Fake It 'til Make It

"Fake it 'til you make it!"

That is the motto of a close friend of mine and, considering they started a successful business in their 20s, I'm happy to take it.

Too often I find myself worrying that I can't write well enough, don't know enough about a topic or am competing against scads of people who are just better at this writing game than I am. But then I have to give myself the "Fake it 'til you make it" pep talk.

I think the problem is that I am basically a shy person who tends to downplay myself and my experiences. I continually need to remind myself that if I don't believe in myself, why would anyone else?

The first editor to accept my writing to include in a book had no idea that I had never been in an book OR written about baseball before. My baseball experience began and ended with attending Little League games and rooting for the Phillies whenever they made it to the playoffs. But in the end the editor loved my piece so much that he invited me to pitch for other - non-baseball related - books.

My students in my first writing class had no idea that normally my classes involved multiplication tables and conjunctions (during my stint as a elementary school substitute teacher). But that first class led to additional workshops and talks.

My first advertising client had no idea that just the week before I was dong something very different. They just placed their month long advertising campaign in my hands. A year later some of my advertising work was submitted for an award. I didn't win but hey, it's an honor just to be nominated.

As writers, we're the first line. We have to believe in ourselves if we want anyone else to believe in us. Confidence in my writing abilities had made amazing things happen for me. I've contacted authors, organizations, destinations with requests for an interview, tour, vintage photo and they've happily agreed. Every time I'm amazed all over again that they would agree to do this for me! I tend to gloss over the fact that we're working together - that they're getting something too (publicity for their business, a chance to tell their story, a new connection).

Writers have to exude confidence in interviews, pitch meetings, networking events. Everything about us has to say "I can do this!" Even though there's a part of you that's whispering, "Can I do this?"

Yes, it's difficult. But do it. Believe in yourself! And store up all those amazing things that happened just because you took a chance. You can use them in your pep talk if you're ever feeling down.

What was the last amazing thing to happen in your writing career just because you asked?

Jodi M. Webb writes from her home in the Pennsylvania mountains. After a decade hiatus from writing, she is back with bylines in Tea Journey, Mental Floss and a WIP about her plant obsession. She's also a blog tour manager for WOW-Women on Writing. Get to know her @jodiwebbwrites , Facebook or Words by Webb.

Read More »

1 comment confidence, Jodi M. Webb, networking, writing tips

Friday Speak Out!: What You Need To Become a Writer: Tips From Author Anna Quindlen

by Claudine Wolk

I adore books about writing. The whole process is fascinating to me. How thrilling is it to write a book and then see it published and sold? As a reader, I am fascinated with the writing process as well. I wonder how the author came up with their idea and how they developed the skill to keep readers intrigued. Two of my favorite books by authors about the writing process is Stephen King’s On Writing and Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird. When I heard that author Anna Quindlen was coming to Doylestown to my town speak and had a book out about writing, Write for Your Life, I purchased a ticket immediately.

I arrived at the Life Science’s building on my local university’s campus just as the sun was setting on an April evening. Clusters of girlfriends and a few couples hurriedly approached the entrance doors, so I knew I was in the right place. Once the audience was seated, Ms. Quindlen was promptly introduced and led to two single seats at center stage.

All About Writing and Why It Is a Lost Art

For the next few minutes, Quindlen encouraged the audience to write. “Where would we be without the diary of Ann Frank,” she mused? “How will the people who come after us know us if we no longer write and leave them something?” “Email and texts are great,” she said, “but the Letters of Albelard and Heloise they are not.” “Writing is so important, she intoned, “because it’s a lost art.”

Quindlen talked about her teachers. Said she would not be a writer without them. She spoke about how lucky she feels to be able to earn a living by writing and that she has a son who is a writer but he has another occupation to make ends meet.

She talked about her relationship with her editor. Her editor is excellent and she listens to her editor. Her editor makes her books better. Even when Quindlen writes a passage she loves, if it does not move the story forward, it is taken out!

She talked about the movies that have been made from her books, meeting Meryl Streep and how surreal it was to be on a set that looked exactly like she had imagined it as she wrote about it. She shared that she feels that the movie versions of her books were true to her books and that she was pleased that the movies share the same title.

