Showing posts with label writer moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writer moms. Show all posts

Entering the Empty Nester Phase

Thursday, August 08, 2024

 

It’s still summer here, but the banister of our staircase is draped with new flannel long-sleeved shirts and a sturdy, practical jacket we got on sale at the Eddie Bauer outlet store. The dining room holds fluffy new bath towels, washed and folded, as well as a clean pile of sheets in XL. In the corner sits a mini-refrigerator, still in the box, ready to be hauled out to our car and packed in five days. 

Since he graduated from high school in early June, I’ve kept my emotions tucked away in a place where I couldn't reach them until now. My 18-year-old son, the baby in the family, officially leaves for college next week and my husband and I will become empty nesters. I didn’t think it would hit me this hard, but it has. As I watch my son head out each day to visit with his tight-knit group of friends, whether meeting for breakfast or a game of hoops that turns into chatting in the parking lot of the neighborhood park for hours, I’m filled with conflicting emotions. 

You'd think I would be used to this by now. In 2022, my daughter received an offer she couldn’t refuse at a large public university eight hours away. Last year we moved her into her first apartment, and I had a mild panic attack after we drove away—did we buy her enough groceries? Would she be safe in her new community and when would her other roommates finally arrive? Did we do all the proper maintenance on her car? With my son I told myself it would be easier because he’s going to college a mere two hours away, but it’s still hitting me hard. As the countdown begins, I count my blessings while they are both still here (my daughter returned home this summer to work as a camp counselor).

I’m fortunate to have built the career I have, where I taught myself how to become a freelance writer and maintain relationships with editors that have given me contract jobs and assignments when I most needed them. Without this career, I wouldn’t have been able to spend as much time with my kids. 

I’ll never forget all the summer excursions we took to the library, hunting down treasures in the shelves of the book sales and participating in summer reading programs. The trips we’ve been able to take together as a family are well worth the sacrifice, while my husband always said, “maybe next year,” I became insistent that “next year” will be gone before we know it. What do you know, I was right. Somehow, we managed to squeeze in countless trips to the beach and mountains, along with one memorable trip to the Virgin Islands, Disney World and Universal Studios, and New York City, among other places. 

As they are packing their bags, I’m happy to have been nurturing my writing and podcasting career all along, while still trying to be the best mom that I can. I’m confident immersing myself in this work will serve me well as I try not to worry or miss them too much this fall (trips are already planned for football games at both their respective universities, however!) 

If I had to give any new parent advice, it would be to make sure to invest in yourself. Your kids will always be there, and you can always make time for them, but they will leave someday. There is absolutely nothing wrong with finding a hobby you enjoy, a career that lights you up, or outings or trips with friends or your partner that will refresh your soul when you need it the most. You will always be there for them, but you must also take care of yourself. They will respect you for it, learn independence, and become your biggest cheerleaders. 

Psychologist Margaret Rutherford once advised, “Your child’s life will be filled with fresh experiences. It’s good if yours is as well.” 

Let’s do this. 

Renee Roberson is an award-winning writer who also hosts the true crime podcast, Missing in the Carolinas. She is the proud mom of a college freshman and junior, both planning to major in communications.
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The Soundtrack of My Writing Life

Saturday, June 08, 2019

My daughter turns 16 next week. I can’t believe I have a child old enough to drive. As I was helping to put together a music playlist for her dance party that will take place tonight, I started thinking about what kind of a soundtrack I could create for my writing life. After all, I did make the move to freelance writing after she was born and I didn’t want to go back to a full-time job right away.

After two nights of listening to music and pondering, here’s what I could come up with.

The Teen Angst Years-From Debbie Gibson to Depeche Mode
Those were some confusing times. I idolized pop singer Debbie Gibson and was tickled that she and I shared the same birthday. After moving from Texas to North Carolina the summer before seventh grade, I didn’t know a soul. I spent that summer belting out every song on Gibson’s “Out of the Blue” album and studying her song lyrics in the liner notes of my cassette tapes (Remember those?) Then I filled notebooks full of peach and purple-colored paper with song lyrics about my oh-so-complicated love life (read, non-existent love life) at the age of 12. Later on in high school, I advanced a little bit and wrote dark and depressing poems that wound up in our school’s literary journal, and artists like Depeche Mode (“Enjoy the Silence,” anyone?) began weaving their way into my cassette player as I pondered the world around me.

