Showing posts with label conquering writing fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conquering writing fears. Show all posts

Talk to Your Younger Writer Self and Change the Dialogue In Your Head

Saturday, June 01, 2019
by dee & tula monstah on flickr.com
The other day, I heard a very interesting interview with a mental health professional, Dr. Celeste Holbrook, who said that she often talks out loud to her younger selves when she is feeling scared, stressed out, nervous, or any range of emotions that hinder her from doing her best, enjoying her life, or taking chances. She says something like: “Younger self, I want you to know that I acknowledge these feelings you are having right now and that you are trying to protect me. But I got this. I can do this. Let’s do it together. Let’s overcome this fear of public speaking and give this speech. These people want to hear what we have to say.”

Then I read  an article about the Game of Thrones actor Kit Harington, who played Jon Snow, and how he had to check into a mental health retreat center to learn how to be more mindful and change the dialogue that was in his head. He was mentally exhausted, and he had work to do on himself.

And both of these stories got me thinking that as writers we need to be mindful and talk to our younger selves all the time! Because if anyone suffers from self-doubt or fear of rejection or a lack of creativity due to criticism or any of the thousands of other things that can cause writer’s block, it’s us!

So join with me and help our younger selves (whether it’s something that happened to you last year or when you were five years old) get in check and stop making us feel like we can’t write, we will never get published, or no one likes our published stuff. For some of you out there marketing your work, you may need to change the dialogue in your head when you're on a podcast or giving a keynote speech or going on a blog tour.

Here’s an example from my own life: “Margo, young newbie writer,  I hear you and I acknowledge that the books you already put out into the world did not sell millions of copies like Harry Potter. But the people who did read them and left reviews seem to have really enjoyed them. Some people have even asked for you to write more. I know it’s hard to put the time and energy into writing more books for kids when you are constantly competing with Scholastic book fair. But this does not mean that you don’t have something worthy to say. So maybe we can join together and stop finding everything else to do in the house, such as cleaning out closets and re-organizing KT's room, and finish that picture book sequel and the other picture book that you could self-publish with the illustrations you have. You can do it. We can do it. Let’s get started.”

Just by typing this and reading it out loud--I already feel calmer. I'm ready to get to work!

Now at first, you might feel silly talking to yourself like this. But I recommend really talking to yourself aloud. And if you're worried what your family members or neighbors might think, don’t worry--you're probably already thought of as that really cool, "different" writer gal that lives next door. And besides, there's a younger version of yourself that you can tell to stop worrying about what other people think because your self-worth is based on you, not someone else's opinion!

Happy writing!

If you want to take the WOW! Writing a Novel With a Writing Coach class this summer that Margo teaches, go here to sign up (Classes start either June 7, July 5, or August 2). She is offering Muffin readers a special deal with the class--for the price of $130, you can choose to a) do the traditional class of 4 sections of 4500 words or less of a novel or book-length work in one month b) deal #1 which is turning in a section every two weeks--for writers who can't make the weekly deadline c) deal #2--five sections in one month for the price of four--for writers who have a chunk of a novel already done and need some help and feedback. Sign up, and Margo will email with you to decide what works best for you! To find out more about Margo, go to her Editor 911 site here
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The Writing and Cable Company Connection

Thursday, August 03, 2017
Every month when I open my cable bill, I seethe.

I pay for about two hundred channels, but I probably watch about ten of those channels. The problem for me is sports; I have to have those channels, mostly for football season. I know there are other options available now, but fear keeps me paying that always-increasing, monthly cable bill. Fear of making a mistake, of doing something wrong, of not really knowing what I’m doing and what if I miss my football games?

Fear can stall a writing career, too. Maybe it’s whether to try for an agent (or let go of an agent who’s not working out). It could be about pitching to big markets instead of staying safely in the smaller markets. It could even be as fundamental as finally putting work out there, of just screwing up the courage to submit.

But there are ways to get beyond that fear, and so I’ll share a few strategies that work for me, starting with doing your homework.

Who knew when you finally finished school that you’d be using that homework skill for the rest of your life? In whatever decisions that come along, researching first is empowering. When it comes to writing, we’re lucky. We have the Internet, and boy, that makes researching a lot easier!

Find out everything about the writing challenge you’re tackling. Track down every snippet of information you can find whether it be a market, a literary agency, a publisher, or editor. Not in a creepy stalker way, just in a general information-available-to-everyone way. Knowledge is the first step in conquering a fear, and so the more you know, the more emboldened you will be!

And that leads me to the next step in information-gathering: ask people in the know. Take the cable question. Lots of people that are, say, millennial types, do not pay for cable. They use all kinds of streaming services. They’re the ones I’ll talk to before I make any changes.

Look around to the people you know in the writing world, the groups you’re part of in social media or through writing organizations, or even your writing partners. Perhaps you follow lots of writing blogs; you can reach out to those writers, too. Chances are pretty good that a writer’s faced the same questions and challenges you’re facing; look for answers. You may not always get the help you’re looking for, but sometimes, you will!

And finally, consider timing. Weeks before the start of the college football season might not be the right time for me to switch from my huge cable company.

It’s the same for you in your writing career. What other major life changes do you have going on, and is this the right time to pile on something huge and/or new? Because what if you do your homework, ask around, conquer your fear and go for it—and find success at last? You want to be ready one hundred percent!

Or you’ll end up with another fear, the one about failure. And that’s a whole ‘nother story.


Cathy C. Hall is a kidlit author and humor writer.  When she's not cheering for her favorite teams, she's busy working on her next book. Her latest release is Great Leaders of the World, from Darakwon Publishing in South Korea. (Read all about it here!)


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