She also commiserated that as a NY Times, Pulitzer Prize winning columnist, her columns were sometimes criticized for not being true while at the same time her fiction novels are often suspected as being true. The audience chuckled at that revelation.

Aspiring Writer Audience Members Ask Questions of Quindlen

A question-and-answer session was introduced by the host and the audience warmed up after the first brave soul raised her hand.

An aspiring writer asked how to make her writing less “weird? “Weird is good,” Quindlen said. “Weird sells.”

Questions of Quindlen’s writing process followed. She was asked: How do you write - in outline form? Where do you write - a separate room and separate house? Do you need complete peace and quiet?

One audience member pleaded for advice. “I have written a whole bunch of stuff and I don’t know how to put it into story format?” Quindlen suggested to get it all down first and trust that a story flow will emerge.

Another audience member asked how she could make a living from writing. “Don’t count on it,” chuckled Quindlen.

Another asked about her memoir research and shared, “Each of my family members gave me a different version of the same story, which one should I pick?” “The beauty of being the writer is that you get to pick the version of the story that works for you,” Quindlen soothed. “All versions are true.”

One audience member seemed in actual pain as she asked her question. She lamented that she felt she could not write unless she was away from her kids and husband alone in a cabin for hours at a time. Only then did she feel that she would be able to write. Quindlen was gentle with her and explained that she didn’t have the issue of young kids these days but the demands of motherhood were an issue for her years ago. Quindlen’s solution was to write when her kids went to school from 9:00 am when she dropped them off to 1:00 when she picked them up. To this day, she told us, those are her writing hours.

What You Need To Become a Writer

Finally, and for the second time that evening, Quindlen uttered a word that I believe is the key to becoming a writer.

Confidence

Maria Von Rapp famously sang about confidence in The Sound of Music, “I have confidence in sunshine, I have confidence in rain, I have confidence that spring will come again, because which you see I have confidence in me!” You must have confidence to be a writer. You must have confidence that what you write is good enough to be written down, read by someone else, and out there in the world.

Anna Quindlen admitted to the audience that she musters confidence every time she sits down to write.

As she revealed this last admission, I felt the shoulders of the aspiring writers in the audience start to relax. As we gathered our things at the end of the presentation, my fellow audience members confessed that they were inspired to start writing. I was too.

* * *

Claudine Wolk is an author, podcast host, and radio host. Follow her substack newsletter Get Your Book Seen and Sold or visit ClaudineWolk.com. Claudine lives with her husband, Joe, in Bucks County, PA and is working on her next book.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Read More »

Leave a Comment Anna Quindlen, author talk, Claudine Wolk, confidence, Friday Speak Out!, Inspiration, writing advice

Confidence and Imposter Syndrome: Why Do We Suffer?

Man, imposter syndrome is so real. Let me tell you a couple recent anxiety-filled moments I had, and how I've gotten over them--or have I?

photo from Flickr.com by Alan Levine

I'm teaching a course for WOW! right now that I'm absolutely loving. It's about how to write middle-grade and young adult fiction. I have written and been traditionally published in both. I am a certified English teacher of 1st through 9th grades. I read this genre to my daughter and for my own pleasure. I had a book review column for six years for a mid-size newspaper. I edit novels for a living, and many people have gone on to indie or traditionally publish them. And still, STILL, I wonder: am I qualified to teach this course? I want to say this to myself right now:

OMG! What is wrong with you?

The other day, I felt like I had validation from an outside source. In the WOW! course, my students start their novel writing process with a tagline and book cover summary as well as picturing where in the bookstore or on the Amazon "bookshelf" their book would fit. My philosophy is before spending months on a book, figure out your goals and if you want to be published, where readers will find your books and whether they will want to read it. Is your book about something? You have to think of the story hook (the tagline) and where readers will find you. I know this is good advice, and it's helped me with my own writing. But I was doubting myself when teaching the class.

Maybe we shouldn't have started this way, I thought. Maybe we should have begun with planning the novel using Save the Cat.

