Perspective - What's Yours?

Wednesday, April 06, 2022


Perspective - What's Yours?

How silly is this cow?

She's trying to figure out what I'm drinking - cows are naturally curious animals and I just love spending time with them. When I was looking for a picture for this article, I thought you'd all enjoy this particular perspective seeking, milk producing, bovine! 

I learned something new lately and have been applying it in all sorts of areas of my life, but it can definitely help us as writers. Particularly if someone says something negative about our work. Keep that in mind while you're reading and get ready for my infamous questions at the end of our time together!

By definition, perspective is our attitude about things. Here's what I thought in the past (and it was holding me back):

* I thought I had to attend every argument 
* I thought I had to win every argument

It seems silly when you write it out like that, doesn't it? My problem is my emotions get the best of me; particularly so when it comes to teenage offspring. My new perspective is helping me be more peaceful:

* It's okay to walk away from an argument
* When you argue with someone you love, you don't both lose

Isn't that interesting? I went from having to have the last word to being able to peacefully walk away. I'm decades away from convincing my teenage daughter that taking her cell phone away is for her own good. Arguing with her about it is damaging our relationship and when things get heated, we run the risk of saying something we don't mean. It is completely okay for us to walk away from those type of arguments.

I haven't always been able to walk away. I heard other mom voices in my head saying "you can't let them get away with that" and I felt like I had to attend every argument I was invited to. I forgive myself for the times I didn't walk away and now that I know better, I'm doing better. 

As for my writing - if someone wants to write a negative review or provide negative feedback, guess what? I don't have to reply! I don't even have to change anything I'm doing! I do NOT have to attend the argument. I can hear what they are saying and move on - it's okay! We both win - they said what they had to say and I can walk away without the stress of thinking of some snappy come-back - and feels good! 

As our time together comes to an end, let me ask you:

What was something you previously thought that was holding you back? What opened your eyes and how has your perspective changed?

How do you deal with a negative review or critical comments when it comes to your writing?

Since I never leave the farm - tell me about something exciting happening in your town or city? Tell us a little bit about your 'neck of the woods'? What's going on with you friend?

 Share your answers as a comment on this post!



About Today's Author:

Crystal is a foodie, farmer, and friend! She has 6 children and lots of special young people who call her "mom" even if she isn't 'their' mom! She starts each day sipping coffee and milking cows with the love of her life and occasionally ends the day with a glass of wine.  Crystal is raising kids and cattle while juggling cleaning jobs, bartending shifts, music gigs, her job as office manger and she escapes reality a few hours each week riding horses and reading books (not simultaneously)! And who knows, she may start blogging again sometime soon:

In the meantime, you can find her posting pics of food, cattle, and more on Instagram and Facebook


Angela Mackintosh said...

So true, Crystal! When I first started working online I thought I had to answer every negative email, and I remember working with a successful advertising partner and she said, "We don't have to answer this, do we?" And I thought, she's right! We shouldn't spend our time on negative comments. In my personal life, I'm currently a caregiver to my father at the end stages of his life, and I find myself "walking away" mentally a LOT. I refuse to argue with him when he gets aggressive and combative, which is daily because of his brain tumor. There are battles that aren't worth fighting, and you're right, when you argue with someone you love, you both lose. Great insight. <3

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