Stop the Spread!

Friday, August 21, 2020
This title is is a wee bit misleading (albeit catchy I hope). I don't want to talk about (or think about) masks or Covid-19. Now that we got that out of the way...

Let's stop the spread of negativity. Let's start with ourselves and work our way outward (and yes, I am that PollyAnna type who truly thinks she can change the world). Many of you have been saying "I can't concentrate because of everything going on around me right now", "I can't seem to read a book", "I can't stay on task", "I can't lose weight", "I can't meet my deadlines", etc...

Do you realize what you are actually doing when you say these things (even silently to yourself)? 

Negative self-talk can affect us in damaging ways - just query negative self talk and read all about the possible associations between low self esteem, mental issues, depression, and more. It's not always easy to change the way we talk to ourselves and others, but being more mindful will definitely head us in the right direction. Here are a few steps to take to stop the spread of negativity:

*Acknowledge the Problem - here's where you stop and recognize that "boy you look fat in this dress" is negative. If we don't acknowledge there's a problem, we can't fix it. 

*Situation Assessment - this part is hard, but try to look at the situation objectively. I'll use the negative comment above - your inner critic is telling you the dress isn't flattering and now you need to decide if that's true or not. I've found myself to be much more realistic when it comes to others. So, ask yourself if this was someone else what would you think of the dress. 9 times out of 10, I'm just being hard on myself and if anyone else looked exactly the way I do in the dress I'd compliment them. Similarly, with my writing - I ask myself if someone else had written this would I be so critical. Once I've assessed the situation I can move forward with telling that inner critic they are indeed wrong and they need to be quiet. 

*Shift Your Thinking - We've acknowledged the critic, we've assessed the situation and determined the critic to be wrong, and now what? Now, we need to come up with a positive statement (at least 1, but 3 is better!) to use instead of the negative self talk. In our original example, we could use 1 or all the  following: 
    **"boy - that dress really brings out your great shoulders!"
    **"wow - you look awesome and the length on you is perfect!"
    **"wait til ________________ sees you in this, you look 10 years younger!"

As we start talking to ourselves in the same encouraging way we would talk to a best friend, we will be more confident and that snarky little inner critic will learn to take his or her place in the back of the room! Give it a try today!

In case you didn't notice, the first letter of each step spells ASS and some people tell you to give your inner critic a nickname...this one seems fitting...but I'll let you decide!

Hopefully these tips and tricks will help you turn your inner critic into an inner cheerleader and you can stop the spread of negativity while promoting a positive self image. And trust me - once you start cheering yourself on more, you'll find you can't help but become a cheerleader for those around you! We can create a domino effect and yes, I truly believe we can take these small steps and change the world!

Before you head out on your world changing journey - please drop a comment on things you have found helpful with encouraging yourself or others. Also - feel free to talk about someone who has inspired you!


and now...a little more about me...

Shown from left to right:
Delphine riding Honey
Mr. Otto holding Eudora
Crystal riding Marv.
Thank you Forward Farm, LLC 
Crystal is the office manager, council secretary, financial secretary, and musician at her church, birth
mother, Auntie, babywearing mama, business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Press Corp teammate for the DairyGirl Network, Unicorn Mom Ambassador, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and their five youngest children, two dogs, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, horses Darlin' and Joker, pony Miss Maggie May, and over 250 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal milking cows, riding horses, and the occasional unicorn (not at the same time), taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books here, and at her own blog - Crystal is dedicated to turning life's lemons into lemonade and she has never (not once) been accused of being normal!


Sue Bradford Edwards said...

Negative self-talk is a huge problem in our society. I also suspect that when we are so negative about ourselves, we take it out on others. That leads to a lot of lost time, energy, etc. that could be spent writing.

Love the photo you used for this. You look so "hey, now!"

Jeanine DeHoney said...

Great post Crystal to remind us all about how negative self talks affects us and those around us. For me, I read daily affirmations to stay in a positive frame of mind and my sister is one who definitely inspires me because of her strength.

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