Blog Tour for Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions by Susan Tive and Cami Ostman

& giveaway contest!

Beyond Belief addresses what happens when women of extreme religions decide to walk away. Editors Susan Tive (a former Orthodox Jew) and Cami Ostman (a de-converted fundamentalist born-again Christian) have compiled a collection of powerful personal stories written by women of varying ages, races, and religious backgrounds who share one commonality: they’ve all experienced and rejected extreme religions.

Covering a wide range of religious communities—including Evangelical, Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, Muslim, Calvinist, Moonie, and Jehovah’s Witness—and containing contributions from authors like Julia Scheeres (Jesus Land), the stories in Beyond Belief reveal how these women became involved, what their lives were like, and why they came to the decision to eventually abandon their faiths. The authors shed a bright light on the rigid expectations and misogyny so often built into religious orthodoxy, yet they also explain the lure—why so many women are attracted to these lifestyles, what they find that’s beautiful about living a religious life, and why leaving can be not only very difficult but also bittersweet.

Paperback: 328 Pages
Publisher: Seal Press (April 2, 2013)
ISBN-10: 1580054420
ISBN-13: 978-1580054423
Twitter hashtag: #SLWExtreme

Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions is available as a print and e-book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, and at your local independent bookstore.

Book Giveaway Contest: To win a copy of Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions, please enter using the Rafflecopter form at the bottom of this post. The giveaway contest closes next Friday, August 30th at 12:00 AM EST. We will announce the winner the same day in the Rafflecopter widget. Good luck!

About the Authors:

Cami Ostman is an author, editor, life coach and a licensed marriage and family therapist with publications in her field. She blogs at www.7marathons7continents.com and on the psychologytoday.com blogger team. She has appeared in several publications, including O, The Oprah Magazine, Fitness Magazine, Adventures Northwest, the Mudgee Guardian in Australia, and La Prensa in Chile. Her first book, Second Wind: One Woman's Midlife Quest to Run Seven Marathons on Seven Continents, was published by Seal Press. Cami is a runner and a dog lover who lives in Bellingham, Washington.

As a writer, editor and researcher Susan has worked on a variety of academic articles exploring psychology, feminism and religion. Susan’s interest in these subjects led her to become an editor for several non-fiction titles including Faith and Feminism and Rachel’s Bag. Susan works as a grant writer and developmental consultant. She lives in Bellingham, Washington, with her husband, Michael.

Find out more about these ladies by visiting them online:

Beyond Belief Blog: http://beyondbeliefanthology.com

Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Beyond-Belief-The-Secret-Lives-of-Women-in-Extreme-Religions/341371765891595

Cami's Twitter: http://twitter.com/camiostman

-----Interview by Crystal J. Otto

WOW: Cami, will you tell us a bit about yourself and your background? Have you always wanted to be a writer? One of your primary interests is memoir writing; what advice can you give others who would like to see their story published?

Cami: Thanks Crystal. Yes, I've wanted to be a writer since I was about nine years old. I wrote my first poem the first time I saw the Pacific Ocean. The sound of the waves and the vastness of the Pacific overwhelmed me; I felt I had to do something to express my feelings, so I wrote a couple of verses with an abab rhyme scheme. Over the next two and a half decades I rarely published, although I kept writing privately. When I discovered that I loved to read memoirs, I knew that would be the first genre I would want to publish in. In 2010, my dream came true when Brooke Warner at Seal Press loved my book idea [Second Wind: One Woman's Midlife Quest to Run Seven Marathons on Seven Continents] and offered me a contract.

For other memoir writers who would love to see their words in print, my first piece of advice would be to develop relationship with a community of writers. Start blogging (if you're not doing it already). Develop a sense of what people want to read and connect with your audience. Relationships with other writers and with my reading audience has been one of the most enriching aspects of publishing.

WOW: Just from working with you, I can tell how important relationships are; it has truly been a pleasure. Cami, When did you first consider yourself a writer?

Cami: Well, although, I've been writing creatively since I was very young, I've only recently begun to own my identity as a writer. Even after I published my first book, I continued to tell people that I was a "teacher" or a "therapist"—my two other professions. I think it has been the opportunity to support other writers in telling their stories (through editing and writing coaching) that has made me aware of how important it is to say, "I'm a writer." Now when people ask me what I do, "writer" is the first definition I give myself.

WOW: I love how you said “own my identity”—I think that’s something lots of writers struggle with.

Now here’s a question for you Susan! Both feminism and religion can be a touchy subjects; were you at all fearful about this or were there other challenges to overcome in taking Beyond Belief to print?

Susan: The idea for Beyond Belief came to me over six years ago when I was in a memoir writing class. Previously, I had worked on other books that explore the topics of women and religion, and the commonalities between feminists and women of faith so I was truly thrilled to take on the Beyond Belief anthology. In the memoir class, I met Cami and another writer who had also joined, lived in and left a traditional religious practice. Through our writings and discussions I realized how much we had in common. It was healing and powerful for me to share my story and I wanted to expand the conversation and invite more women to tell theirs. I was never fearful, but actually very excited, Beyond Belief felt like the right next book project for me to take on.

Because Beyond Belief is not a pro- or anti-religious book but strives to give voice to women’s stories it is accessible to everyone regardless of their own personal belief. In editing it we tried very hard to focus on good stories, important questions and an open ended tone which would invite readers from many different viewpoints to engage in the conversation.

WOW: That’s a great way to look at it Susan, it’s not really pro or anti religious. I had some people ask me that very question when I began talking about your tour—thanks for that clarification! Here’s a question for both of you: What is your favorite book? What is it about that book that you love so much?