The College Years-Tori Amos
Life got a bit more confusing in college. I didn’t do a great job of balancing my studies while working two jobs, fell in love with all the wrong people, and didn’t really know what self care was. The majority of my writing during this time period was limited to research papers and a book of poetry I wrote for the final project in my humanities class my junior year. This included a poem about Sylvia Plath and her untimely death, if that gives you any idea of where my head was at the time. Indie princess Tori Amos became my idol, as I marveled at how easily she poured her emotions into her lyrics and music, even when it made everyone around her uncomfortable.

Life in the Suburbs-Ben Folds
Like I mentioned above, it wasn’t until I was firmly entrenched in suburbia with two small children that I began writing again in earnest. In between writing parenting articles and restaurant reviews for local publications, I penned short stories about frustrated moms who weren’t sure how they would ever find time for themselves again. I began listening to music by people like Ben Folds (“Rockin’ the Suburbs” is still my favorite and my teens now request that one in the car, curse words and all) and started realizing what those singers were talking about in songs like “1985” by Bowling for Soup and “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne.

Mother of Teenagers-Nostalgia Sets In
Now I’m in my 40s, writing books and stories for teenagers because I still want to read them myself and thinking about how different my own teen years were as I watch them and their friends. I watch in horror as every movie I loved in high school is remade with newer and hipper actors and music. It makes me want to sit on my couch with a glass of wine and watch the original version of “Footloose” and listen to music by Rick Springfield, Bonnie Tyler, The Cure, and The Pixies.

I don’t know what I would have done without music to get me through my life and accompany me in my writing career. What music do you have a fondness before as you look back in your past?

Renee Roberson is an award-winning writer and editor who also works as a marketing director for a nonprofit theatre company. Visit her website at www.FinishedPages.com.
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Father's Day Thanks

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Trying to pursue a writing career is not easy. It requires a thick skin, loads of tenacity, and a phenomenal support system. While we would all love to write in a vacuum, if you’re juggling a writing career with raising a family, that is not going to happen. Most of us have someone in our lives who motivates us to keep going, tackle that next revision, and also lets us know when the work we’re producing isn’t quite up to par.

As we celebrate Father’s Day today, I’d like to take the opportunity to say a few words of thanks to a very important “Dad” in my life—my husband, Daniel. Without this guy, I know for a fact I wouldn’t be the writer I am today. Here are just a few ways he’s encouraged me:

1. When I first started freelancing after our daughter was born 12 years ago, he told me to stick with it. Never once did he say, “Are you sure you’re going to be able to make enough money doing that?”

2. Daniel is the glue that holds our family together, in more ways than one. I am thankful he has a good job with benefits that allows me to provide the supplemental income to our household while keeping up with our kids’ schoolwork and extracurricular activities. Even though I’m sure he’d love it if I worked a tad harder to bring in a steady paycheck, he doesn’t voice that opinion out loud. One day I hope to be able to contribute as much he as he does, but I’m just not there yet.

3. He puts up with my moods and tendency to get cranky when I’m working on a tough project under a deadline. He gives me space when I need it, keeps the kids entertained, and provides me with plenty of coffee to get me through every single time.

4. He models positivity for our kids. He rearranges his schedule so I can attend conferences, he takes them to shop for thoughtful writer gifts for me, and he tells me how proud he is of me in front of them. Because of that, I sometimes feel I have my own cheer squad living right inside my house—and that's a great feeling.

5. Even though he doesn’t necessarily enjoy reading novels, he’s pored over countless revisions of my YA novel and given me honest feedback, all while telling me not to give up. Nor does he groan outwardly when NaNoWriMo rolls around and I retreat into my office for an entire month in order to crank out those 50,000 words as many would do. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

I'd love to know--who motivates you to keep writing even when you’re ready to throw your notepads and computer out the window?

