Congratulations to Katie Youmans from Lincoln, Nebraska for her moving nonfiction essay titled:
Check out Katie’s submission, as well as all the other and then stop back here to read Katie Youman’s engaging interview with Crystal J. Casavant-Otto from WOW! Women on Writing.
Katie’s Bio:
Katie is a STEM academic librarian who writes short stories, poetry, and creative nonfiction inspired by lived experiences and the quiet, profound moments of everyday life. She has previously been a finalist in the WOW! Women on Writing Creative Nonfiction Essay Contest and Flash Fiction Contest. This is her first published work.
Today's interview was penned by Crystal J. Casavant-Otto ...
WOW!: Thank you for being here with me today Katie and thank you for writing such a personal essay. Let’s get right down to it!
Thank you for writing such a moving and honest essay – what is the take-away you’d like readers to gain from reading Under the Boat?
Katie: Under the Boat is a memory I tried to capture, for mostly myself, so I could incorporate it into my understanding of the world and who I am in it. I think that for many years my experiences with Dawn made me feel ashamed and confused – especially in the early years when I was also struggling against principles of conservative Christianity. However, as I have continued to grow and accept every part of myself, I must also accept and bring this summer of Dawn with me in a way that acknowledges the confusion and illicitness of the moment, without judging or shaming who we were and what we did together.
My own experience of submitting this story and having it published with WOW! is that I have been able to share it with people close to me who didn’t know about this experience. It’s been a connection point for people to feel seen and to feel like they see me better as well. I hope that this story does the same for other readers; that they see me and feel seen themselves, even if they still don’t exactly understand who they are and what they want.
WOW!: Where do you write? What does your space look like? I’m also wanting to know more about your profession as a STEM academic librarian and how does your job support and/or inspire your writing of short stories, poetry, and creative nonfiction?
When it comes to my work space as a STEM Librarian, I do have my own office on campus, and I have worked pretty diligently to make it welcoming and comfortable. I collect art from independent local artists wherever I travel, and then add it to my collection on my office walls. I have a rotating themed collection of fiction books in one corner of my office to spark people’s interest (and also just because I love doing it). The theme for this summer is DRAGONS. I have a lounge chair with a footrest shaped like a mushroom and a tableau of 3-D printed creatures in one corner of my desk that I sometimes rearrange into different interactive scenes. Creating these spaces has served as a great outlet for self-expression.
While my position as a STEM Librarian does not afford me much opportunity to engage my creative writing muscles in my work, the great thing about working in a library and on a college campus is that there is never a shortage of creatives and opportunities to connect. I am still relatively new to this university so I haven’t found any writing groups, but I have managed to find poetry slams and readings to attend that celebrate the creativity that my local area has to offer.
WOW!: Do you have advice for your younger self when it comes to making decisions, believing in yourself, and/or writing? What would your current self say to the younger you?
Katie: I have often judged and shamed my younger self for decisions she’s made or things she wasn’t brave or smart enough to try at the time. Yet somewhere along the way I realized how hateful and unfair this was, and my apology has been to create a life that she would be proud to claim.
This has manifested in my affording her opportunities for joy and self-indulgence. I own and defend the things she likes to do, even if they aren’t popular, trendy, or fun for anyone else. I have gone back and breathed life into dreams that she had dismissed as impossible. I have become brave for her in ways she was never able to even consider.
If it weren’t for trying to live for my younger self, I would be stuck in a carousel of customer service jobs that I hated instead of becoming the Librarian I am now. I would be trapped in the town I grew up in instead of having lived abroad as well as in every time zone in the US. I would be caught in an unfulfilling relationship and afraid to start over instead of trying something new even if it was terrifying. I would have kept a little essay about a snapshot of my childhood to myself instead of submitting it to a writing contest that has now made me, for the first time, a published writer.
I talk to my younger self all the time – part of my journaling and self-talk includes checking in with her, and reporting back on all the ways we’ve triumphed and failed and tried again. In this way, I don’t see myself as someone who has wisdom to give my younger self; I am constantly looking back to her to gain perspective and approval to carry on.
As the saying goes, there are only two people in this world you need to make proud – your 8-year old self and 80-year old self, and if those two are happy with your life, you did it right. Living this out is actually crazy as hell sometimes – 8-year olds are impulsive and 80-year olds act like they’ve got nothing to lose – but for me, it’s given me more reason to live a curious and adventurous life with few regrets. Life has been easier in the past, but I have never been happier than now.
WOW!: I love that you’ve taken these experiences and used them to be more curious and adventurous. As someone who works with children quite often, being curious is so important for growth! Speaking of growth, has journaling and/or writer’s groups played in your writing or life?
Katie: Admittedly I have not engaged in many writing groups; I have just never found one where I felt connected with the other members. I do, however, have a long history with journaling. I started keeping a journal when I was about 11 and wrote almost daily until about halfway through my undergraduate years. The habit fell off for some time, but in the last 5 years I have picked it up again, and I would say that it’s been a boon in a lot of ways. The world has changed so radically in the last decade, and journaling has been a very grounding activity that helps to process the escalating changes. Also, periodically going back to read what I’ve written is always illuminating – I am constantly surprised by the choices I made over what I did and did not choose to write in a given moment in time.
I think journaling – and specifically journaling with paper and pen in a physical journal – is a lost practice that more people could really benefit from. Unlike blogging, vlogging, or posting on social media, journaling is an intimate and private experience, the act of which takes more time and effort than typing or pushing ‘record’ and speaking. Journaling requires more thoughtfulness and focus, and it allows the writer to further reflect on what they really think and believe as they are formulating the words for it. Slowing down is hard sometimes, but it is necessary on a physiological level for our nervous systems to regulate and to better manage our emotions. I am obviously a big believer in the power of journaling and recommend it to any who would listen!
WOW!: I was just saying something similar in one of my courses - I think young students can benefit from journaling (especially during puberty when things seem so complicated). We should have a separate interview all about the power of journaling for youth and adults!
For today though, our time has come to an end. Thank you so much for sharing your time and talent with us Katie, it has been an absolute pleasure to interview you and find out more! I look forward to chatting with you more in the future!
Crystal Casavant writes. Everything. If you follow her blog: Bring On Lemons you have likely laid eyes on every thought she has ever had. The world may never know her name, but she prays that because of her, someone may smile a little brighter. She prides herself on doing nice things - yes, even for strangers. She is always up for a challenge whether it’s living in the basement, living on a boat, or buying a dairy farm! You never know where she’ll turn up next or what she’ll be doing, but it’s guaranteed she’ll be having fun!