Susan: Right now I am in love with Middlemarch by George Eliot. First of all, I am envious that she was able to write an 800-page book and find a publisher! But seriously, her writing is so exemplary of a strong feminine voice and perspective, her insight into human nature so shrewd and accurate. Her observations about society and relationships feel as relevant today as they were in her own time. I love novels that create their own world in all its particular detail while at the same time laying bare timeless universal truths that feel fresh and as if they came out of my own experience.

Cami: Choosing one book as a favorite feels impossible, but let me give it a try. If I were stranded on a desert island with only one book to read over and over again I think I would have to choose The Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. That book has so many nuances that I could read it over and over and never mine to the bottom. If you let me have a second book on the island, I would choose Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. As a psychotherapist and as a woman, I've learned from that book how to see the world in terms of metaphor. Having come from a pretty literal way of thinking in terms of my religion, donning the lenses of metaphor was a glorious revelation to me.

WOW: It certainly is hard to pick just one book, and don’t worry when I ask you again next time you can give a different answer (I usually do).

Cami, one of the topics you offered for your guest posts during the WOW! Tour included Women’s Empowerment. When did you become interested in this and can you tell us more about how you personally became empowered and why you’re so interested in helping others?

Cami: Absolutely! I was a late bloomer in growing into a healthy sense of empowerment. It was easy for me (and I know it's easy for many other women) to make pleasing others the primary goal in life. For years I grappled with how I could be strong and stand up for myself while still nurturing my relationships with others. I went to graduate school to become a therapist partly because I was looking for answers to my own questions about how to authentically honor myself and become a strong woman. I'm not saying I've figured everything out at this point, but I have now learned how to be true to my values even when challenged. I want every woman to have that freedom and strength.

WOW: Strong and nurturing at the same time, that’s quite a goal and now that you mention it, that’s exactly what I want for my daughter.

Susan, do you feel there is a difference between religion and spirituality? Can you give readers your take on this topic and explain a little bit more for us?

Susan: Yes, I do differentiate between religion and spirituality. I believe we are all spiritual beings. As humans we have a spiritual nature that we are born with, it is part of why we wonder, ask questions, seek meaning and connection in our lives. Religion is the codification or organization of this natural urge into a practice and set of rules and rituals. Religion is created by men to harness or direct this natural human impulse and to make it standardized and widespread. There is much about religion that is good and does help people to live better lives and treat one another with care. It is when the rules of a religious practice become an end in themselves and are no longer working with but against the spiritual nature of man that they can become extreme.

WOW: Susan, that was a relatively short answer but very deep. Thank you for sharing that differentiation with us.

The last two questions are for both of you. Any sneak peeks for us about what is in your future?

Susan: I’m working on my memoir about my ten plus years living in Orthodox Judaism. Writing a memoir is a challenging process and especially when it involves questions of religion and spirituality. I want to write this memoir because I want to understand why I made the choices I did. What was I looking for, what was missing outside of a religious life? I also want to confront some of the sadness I feel about having to leave, and what I miss and why. Many people are quick to assume that an extreme religion is discriminatory especially for women. In my story however, I gain great strength and power from my religious community and practice. I think it is important to highlight both the pros and cons of extreme religion and what it is really like for women on the inside.

Cami: I'm working on a book project I'm calling Chasing the Goddess. I'm in the process of visiting several sacred sites around the world where feminine deities are or have been revered. My hope is to find a way to really activate the goddess archetype—the sense of a strong, sacred, feminine energy that might offer an alternative to the "power over" energy of masculine-oriented spirituality—in myself and in the world. I believe that that which is personal is also political (and vice versa, of course) and hope that what I learn will trickle out from me into the way I operate in the world. I grew up steeped in the idea that I was made in the image of a masculine god; I now want to explore what would happen to my worldview if my baseline myths were feminine in their focus.

WOW: I’m so happy for both of you. For those of you that don’t know, Cami has also just returned from Japan and you can find out more about that trip and her future plans by visiting her blog: www.7marathons7continents.com

Anything you’d like to add as far as future plans for your writing or your family?

Susan: I have been writing ever since I was a young girl. When I was ten I told my mother I wanted to be a writer and she said, “writers write.” So I wrote in a journal or diary almost every day and would not let myself go to sleep unless I filled up at least a page in my diary. While I have long ago accepted the fact that writing is a solitary task I have more recently begun to appreciate the communal aspect of writing, and the collaborative effort it takes to publish and to keep motivated. I encourage anyone who wants to write to seek out others of like mind, join a writing group, read at an open mike, take a class and put yourself out there.

Cami: My first book was a memoir of how I ran the marathon distance on every continent (Second Wind: One Woman's Midlife Quest to Run Seven Marathons on Seven Continents). Running continues to be a huge commitment in my life. This year I'm training to shave an hour off of my average marathon finishing time (bringing me down to 4.5 hours if I pull it off). Following that, my husband Bill and I are hoping to complete a marathon in every U.S. state (ten down, forty to go). If you're a runner—or a walker—follow my longstanding running blog that Crystal mentioned above for encouragement and a fun training and travel log.