Renee Roberson is an award-winning writer and editor who also works as a Blog Tour Manager for WOW! Women on Writing. She is currently seeking blog hosts for Susan Weidener's tour for A Portrait of Love and Honor, scheduled to begin July 20. Visit her blog at Renee’s Pages.
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Interview with Julianne Palumbo of Online Literary Journal Mothers Always Write

Tuesday, April 07, 2015
Becoming a mother has inspired scores of women to take pen to paper, so when we received an e-mail recently from an online literary journal seeking submissions, we had to learn more. We reached out to editor-in-chief Julianne Palumbo to learn more about her own writing, the decision to launch Mothers Always Write, and what types of submissions she is seeking. Welcome Julianne!

-----Interview by Renee Roberson

WOW: Mothers Always Write sounds like a great concept for an online literary magazine. Can you give us little background information on how it got started?

Julianne: Thanks so much, Renee, for your interest in Mothers Always Write. I started Mothers Always Write because, as a mother-writer, myself, I believe there’s a need for more places to publish mother writing. There are some beautiful sites/journals out there that publish mother writing, but there are many more mothers who want to share their writing. I can tell my hunch was correct by the huge response our new journal has received.

The onset of blogging has spurned many mothers to find their writing voices. Mother writing can be a source of support to moms who can sometimes find parenting to be an isolating venture. As a mother writer, I produce countless poems and essays about my experiences raising my children. I write to understand them, to document them, and to share them. Reading about parenting experiences can also be a source of connection between moms.

The goal of MAW is to be a journal that creates a feeling of community with our writers and between our writers. We welcome new submissions from our already published writers. We try to turn around pieces in a month on average so as to be respectful of their own publishing goals. We also provide specific feedback on pieces where the writers ask us to (and even sometimes when they don’t) and aim to be accessible through email to our writers to answer any questions and to help them along in the process. We also work to promote the pieces along with our writers. As a mother writer, I found that both motherhood and writing can be isolating. You write, you submit, you wait to receive an answer, and then you receive a form letter. No feedback. I crave community with other writers, and at MAW we hope to be able to provide that community. We even have some ideas for how we are going to offer community between writers who have been published in our journal.

WOW: Tell us about yourself. How did you decide to make the switch from a career in law to creative writing?

Julianne: I was a writer since I can remember, writing poetry and stories when I was very young. After studying creative writing and journalism at Boston College, my life took a detour from my creative side, and I went to law school for practical reasons. I practiced law for 17 years (part-time for many of those years), before the call to be home with my children became too strong to resist any longer. I could finally afford to do so, so I retired from law and took up writing and stay at home mothering. I had done a lot of writing and speaking as a lawyer, mostly business and legal articles. I found that writing terse, and it took a while once I retired before I could feel the well of creativity return.

I wrote mostly YA stuff, verse novels at first. Then, I tried everything else—short stories, essays, and poetry. I have published two poetry chapbooks—both about mothering and just finished my third. I couple my own writing with editing the magazine. I also love to mentor teens and to coach them in writing. I think writing is a great outlet for reaching teens and for helping them to know themselves. I am presenting a workshop at the Dare to Dream Conference in Rhode Island May and am really excited about being able to use writing to help teens find themselves.

WOW: Who else works with you to read the submissions?

Julianne: Shortly after I founded the magazine, I was so fortunate to hear from a mother poet, Krystal Sital, who expressed interest in editing with me. She had come across the site and liked the idea. Krystal holds an MFA from Hunter College in Creative Nonfiction where she was a Hertog Fellow, was awarded the Memoir Prize and the Audre Lorde Award. Krystal has a wonderful eye for poetry, and I value her input tremendously. She has two little girls, so it is fun to remember through her those years of mothering young children. I am so impressed how she can get so much done! My three are mostly grown now, two in college (one of them graduating and engaged) and my youngest a junior in high school.



WOW: Who is your target audience?

