Book Review Calm the F*CK Down: The Only Parenting Technique You'll Ever Need

Saturday, October 03, 2015
Review by Crystal J. Casavant-Otto

I was a bit taken aback when I received the book Calm the F*ck Down as part of my BabyGuyBox for September. The BabyGuy has never led me astray, so I tried to be open minded. I waited until all four of our children were in bed, poured myself a cup of decaf coffee and settled in to check this book out. It was absolutely hilarious as well as filled with real world, practical advice. I love giving expecting friends the book: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, but now I can give them a copy of Calm the F*ck Down as well.

Here's how I described Calm the F*ck Down   when I explained it to my husband:

It's just like having coffee with you (dear husband) 
and with one of my Besties (who has 9 children).

Here's a quick illustration:

I say "Do you think it's a problem that baby hasn't pooped in 3 days? I'm starting to think something is wrong with me, my milk, her, or maybe its..."

Hubby says "Seriously, just relax, I'm sure it's no big deal" (loosely translated: Calm the F*ck Down!!!!)

Bestie says "Oh, that happens, especially with breastfeed babies. They can go up to 7 days without pooping and it's no problem. Crystal, it just means she is getting everything she needs and there's not much waste. Look at her, she's doing great"

Do you see what happened there? I freaked the freak out. Hubby did the eye roll with words, and my Bestie talked me down off the ledge and reassured me I'm a rockstar parent! That's exactly what happens as you read Calm the F*ck Down: The Only Parenting Technique You'll Ever Need. This book is filled with real world advice and reassurance, as well as a reminder that you should probably just breathe every once in awhile instead of going off the parental deep end. I would absolutely recommend this book for parents, expectant parents, and even seasoned parents. We have four children and there are plenty of times I've gotten concerned over something and just needed a wee bit of reassurance.

This awesome book came in my BabyGuyBox but is available on Amazon.

Details/Description: If you're a good parent, you probably drive yourself batshit with worry. This book is for you. Based on his viral blog post and addressing concerns from "my baby won't poop" to "my boy likes girl toys" to "everything costs too much," David Vienna's wise and funny parenting advice will amuse and inform and remind you that (almost) nothing is worth freaking out about.
Includes advice from actual experts!

Great new dad gift that'll keep him calm, cool, and collected

Paperback: 112 pages
Publisher: Knock Knock (February 1, 2015)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1601066643
ISBN-13: 978-1601066640

About Author David Vienna:

David Vienna is the creator of The Daddy Complex, a parenting humor website where he chronicles misadventures with his wife and twin sons. In his eclectic professional writing career, he's penned everything from corporate marketing campaigns to reality TV scripts (that one really awesome episode of House Hunters--yeah, that was his), and he even wrote three stage musicals. His work also appears in exquisitely crafted drunken emails to his friends from high school. He likes long walks on the beach and his favorite color is green.

Quick shout out to the BabyGuyNYC and the September #BabyGuyBox - 
without you, I wouldn't have laughed nearly as hard this month!!!

Crystal tandem babywearing Delphine (left)
and Breccan (right)
Crystal is a church musician, babywearing mama, business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Publicist with Dream of Things Publishing, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Reedsville, Wisconsin with her husband, four young children (Carmen 8, Andre 7, Breccan 2, and Delphine 7 months), two dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 230 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other stuff at:
 and here:


Cathy Biggerstaff said...

Call me old fashioned but with that title, no matter how good the book is, I wouldn't buy it. I'd be embarrassed to give it to my friends and they would think I had fallen off the deep end if I did.

Crystal Otto said...

Right? Had I not gotten it as a surprise (included in my BABYGUYBOX), I never would have given it the time of day. I waited until our older kids were in bed before even taking it out of the box. Maybe they'll re-publish someday with a more politically correct title....but the information is priceless. (Maybe ill get certain friends the kindle version as a discreet option? )

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