----------Blog Tour Dates

Monday, August 26 (today!) @ The Muffin
Stop by for an interview and book giveaway!
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/

Wednesday, August 28 @ Bring on Lemons
Giveaway of the intriguing anthology Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions and your chance to join Cami as she writes about the insightful topic of “Remaking Yourself After Divorce”.
http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/

Friday, August 30 @ Steph the Bookworm
Get in on the giveaway and join Stephanie as she reviews the anthology, Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions by Cami Ostman and Susan Tive.
http://www.stephthebookworm.com/

Monday, September 2 @ Words, Crazy Words
Read what Susan Tive writes in her guest post about “Feminism and Religion” and get in on the giveaway and your chance to win a copy of the anthology Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions.
http://wordscrazywords.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, September 4 @ Renee’s Pages
Read what Renee's thoughts were after finishing the anthology, Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions and partake in the giveaway for an opportunity to read this one for yourself!
http://www.reneespages.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, September 10 @ All Things Audry
Don't miss your chance to win a copy of Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women of Extreme Religion and enjoy a guest post by author, Susan Tive with the intriguing topic of “Motherhood in and out of Religion”
http://allthingsaudry.blogspot.com/

Thursday, September 12 @ Read These Books and Use Them!
Don't miss your chance to win a copy of Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women of Extreme Religion and join Margo as she shares her thoughts after reading this thought provoking anthology.
http://www.margodill.com/blog/

Friday, September 13 @ World of My Imagination
Don't miss your chance to win a copy of Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women of Extreme Religion and join Nicole as she shares her thoughts after reading this touching anthology.
http://theworldofmyimagination.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, September 17 @ CMash Reads
Join Susan and Cami as they enjoy the author spotlight at CMash Reads today. This is your chance at a giveaway for the anthology Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions. Cheryl has done a fabulous job with an in-depth author interview and excerpt especially for you. Enjoy!
http://cmashlovestoread.com/

Wednesday, September 18 @ Words from the Heart
Giveaway and review of Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of women in Extreme Religions. Find out more about the powerful words of this intriguing anthology!
http://contemplativeed.blogspot.com

Thursday, September 19 @ I’d So Rather Be Reading
Don't miss this opportunity to win your own copy of the moving anthology Beyond Belief; The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions this is one book you don't want to miss. Read a review just as expertly written as the book as Kelli shares her thoughts.
http://www.idsoratherbereading.com/

Monday, September 23 @ Mom-E-Centric
Today is a don’t miss day for a giveaway of the intriguing anthology Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions, and guest post by Cami about “Being True to Yourself”
http://momecentric.com/

Wednesday, September 25 @ Choices
Today is your day for a giveaway of the anthology Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions. This is also your opportunity to join Susan and Cami for a guest post titled: "Why Women Stay in Religious Communities"
http://madeline40.blogspot.com/

To view all our touring authors, check out our Events Calendar. Keep up with blog stops and giveaways in real time by following us on Twitter @WOWBlogTour.

Get Involved! If you have a website or blog and would like to host one of our touring authors or schedule a tour of your own, please email us at blogtour@wow-womenonwriting.com.

Book Giveaway Contest: Enter to win a copy of Beyond Belief! Just fill out the Rafflecopter form below. We will announce the winner in the Rafflecopter widget THIS Friday, August 30th.

Book Giveaway Contest: Enter to win a copy of Beyond Belief: The Secret Lives of Women in Extreme Religions! Just fill out the Rafflecopter form below. We will announce the winner in the Rafflecopter widget THIS Friday, August 30th.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Good luck!

Read More »

16 comments anthology, author interview, Beyond Belief, blog tour, book giveaway, Cami Ostman, seal press, spirituality, Susan Tive, women in extreme religions

Author Judy Mandel launches her memoir Replacement Child

& giveaway contest

Judy Mandel’s story begins years before she is born. A horrifying accident begins the string events ultimately leading to Judy’s birth and her story Replacement Child. A plane crashed into the family’s home, leaving one daughter severely burned and another dead. The death of the child leaves a hold in the family that threatens to tear it apart. In an attempt to fill the painful gap, her parents give birth to Judy, their “replacement child.”

In this powerful story of love and lies, family and hope, Judy L. Mandel tells the story of being the child brought into the world to provide “a salve for the burns.” As a child, she unwittingly rides the deep and hidden currents of her family’s grief—until her discovery of this family secret, years later, changes her life forever, forcing her to confront the complex layers of her relationships with her father, mother, and sister.

Paperback: 320 pages

Publisher: Seal Press; Reprint edition (March 5, 2013)

ISBN-10: 1580054765

ISBN-13: 978- 1580054768

Twitter hashtag: #RCmandel

Replacement Child is available as a print book at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.



Book Giveaway Contest:

To win a copy of Replacement Child, please enter using the Rafflecopter form at the bottom of this post. The giveaway contest closes this Friday, April 5 at 12:00 AM EST. We will announce the winner the same day in the Rafflecopter widget. Good luck!

About the Author:

Judy Mandel's writing life began as a reporter. She later worked in public relations and advertising and somehow found herself in corporate communications at various insurance companies, where she earned a living for 20 years. Her memoir, Replacement Child, grew out of early essays and the promise she made to her family to tell the story.

Find out more about the author by visiting her online:

Judy's website: http://www.judymandel.com/Home.html

Replacement Child website: http://replacementchild.com/Home.html

Replacement Child Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ReplacementChild

Twitter: http://twitter.com/judymandel


-----Interview by Crystal Otto

WOW: Judy, when you originally started writing your memoir what was your goal for the project? Were you initially intending to write a book for publication or did you think of it more as a personal exercise or capturing family history for your children?

Judy: I always thought of it as a book that would be published. At the same time, I looked at it as a way to give my son an understanding of who I am, and a view of how his life may still be effected by his family history.

WOW: Geneology is popular right now, what advice would you give to others as they piece together their own family histories?