Julianne: MAW’s target audience is mothers who enjoy literature about motherhood. We try to keep the content varied and relatable so that the poetry and essay can offer appeal to moms of children from infant to empty nest. We publish poems and essays in each of three categories: Infancy, middle grade/teens, and empty nest/adult children. We also receive some wonderful pieces from father writers and are thrilled to publish those too. What’s been so much fun is to receive submissions and notes from women all over the world, to read about their mothering and to know that, while the geography may be different, the parenting experiences are so much the same.

WOW: How often do you plan to publish Mothers Always Write?

Julianne: Mothers Always Write is released monthly. We add about nine new pieces around the third week of the month. But, hopefully beginning next month, our parenting blog will enable us to post new content more often than that.

WOW: What types of submissions are you seeking?

Julianne: We are seeking poems, essays, and blog posts. The poems we like are non-rhyming, up to 25 or so lines and tend to contain strong imagery and deep insight about parenting. For essays, we accept two categories: micro non-fiction (less than 300 words) and longer essays (less than 2,000 words). Both should be personal essays, narratives that represent true accounts of parenting from a mother’s (or father’s) point of view. The essays we like tend to contain a strong narrative, are rich in imagery and detail, and offer insight into some experience of parenting. Blog posts can be more informal, still about mothering and still with universal appeal. We accept only unpublished posts, meaning that they haven’t appeared anywhere online or in print.

WOW: What advice would you give writers who are considering submitting to MAW?

Julianne: To writers who are considering submitting to MAW, we would suggest that they please read our current and past issues online (Feb and March) and our writers’ guidelines. For poetry, we tend to like relatable poetry with lots of figurative language. For essays, often it works to focus on a specific happening or a visual observation and then draw us into your story from there.

WOW: Are you a paying market?

Julianne:  We are not as of yet a paying market, but we do offer exposure to our writers. We actively promote our writers on our social media and ask our writers to do the same. We hope to nominate this year for the Pushcart and for other prizes.

Visit Mothers Always Write at: http://mothersalwayswrite.com


Renee Roberson is an award-winning freelance writer and editor who also works as a blog tour manager for WOW! Women on Writing. The birth of her daughter in 2003 inspired her to embark on a career in freelance writing.
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The Prolific Parent

Sunday, March 31, 2013

My first parenting clip

Back in 2005, I noticed a local parenting magazine ran a monthly feature called "Parent to Parent." I wrote up a fun column called "How I Became a Domestic Goddess," submitted it to the editor and was surprised when a friend told me she had seen it in the magazine a few months later. The publication didn't pay for that particular column at that point, but I had my first parenting clip. I was ecstatic.

From there, I brainstormed other ideas from articles, taken directly from my own experiences, because that is what I felt most comfortable writing about. This inspired me to write one of my first published parenting articles, "Meal Solutions for New Parents," which has since been rewritten and reprinted for other publications.

Like many aspiring parent writers, I also sent off a few article ideas via snail mail to the big parenting publications like Babytalk, Parents and Parenting. For the most part, I never got any responses back. However, I took some of those same queries and sent them out to a few local regional parenting publications, and within a few months, had made several sales. Eventually, I took a job as an associate editor at the regional parenting publication that gave me my first break, where I made a startling discovery—there was a lot more opportunity for publication in regional parenting magazines than I originally thought.

Regional parenting publications may have a much lower pay scale than the nationals, but most writers have a better shot of getting published in these magazines, and if they market themselves properly, they can generate a steady reprint income. But when I mention this fact to some of the writers I know, they have no idea of the amount of publishing opportunities out there in regional parenting pubs. It is possible to publish an article in Atlanta Parent, even if you don't live in the area. You just have to know how to find sources in that area and relevant tie-ins. Some editors don't even ask for that, and evergreen articles suit them just fine. These days, I'm writing more about social media safety for tweens than how to pacify a whining toddler, but I still haven't run out of ideas for the parenting market, and neither should you.

Read more about this topic:
Tap Into Your Family: Parenting Publications

Personalize Your Parenting (Writing)


Renee Roberson is an award-winning freelance writer and editor who blogs at Renee’s Pages.
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