs from my family to yours and may 2015 be everything you desire (and then some)!

Photo Courtesy of Oh! Photography

Crystal is a church musician, business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Reedsville, Wisconsin with her husband, three young children (Carmen 7, Andre 6, Breccan 15 months), two dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 200 Holsteins. The Otto family is expecting an addition with Delphine Elizabeth Otto in February 2015!

You can find Crystal blogging and reviewing books and all sorts of other stuff at: http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/ and keep up with her WOW! tours and blog posts at: http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/

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4 comments 2015, burned out, new start, new year new start, new year thoughts, personal time, refresh, resolutions, self care, unplug, vacation

Learning to Say NO!

Good morning!

Well - I blew it yesterday with my poor parenting and then I fell asleep without setting up my blog post for the Muffin...I have to tell you that this very morning I feel like a complete and utter failure. However, my motto in life is that when I get lemons I will turn them into lemonade. At the end of my blog posts I always say the following to readers: May your paths be abundantly filled with lemons, sugar, and sunshine! I truly believe that those not so comfortable moments (the lemons) are catalysts for change. They are moments that allow us clarity and opportunity. So, instead of beating myself up this morning, I thought I would share my thoughts...

I am 35 weeks pregnant and had no business taking my 5 and 6 year old to the county fair yesterday. It was 90 degrees in the shade and I should have been sitting home with my feet up. Instead, I spent 5 hours at the fair walking around being uncomfortable. When it was time to go I of course pushed a little harder and let the children go on a few more rides. Unfortunately my generosity was not met with gratitude. I listened to quite a bit of whining on the way to the car AND the entire way home.

Why is it so hard to say no? Why didn't I just stay home and tell the children we can all go next year after their brother is here and mommy feels better?

Similarly, last week I agreed to help coordinate a charity event in town. I wanted to say no, but instead I agreed and then felt like I had too many irons in the fire. My inability to say no seems to be the root cause of most of the stress in my life.

Do you find that as an author you are pulled in too many directions as well? Is it book signings, guest blog posts, social events? Have you learned to say no? How did you learn that important lesson and can you share with us (me)?

Now I'm off to feed calves and help with hay - again....unable to say no...and did I mention the 17 pounds of garden fresh tomatoes I am supposed to turn into salsa and can later today to...Help!!

Crystal J. Casavant-Otto is a church musician, business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Reedsville, Wisconsin with her husband, two young children (Carmen 6 and Andre 5), three dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, and over 200 Holsteins. Crystal and her husband, Mark, are expecting another son at the end of September. You can find Crystal blogging at: http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/

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7 comments caring for yourself, giving yourself a break, saying no, self care, taking on too much, time management