Judy: I didn’t happen to use any of the geneology tools that some use, but I would say that stories emerge from the details of a family history. The general facts are usually not that interesting, it’s the individual stories of relationships that I think make for the best family histories.

WOW: What made you decide to seek publication for your story?

Judy: People have always been intrigued by the story. You read headlines like this every day. Shootings, accidents, plane crashes like the one in my book. But those people disappear from our view after a day or two. The news marches on and we lose track of the lives that have been changed forever by that news event. I felt that the long view aftermath of a tragic event, and how it changes the lives of those involved, possibly for generations, was an important story to tell.

The story of my parents struggling through the grief of losing their seven-year-old daughter, nursing their two-year-old back to health and then through years of reconstructive surgery—that was part of the story I knew would give others hope. My sister Linda, who survived the plane crash and fire, but suffered for much of her life as a result, is a story of courage that I felt a responsibility to tell. As with any courageous tale, it gives us all strength.

Then, after making the connection to being a replacement child, I also realized that my story could be helpful for other replacement children who have had no clue to the origins of some of their own personality traits and life choices. There truly is no support group for replacement children, or much recognition of their issues.

WOW: Judy, how do you feel about your place in the family after having written Replacement Child?

Judy: It is comforting to realize through the writing that I was indeed some kind of healing force, especially for my mother. My relationship with my father was complicated, but I have found peace with that as well as I understood more about what he went through. Since my sister’s Linda’s death, who died in 2009, I think I relate most to the quote from Job in the bible: “I alone am left to tell you” the story.

WOW: Was it difficult to face emotions and truths about your family while writing Replacement Child or did you find it healing?

Judy: Both really. It was almost like a magic trick that I would write my memories of certain incidents and would see a new truth emerge. When I had just begun writing and understanding some of my complex feelings toward my father, it was painful when I realized that in some way he resented me for not being his first born daughter. It was definitely a journey to come out the other side of that hurt. My mother’s secrets were not as unsettling as you might imagine. Writing through some of our times together was a pleasure that kept her with me through that part of the work. I was actually sorry to let it go.

WOW: The memoir genre is experiencing a boom in popularity. Why do you feel so many readers are drawn to memoir? Do you enjoy reading memoir and if so, do you have any favorite authors or books?

Judy: Real life is still fascinating. As they say, “you can’t make this stuff up.” In fiction, if you told some of the stories that are actually true, people would say they were too far-fetched and could never happen. In memoir, there is no arguing whether it could have happened or not, because it did! I do enjoy a good memoir. The Liars' Club by Mary Karr is my favorite. I love her down to earth, quirky voice.

WOW: You started out self-publishing your memoir. Could you tell us why you decided to go that route? Was it difficult marketing your book on your own? If you could give our readers a bit of advice you learned while marketing your book what would you tell them?

Judy: I self-published Replacement Child after I had no success finding an agent to represent it after a year of queries. There were very nice rejection letters, mostly saying they liked it but didn’t think they could sell it. I felt strongly about the book, and its potential readership, and went ahead with self-publishing. The best thing I did was to hire a professional editor. I have thirteen full revisions of the manuscript still in a cabinet in my office. And, yes, marketing a self-published book is not easy, although it’s getting easier. Since I first self-published in 2009 things have changed quite a bit. More and more are being picked up by traditional publishers, and more reviewers are open to them. My biggest piece of advice is to be persistent and pursue all avenues available for marketing a self-published book. Do your own book tour, start a blog, be engaged on Facebook and Twitter, do as much publicity as you can, or hire someone to do it.

WOW: How did you eventually hook-up with a traditional publisher?

Judy: My eBook picked up speed and sold around 14,000 copies in three months and was still selling steadily when I reached out to an agent I had met four years earlier at a writers conference. She had been receptive to the manuscript but didn’t take it on at that time. Now, with the sales coming in, she took a fresh look and sold it quite quickly.

WOW: Do you have a preference for self-publishing or traditional publishing?

Judy: Given the option, I would prefer traditional publishing. There is still a measure of credibility, still an easier road for reviews and being present in bookstores. And, I’ve had a wonderful experience with my publisher and my agent.

WOW: What are you writing now?

Judy: I’m working on a couple of projects. One is a novel, and the other non-fiction concerning replacement children.

WOW: What words of encouragement would you give someone trying to put together the pieces of their family’s history?

Judy: Start with the stories you know. If you are lucky enough to have members of your family around, pick their brains for family history details and follow the breadcrumbs. Start writing the memories that resonate with you the most. You can put things in a structure later. Write every day and revise and edit each piece until you are pleased with it as a stand-alone section or chapter.

Give yourself time. Let chapters sit for a week and then go back and look at them with a fresh eye. Read your pieces out loud. You’ll be amazed at what you find that you don’t see on the printed page. I always proof my work in hard copy and then read it out loud.

Also, try to see the arc of your story as early in the process as you can, but be patient. It may take time for it to emerge.

WOW: What or who was most helpful as you put your memoir into print?

Judy: That’s an easy one. By far, it was my husband who encouraged me and believed in me. He was my first reader for everything, even though people warned me against that. I am positive that I would not have had the faith in my writing if it hadn’t been for him. Of course, there were others who were instrumental, like my sister Linda. She had some of the information I didn’t know.

WOW: What's the most useful piece of writing advice you've ever received?

Judy: Not to expect your first draft of anything to be great. It takes editing and revising to create good writing.

