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There are times I haven’t wanted to own my story. But as I was attending a webinar on how to put together a social media plan from Jasmine Star, owner of the company Social Curator, I realized it may be better to focus on telling the story of who I really am. Jasmine makes no bones about the fact that she is the daughter of immigrants and went to college on a scholarship. She hustles, she says, because she wants to break that cycle of struggle for her family. I’m doing the exact same thing myself, but I’m normally to hesitant to share that part of myself with others because I’m embarrassed.
My husband had to participate in the “Privilege Walk” exercise that many colleges and workplaces are conducting, where participants learn how power of privilege affects their lives, even if they don’t realize it. He told me that based on the statements that were given out, I would have had to take multiple steps backward during the exercise. He wanted me to be mindful of that whenever I get down on myself.
Some of the directions included, "Take a step backward if:"
• If you have been divorced or been impacted by divorce (my mother was divorced twice)
• If there have been times in your life where you skipped a meal because there was no food in the house
• If you had to take out student loans to attend college
• If you were ever uncomfortable about a joke or statement you heard related to your race, ethnicity, gender, appearance, or sexual orientation but felt unsafe to confront the situation
• If you have ever felt unsafe at night walking alone
I’ve had friends who have joked with me before about how many writing gigs I take on. They wonder why I feel the need to do so much all the time. I don’t tell them it’s because I worry that I will one day go hungry again and don’t want my kids to feel like they can’t apply to the colleges of their choice. I don’t tell them that I worked my behind off all through college because I was grateful just to be there and needed to make money for basic living expenses. I realize by staying I may be doing other women like me a disservice by not speaking up.
Yes, I’m Mexican American. Yes, I had a grandmother who worked as a housekeeper for a family in Texas. Yes, I had blue collar parents who never attended college. No, I didn’t have health or dental insurance as a child. No, there wasn’t a college fund waiting for me when I graduated from high school. No, I’ve never inherited money from a relative, nor will I ever. I had terrible math grades in high school and didn’t do so well on my SATs, but I also didn’t have access to tutors that could have helped give me an edge. Reading and writing are the only things that have come to me naturally, so I’ve leaned on those skills to help me survive and accomplish the things I have.
Whether we like to admit it or not, having some of these things give us an inherent privilege over others. By speaking out and working to break the generational cycles of poverty, we can help give those who follow us a better chance at telling and triumphing over their own stories.
What's your story?
Renee Roberson is an award-winning writer and freelance magazine editor who also hosts the true crime podcast, Missing in the Carolinas. Visit her website at FinishedPages.com.
