By June Trop
Dialogue is action. It moves the story forward and demonstrates conflict, the heart of every scene. Besides, external dialogue, a character’s speech to at least one other person, and internal dialogue, a character’s thoughts, reveal personalities and relationships more efficiently and convincingly than any narrated passage.
So how can you make the dialogue you write seem authentic? Just remember you’re not trying to imitate real speech. You are, however, trying to give the impression of real speech, which is much harder.
Real speech is often boring, full of small talk, false starts, and rambling repetitive phrases. Instead, make your characters get to the point directly. Strip their speech down to the essentials. Never mind whether a sentence is complete; fragments are often better. Besides, characters interrupt each other, especially when they’re in the throes of conflict. Just make sure the idioms, grammar, speech patterns, and vocabulary uniquely reflect each character’s social class, education, and age. Even without an attribution tag like “John said,” most of the time your reader should be able to infer that John is the one speaking.
Of course, you’ll need at least an occasional attribution tag when the conversation involves more than two people or when the exchange between a pair of characters is lengthy. So, what about attribution tags?
The simplest attribution tag, “he (or Jane) said,” is best. Don’t worry about being monotonous. You want your reader to concentrate on the speech rather than the tag anyway. And at all costs, avoid using a tag that refers to a gesture rather than speech. For example, avoid tags like this: he snarled, she laughed, or John grinned. Snarling, laughing, and grinning are not ways of saying anything. Instead, intensify the spoken words or add a gesture to emphasize the speaker’s emotion. Change “‘I think you are being silly,’ Jane laughed,” to something like this: “‘That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever—’ Jane said, choking with laughter.”
If you find yourself writing a solid paragraph of dialogue, then break up the passage. For example, insert a sentence to call attention to a change in the setting, such as a door slamming, or a character’s shift in posture, such as crossing her legs. Another option is to rewrite the passage as a series of shorter exchanges between the characters.
Finally, read your dialogue aloud to check that it sounds natural and rework the parts that don’t. We read with our ears as well as our eyes. Hear your writing come alive as you use more dialogue and less narrative to tell your story.
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As an award-winning middle school science teacher, June used storytelling to capture her students’ imagination and interest in scientific concepts. Years later as a professor of teacher education, she focused her research on the practical knowledge teachers construct and communicate through storytelling.
Now associate professor emerita at the State University of New York, June devotes her time to writing The Miriam bat Isaac Mystery Series set in first century CE Roman Alexandria. Her most recent book, The Deadliest Returns (Level Best Books, 2024), is a collection of three nail-biting novelettes. If, like Miriam, you thrive on pursuing the twists and turns of a baffling mystery while uncovering the guilty longings, secrets, lies, and evil deeds of others, then, as Miriam’s deputy, you will have ample opportunity to engage your curiosity and escape into that world of adventure.
June, an active member of the Mystery Writers of America, lives with her husband Paul Zuckerman, where she is breathlessly recording her plucky heroine's next life-or-death exploit. She’d love to have you to visit her at www.JuneTrop.com or on her Facebook page, June Trop Author, where she publishes a blog every Tuesday afternoon about life in Roman Alexandria.
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Dialogue is action. It moves the story forward and demonstrates conflict, the heart of every scene. Besides, external dialogue, a character’s speech to at least one other person, and internal dialogue, a character’s thoughts, reveal personalities and relationships more efficiently and convincingly than any narrated passage.
So how can you make the dialogue you write seem authentic? Just remember you’re not trying to imitate real speech. You are, however, trying to give the impression of real speech, which is much harder.
Real speech is often boring, full of small talk, false starts, and rambling repetitive phrases. Instead, make your characters get to the point directly. Strip their speech down to the essentials. Never mind whether a sentence is complete; fragments are often better. Besides, characters interrupt each other, especially when they’re in the throes of conflict. Just make sure the idioms, grammar, speech patterns, and vocabulary uniquely reflect each character’s social class, education, and age. Even without an attribution tag like “John said,” most of the time your reader should be able to infer that John is the one speaking.
Of course, you’ll need at least an occasional attribution tag when the conversation involves more than two people or when the exchange between a pair of characters is lengthy. So, what about attribution tags?
The simplest attribution tag, “he (or Jane) said,” is best. Don’t worry about being monotonous. You want your reader to concentrate on the speech rather than the tag anyway. And at all costs, avoid using a tag that refers to a gesture rather than speech. For example, avoid tags like this: he snarled, she laughed, or John grinned. Snarling, laughing, and grinning are not ways of saying anything. Instead, intensify the spoken words or add a gesture to emphasize the speaker’s emotion. Change “‘I think you are being silly,’ Jane laughed,” to something like this: “‘That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever—’ Jane said, choking with laughter.”
If you find yourself writing a solid paragraph of dialogue, then break up the passage. For example, insert a sentence to call attention to a change in the setting, such as a door slamming, or a character’s shift in posture, such as crossing her legs. Another option is to rewrite the passage as a series of shorter exchanges between the characters.
Finally, read your dialogue aloud to check that it sounds natural and rework the parts that don’t. We read with our ears as well as our eyes. Hear your writing come alive as you use more dialogue and less narrative to tell your story.
* * *
Now associate professor emerita at the State University of New York, June devotes her time to writing The Miriam bat Isaac Mystery Series set in first century CE Roman Alexandria. Her most recent book, The Deadliest Returns (Level Best Books, 2024), is a collection of three nail-biting novelettes. If, like Miriam, you thrive on pursuing the twists and turns of a baffling mystery while uncovering the guilty longings, secrets, lies, and evil deeds of others, then, as Miriam’s deputy, you will have ample opportunity to engage your curiosity and escape into that world of adventure.
June, an active member of the Mystery Writers of America, lives with her husband Paul Zuckerman, where she is breathlessly recording her plucky heroine's next life-or-death exploit. She’d love to have you to visit her at www.JuneTrop.com or on her Facebook page, June Trop Author, where she publishes a blog every Tuesday afternoon about life in Roman Alexandria.
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