----------Blog Tour Dates

Monday, April 1 (today!) @ The Muffin
Stop by for an interview and book giveaway!
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/

Thursday, April 4 @ Words by Webb
Stop by to find out what Jodi has to say about Replacement Child, a memoir about complicated family dynamics, by Judy Mandel.
http://jodiwebb.com

Wednesday, April 10 @ CMash Reads
Don't miss Cheryl's take on Replacement Child, a memoir about love, loss, and family by Judy Mandel and a chance to win your own copy!
http://cmashlovestoread.com/

Monday, April 15 @ Choices
Today is your chance to hear from Madeline about her thoughts on Replacement Child, a memoir of growing up as the replacement child by Judy Mandel.
http://madeline40.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, April 17 @ Tiffany Talks Books
Don't miss Tiffany talking about her thoughts after reading Replacement Child by Judy Mandel. This is a great memoir about family and loss.
http://tiffanytalksbooks.com

Tuesday, April 23 @ All Things Audry
Stop by to learn more about Judy Mandel, author of the memoir about family, Replacement Child.
http://www.allthingsaudry.blogspot.com

Wednesday, April 24 @ Books I Think You Should Read
Liz takes a closer look at Replacement Child by Judy Mandel, and offers you a great giveaway!
http://booksithinkyoushouldread.blogspot.com/

Thursday, April 25 @ Mrs. Mommy Booknerd
Fact or Fiction? That's the topic today with memoir writer Judy Mandel, author of Replacement Child.
http://mrsmommybooknerd.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, April 30 @ Kristine Meldrum Denholm
Today Kristine interviews Judy Mandel, author of Replacement Child, and asks the fabulous question: How do you sell a self-published book to an agent/traditional publisher?
http://www.kristinemeldrumdenholm.com/

Thursday, May 2 @ White Elephants
Enter to win a copy of Replacement Child by Judy Mandel and find out what Chynna has to say about this memoir about life, loss, and love from a child born into a family that had suffered the loss of a daughter.
http://www.seethewhiteelephants.com/

Tuesday, May 7 @ National Association of Memoir Writers
Stop by to learn more about a riveting memoir, Replacement Child, and its author Judy Mandel.
http://www.namw.org/

Friday, May 9 @ Memory Writers Network
Enjoy an interview with writer Judy Mandel and discover why she felt the need to write her memoir, Replacement Child.
http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/

To view all our touring authors, check out our Events Calendar. Keep up with blog stops and giveaways in real time by following us on Twitter @WOWBlogTour.

Get Involved!
If you have a website or blog and would like to host one of our touring authors or schedule a tour of your own, please email us at blogtour@wow-womenonwriting.com.

Book Giveaway Contest: Enter to win a copy of Replacement Child! Just fill out the Rafflecopter form below. We will announce the winner in the Rafflecopter widget this Friday, April 5.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Good luck!

Read More »

9 comments blog tour, Judy Mandel, memoir, Replacement Child, reprint, seal press, self publishing or traditional

Dancing at the Shame Prom blog tour and giveaway!

We all have shameful secrets we’ve guarded—whether they be big secrets like crimes or smaller secrets like “stealing” a teenage friend’s boyfriend—that are important only to us. No matter how the world would view them . . . to us they are important, so shameful that we keep them hidden for a lifetime. As long as we keep the secret no one gets, right? Except the secret keeper. Shame can hold you back from what you love, diminish your sense of self-worth, and prevent you from fully being who you are.

So what happens when you share the shameful secrets you’ve hidden for so long? In Dancing at the Shame Prom: Sharing the Stories That Kept Us Small (September 18, 2012, Seal Press), editors Amy Ferris and Hollye Dexter encourage readers to confront the powerful emotion of shame head-on. They gather together 27 gifted and talented writers who reveal, explore, and embrace the root of their shame, in the process demonstrating the strength that comes from defeating their demons.

In a brilliant display of bravery, these writers share their darkest fears, offer up their most vulnerable moments, and reveal jaw-dropping secrets. From spilling long forbidden secrets to revealing their innermost faults, these authors openly share poignant and life-changing moments of humiliation, embarrassment, and despair, along with the wisdom they learned from letting go of the shame that’s been weighing them down. Freeing, provocative, and audacious, Dancing at the Shame Prom is about divulging the secrets that have made you feel small so that you can stand up straight, let the shame go, and finally—decisively—move on with your life.

Are you ready to release your secret and change your life—for the better?

Paperback: 264 pages
Publisher: Seal Press (September 11, 2012)
ISBN-10: 1580054161
ISBN-13: 978-1580054164
Twitter hastag: #TheShameProm

Dancing at the Shame Prom: Sharing the Stories That Kept Us Small is available in print and e-format at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and your local bookstore.

Book Giveaway Contest: To win a copy of Dancing at the Shame Prom please enter using the Rafflecopter form at the bottom of this post. The giveaway contest closes this Friday, November 30 at 12:01 AM EST. We will announce the winner the same day in the Rafflecopter widget. Good luck!

About the Contributors:

Learn more about the 27 contributors to Dancing at the Shame Prom from their interviews and guest posts during the Blog Tour! This is a fun tour that will introduce you, not to just one or two writers, but to at least EIGHT different writers.

About the Co-Editors:

Hollye Dexter:

Hollye Dexter recently completed a second memoir, What Doesn’t Kill You. Her essays have been published in anthologies (Chicken Soup For the Soul, Answered Prayers, and Character Consciousness) and in many online publications. She writes regularly for iPinion Syndicate and AOL Patch News. A singer/songwriter with four albums out, she also founded the award-winning nonprofit Art and Soul, running workshops for teenagers in the foster care system. In 2007 she received the Agape Spirit award from Dr. Michael Beckwith (from The Secret) for her work with at-risk youth. Together, with Amy Ferris she teaches writing workshops, helping others to find their authentic voices. She is on staff for the San Miguel Writer’s Conference and a visiting author at UCLA extension. She lives in Southern California with her husband and three children, where she hikes, plays music and blogs about living an authentic life at www.hollyedexter.blogspot.com

Amy Ferris:

Amy Ferris is an author, editor, screenwriter and playwright. Her memoir, Marrying George Clooney: Confessions From a Midlife Crisis (Seal Press) is off-broadway bound, CAP21 Theater Company, March 2012. She has contributed to numerous anthologies, and has written everything from Young Adult novels to movies and films. She co-wrote Funny Valentines (Julie Dash, Director), and Mr. Wonderful (Anthony Minghella, Director). Funny Valentines was nominated for a Best Screenplay award, and numerous BET awards. She co-created and co-edited the first ever "all women's issue" of Living Buddhism magazine. She serves on the Executive Board of Directors at The Pages & Places Literary Festival, Peters Valley Arts, Education and Craft Center, and is on the Advisory Board of The Women's Media Center. She is on faculty at The San Miguel de Allende Writers Conference. She is a visiting teacher at the UCLA Writers Workshop (extension). She contributes regularly to iPinion Syndicate. Her number one goal, desire, dream: Is that all women awaken to their greatness. You can find her blogging in the middle of the night at www.marryinggeorgeclooney.com. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, Ken.

Find Dancing at the Shame Prom Online: http://www.theshameprom.com

------Interview by Jodi Webb

WOW: Can you each tell us a bit about your writing careers, how you joined forces for Dancing at the Shame Prom and how you got it published?

Hollye: I began my writing career as a songwriter (twenty years) and had just finished writing my first memoir when I met Amy through SheWrites. We became great friends and began having long weekly phone chats about life, love, fear and other things—one of the recurring topics was how shame had kept each of us small in our lives. We began blogging about our own shame stories in order to free ourselves from shame's grip, which started an avalanche of responses from others wanting to share their own stories. We decided this needed to be a book.

Amy: I began writing years and years ago. I wrote a (very) short story which got the attention of Tom Fontana who was show running a TV series, Tattingers. He hired me on the spot to write an episode. From there I went on to write films (Mr. Wonderful, and Funny Valentines) and TV series (Tattingers, and Jack's Place), and then I wrote a young adult novel, A Greater Goode (Houghton Mifflin, 2001) and my memoir, Marrying George Clooney. Hollye and I met a few years back (THANK GOD!!!!!) and we just connected on every level. Our passion was in creating opportunities for women to speak their truth, stand up. Be heard. Voila, The Shame Prom came about. I had been working with Seal Press for the past few years and both Hollye and I felt it a natural fit for a book like this. We put together a stunning proposal and they swept it up instantly. We were lucky, and fortunate to have had that experience.

WOW: Many times we take a second glance at a book because the title "grabs" us. And the title of this anthology definitely does that! How did you come up with such a unique title?

Hollye: We knew that having a provocative title would encourage readers to pick it up out of curiosity. Amy came up with the funny term of "Shame Prom" and I added Dancing so it would sound celebratory—because this book is not sad—it celebrates the richness of our lives and overcoming adversity.

Amy: Oh, Hollye was (is) such a genius. I came up with The Shame Prom while sitting in a parking lot at Walmart, and after we had put together the proposal and collected some of the essays, it was Hollye who said the title sounded a bit too sad, and instantly, like right in the minute, said: "How about Dancing at The Shame Prom? Doesn't that sound celebratory?" I mean, really, how can you say no to that.

WOW: Most of our WOW readers are also writers. Any insider tips for us on how to can be part of great project like Dancing at the Shame Prom in the future?

Hollye: The most important thing I think you can do is to be part of a writing community. I participated in writing groups and workshops for years. I also joined online writing communities (SheWrites, BlogHer, Red Room, etc). Most of my opportunities have come through people I've met within my writing community. You can't just sit home in your pajamas. You have to go to literary events, sign up for workshops, get out there and be an active participant in your community and opportunities will come.

Amy: Write. Just keep writing. Submit. Keep submitting. Rejection is part of acceptance. It's as natural as having curly hair. What I would offer up: don't be hard on yourself. Be proud that you've put pen to paper (keyboard to computer). Be proud of your words, your truth, your story. Send out to everyone and anyone. While there seems to be rules (?) nothing is written in stone. Make-up new rules. Be bold. But mostly, mostly be yourself. It's no different then having a relationship—if you're yourself, you're bound to meet up with those who fall in love with you. Write/right your life. And NEVER, EVER GIVE UP.

WOW: And now the question we've all been asking since A Cup of Comfort anthology series closed up shop—is the anthology market disappearing? If not, what makes the anthology so appealing to readers?

Hollye: The Chicken Soup franchise is still alive and well! I've had two essays picked up by them in the past year, and in fact, I love writing for them. They are the nicest group of people, and they sell so many books, my writing gets out to many more people than I could reach on my own. Amy and I have a lot of friends who both edit and write for anthologies, so no, I don't think it's dead. I say if you don't find an anthology to write for, write your own!

Amy: Anthologies are like mini-series. I think folks love the opportunity to read slices of humanity, pieces of life. You get to read (what can feel like) a whole life story in 15 pages.

WOW: Did you learn anything while editing this anthology?

Hollye: I learned how to really collaborate, for one thing, and Amy and I do that really well. I learned that every single person has a story that would blow your mind, and that every shame story is universal on some level. I also think that in sharing our truth, exposing the ways we are cracked and flawed, we open ourselves to connecting with others in much deeper and truer ways.

Amy: What I realized while working on the anthology is how much I adore working with Hollye. Ours is a very fluid, give and take relationship. Hollye is brilliant at editing, I'm great at gathering the troops. Hollye is great at anything/everything organizational, I'm great at networking and bringing folks together.

On a personal level, re: Shame, I learned that shame isn't something particularly identifiable. It has layers and layers attached to it, with many cousins: guilt, fear, and sadness. You think you conquer one aspect and then poof, another layer manifests. I also was thrilled to realize that shame is powerless once you say it's name, call it out.

WOW: What's up next?

Hollye: Amy's play, Marrying George Clooney, is going into production, and I am shopping a second memoir, but aside from that, Amy and I have workshops booked through the end of 2013, including: "Women Write Their Lives" at the San Miguel Writer's Conference.

"Rediscover Your Creative Spirit" in Costa Rica: www.RanchoPacifico.com

For more info on upcoming workshops, see www.theshameprom.com

Amy: I'm velcro-ing myself to Hollye for the next decade or so, so whatever Hollye is doing, I'm gonna be right beside her.




(Hollye Dexter talks about shame)


---------Blog Tour Dates

Monday, November 26 (today!) @ The Muffin
Stop by for an interview and book giveaway!
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/

Wednesday, November 28 @ All Things Audry
Nina Burleigh, contributor to the anthology Dancing at the Shame Prom, is posting about being a woman in the Middle East. Don't miss it!
http://allthingsaudry.blogspot.com

Wednesday, December 5 @ Kritter’s Ramblings
Check out a review of the anthology Dancing at the Shame Prom and a guest post by Marcia Yerman, a contributor to the anthology.
http://www.krittersramblings.com/

Thursday, December 6 @ Kritter’s Ramblings
Need to know more about Dancing at the Shame Prom? Check out today's review.
http://www.krittersramblings.com/

Friday, December 7 @ Eye on Books
Join us today for a conversation about shame, editing, anthologies and more with an audio interview of the editors of Dancing at the Shame Prom.
http://www.eyeonbooks.com

Tuesday, December 11 @ CMash Loves to Read
Learn more about Starting Life Over from Kate Van Raden, a contributor to Dancing at the Shame Prom. Don't forget to enter to win a copy of the anthology today.
http://cmashlovestoread.com/

Thursday, December 13 @ Thoughts in Progress
Learn how an anthology comes into being from Hollye Dexter and Amy Ferris, co-editors of the anthology Dancing at the Shame Prom.
http://www.masoncanyon.blogspot.com/

Monday, December 17 @ Empty Nest
Stop by for a review of the thought provoking anthology Dancing at the Shame Prom.
http://www.emptynest1.com

Wednesday, December 19 @ Lisa Buske
Don't miss a guest post by Kristine Van Raden, contributor to the anthology Dancing at the Shame Prom.
http://www.lisambuske.com/blog.html

Wednesday, January 2 @ Lisa Buske
Is your New Year’s Resolution to let go of the shame you’ve been lugging around? Read this review of Dancing at the Shame Prom.
http://www.lisambuske.com/blog.html

Monday, January 7 @ Read It All Book Reviews
Meet Robyn Hatcher, a contributor to the anthology Dancing at the Shame Prom, and LAST CHANCE to enter and win a copy of this amazing book.
http://readitallbookreviews.wordpress.com

Tuesday, January 8 @ CMash Loves to Read
Need some inspiration for a great 2013? Read a review of Dancing at the Shame Prom, an anthology of inspirational stories of overcoming life's challenges.
http://cmashlovestoread.com/

Thursday, January 10 @ Read These Books and Use Them!
Today Samantha Dunn, a contributor to the anthology Dancing at the Shame Prom, is guest blogging at Read These Books and Use Them! Today's topic? Surviving Poverty.
http://margodill.com/blog/

We have more dates to come, so be sure to check out our Events Calendar HERE. Keep up with blog stops and giveaways in real time by following us on Twitter @WOWBlogTour

Get Involved!
If you have a website or blog and would like to host one of our touring authors or schedule a tour of your own, please email us at blogtour@wow-womenonwriting.com. Some of our upcoming books include fantasy romance, children’s middle grade, memoir, cookbooks, and writer how-to.

Book Giveaway Contest
Contest open internationally: Enter to win a print copy of Dancing at the Shame Prom (US and Canada), and an e-copy (Internationally)! Just fill out the Rafflecopter form below. We will announce the winner in the Rafflecopter widget this Friday, November 30.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Good luck!

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8 comments Amy Ferris, anthology, blog tour, female writers, giveaway, Hollye Dexter, seal press, shame

Interview with Gerry Cofield: Second Place Winner, Spring 2008 Flash Fiction Contest!

Gerry L. Cofield’s love of stories and books started on the knee of her Paw-paw, the ultimate story-teller, when she could barely talk. She has won several contests, been published in trade magazines and The Magnolia Quarterly, and writes a weekly column for the local newspaper about the animal shelter where she volunteers (www.randolphshelter.org). She has enjoyed several classes from Gotham Writers’ Workshop, Writing It Real with Sheila Bender, and currently from The Write Helper.

Gerry’s degree is in Child and Family Development and she spent 12 years working with young children and families. Two years ago she moved to Woodland, Alabama to operate the family business of manufacturing church steeples (yes, really). Her experience working in a domestic violence shelter prompted this submission to the WOW!flash fiction contest. She finds that the rural South is a constant source of interesting and unusual characters and hopes to work her way into writing a book within the next few years if she can just narrow it down to one topic.

She enjoys traveling, baking, gardening, hiking, and volunteering for the animal shelter and a charity dedicated to serving those who have experienced tragedy (www.willsway.org). She lives with Shadow the mostly-Lab, Buddy the St. Bernarder Collie, and Luckie the German Chowbrador (don’t look for these breeds on the AKC list), as well as a fuzzy cat named Samson who snores.

She is grateful to be included amongst such talented and spirited women writers and welcomes correspondence from you at glcofield[at]Hughes[dot]net!


If you haven't done so already, please read Gerry's award winning story, Questions to a Friend, then come back to our interview with this talented and gracious writer.

*****

WOW: Congratulations on winning second place in WOW!'s Spring 2008 writing contest! How do you feel?

Gerry: Thank you. I feel honored and elated.

WOW: What a wonderful reaction. The inspiration for your story came from your experience working in a domestic violence shelter. Can you tell us about that?

Gerry: I began as a volunteer at a shelter while attending college and was later hired as the children’s advocate. It was quite educational. Domestic violence is way too common and often misunderstood. I had some harrowing experiences and, in the end, became emotionally drained. Seeing how those situations affect the children was the most disturbing part.

WOW: That would be very difficult to bear. Your help and kindness was surely appreciated. Gerry, I love the unique approach you took with the story, style-wise. Every sentence in the story is a question! How did you get the idea to create a story that way?

Gerry: Well, I wish I could take credit for coming up with that idea myself, but…. In a wonderful class with Sheila Bender (www.writingitreal.com) one of the writing prompts we were given was an experimental fiction/short-short story by Bruce Holland Rogers (www.shortshortshort.com) written in this style. I liked the intensity and brevity of it.

WOW: I've taken one of Sheila's classes as well, and loved it (Note: I had a chance to interview her for WOW!'s August 2008 issue.) Since you've won some other writing competitions, you must have a secret or two. Could you share some tips for writing contest success?

Gerry: No secrets here. I just try to learn what I can from books, classes, and conferences and by reading as much as possible. The only thing I can offer is the obvious: write what touches people and do it with style in a well-polished manner. I always read previous winners’ stories and there are many truly talented writers out there.

WOW: Great advice. You've taken several writing classes. Which ones have been your favorites and why?

Gerry: I honestly haven’t taken any classes that I didn’t enjoy and learn from. Each instructor has his/her own methods. I found that it can be uncomfortable getting used to different styles and systems, but definitely worth it to “stretch” yourself and allow the creative juices to flow. Often the other participants in the class are as important as the instructor and the material.

In the class with Sheila, I worked with the best group of ladies! We really learned a lot from each other. The Gotham Writers’ Workshop Fiction classes were very helpful as well. A big benefit of online classes is exposure to others from all walks of life and geographical areas. I’m currently working with Amy Harke-Moore (www.thewritehelper.com) in my first one-on-one class. Amy provides candid feedback- suggestions, corrections, and ideas- that I feel has improved my writing.

WOW: We'd love to know about your writing routines. For example, where do you write, and how often? Do you have any favorite rituals?

Gerry: I have a little workspace in front of a window set apart by an oriental screen at my house. My materials are spread all over an old drafting table that belonged to my Paw-paw. I truly believe it improves my creativity.

I try to write each day, but life sometimes gets in the way. My writing tends to be concentrated on the weekends. I do better in the morning after massive quantities of caffeine or when winding down in the evenings. I don’t really have any set rituals besides yelling at the dogs to stop barking so I can concentrate. I really admire the moms who write--it must be a real challenge to handle all their responsibilities and still find time to devote to writing.

WOW: It's helpful to hear about your methods, and what works best for you. Have you found inspiration from other books or authors you could recommend?

Gerry: There are so many! A particularly good book for writers, in my opinion, is Peter Selgin’s By Cunning & Craft. He does an excellent job cutting to the quick of how to produce great writing without seeming preachy or condescending- plus he’s witty.

I have a habit of buying books like crazy and then taking forever to read them. I just read my first YA fiction (since becoming an adult), Teach Me by R. A. Nelson, and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it- the characters and pace kept me reading start to finish without stopping. I’m probably behind the crowd, but I recently finished Tobias Wolff’s The Night in Question. This collection represents my favorite aspect of truly amazing short stories- the ability to provide a group of diverse and vivid tales in one book. It’s like buying a CD with many styles of music and loving each one. I’m also proud to recommend Alabama writer Ravi Howard’s novel Like Trees, Walking which is honest, tender and powerful at once.

WOW: Good recommendations, thanks. One final question, Gerry: If there was one bit of advice you could pass on to other aspiring writers, what would it be?

Gerry: I don’t feel very qualified to provide advice, but I can tell you what advice I’ve received that has been useful. Keep writing, keep submitting, don’t be afraid to try new things, do you’re best, and don’t give up. It seems that many of us women writers tend to doubt ourselves and I think that’s a shame. We have to support and nourish each other, and I think WOW has provided a wonderful opportunity for us to do that. I am just so excited to be a part of this network of awesome ladies!

Thank you, Marcia, for this interview. Please share my thanks with Angela & Annette, and the WOW staff. Everyone there does such a great job! And thank you to Wendy Sherman and Seal Press for this opportunity. This is such an honor and I really appreciate it.

*****

Every Tuesday we'll be featuring an interview with one of the top 10 winners from the Spring 2008 Flash Fiction Contest. Be sure to check back and see who's up next!

For more details on WOW! Women On Writing's current contest, please visit:http://www.wow-womenonwriting.com/contest.php

--MP

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