But then I was listening to the lastest Self-Publishing Show podcast with Mark Dawson and James Blatch. They also offer classes, and they get good reviews just like we do at WOW! I know that the information they share on their podcast is "right," and it matches what I hear and read on other sites, including WOW!. (Why do I trust them and not myself?!?) But until I heard one of them say that it's smart to start with your book cover and tagline before you even write a word, I hadn't felt confident that I was correct to start this way when teaching my class. As I was listening to that episode, I even said out loud to myself (or to the dog, as we all know she is hanging on my every word): "So I do know what I'm talking about. I should be more confident in my abilities and teaching."

This week, I was also worried about some advice I gave to a picture book author. (Right now, there's a lot of time at home, folks, alone with our thoughts, right?) Let's look at my credentials: I have a picture book traditionally published. I have been to countless workshops on picture books. I have read hundreds of picture books, new and old. I know the trends. I offer a picture book package on my Editor-911.com site, and one of my picture book clients recently secured an agent who sold the book to a publisher! (This is very exciting. It's almost like I have my own agent when a client is successful!) I know I help people take their ideas and make them better. But still I worried: Am I giving her the right advice?

Sometimes, I think the fact that I do worry is what makes me a good editor. If I thought I knew it all, then I wouldn't study and think about clients' work long after I shut down my computer.

But I'm still irked at myself for needing this outside validation. But isn't that true for most writers?  I thnk it's why we take rejection and bad reviews so personally and can't stop obsessing about them, even if we have 500 good reviews. I'm not sure if it's true for most editors, but it's true for me. And I'm working on having more confidence in my years of experience, repeat clients, good reviews, and so on. Having confidence is not boastful. It's not bragging. It's just understanding that I know what I'm talking about and I have the knowledge and skills to educate and help others reach their goals.

Here's to confidence and kicking imposter syndrome out the door!

Margo L. Dill is teaching the MG/YA class she mentioned above in the fall. You can sign up whenever. But she's teaching the WOW! novel writing course for any genre now, and the next one is on May 1. You can find that syllabus at the link. To find out more about Margo, go to www.margoldill.com. 

Read More »

3 comments book editing, confidence, imposter syndrome, middle grade and young adult novel, picture book writers, young adult authors

Friday Speak Out!: Reclaim Your Writing Life

by Kathryn Schleich

As almost every author knows, a writer’s life can suck. The rejections pile up, and you start to doubt your abilities, and whether you possess an iota of talent. With over 100 rejections for one book alone I wrote less and less, until I wasn’t writing at all.

What inspired me to make fundamental changes in my writing life? Bluntly speaking, my age and health. I’m pushing 60 and have Crohn’s disease. The painful side-effects from the medication often served as just another excuse not to write.

No one knows how much time they have, but I made a conscious decision that if I was going to write, it was now or never. I dusted off several short stories, found an editor willing to work with me through WOW, and got published twice with interest expressed in a third piece. With my confidence bolstered through being published, I’ve written eight new stories and completely reworked my novel.

Here are tips that helped me reclaim my ability to write and may work for you as well:

• Pay attention to a publisher or agent who offers specific suggestions to improve your work. Just one publisher taking the time to give me feedback on my novel set me on the path to reworking it.

• Don’t be afraid to take risks. Last April I participated in an Author’s Guild sponsored auction and won the chance to have my manuscript reviewed by an industry professional. This September I’m heading to New York City to meet with him.

• Take another look at some of those old stories. If they’ve already been edited, find another editor to read your work. Different perspectives and encouragement can send you in a new and better direction you may never have considered.

•Research potential markets carefully when submitting your work to contests or publications to be sure they are a good fit for your work. Too often, I haphazardly entered contests that weren’t the right match.

• Find a way to deal with the barrage of rejection, so you can rise about it. For example, I have found it cathartic to experience the act of shredding paper rejections or the satisfaction of hitting delete.

• Maintain notes on all agents queried, but particularly those who reject your work. This puts you more in control. Some examples: an agent that makes time to write a personal note is someone I will contact again with future projects. If the rejection is a form letter, the chances of further contact diminish. And, if the letter is copied many times over, that agency won’t be queried again.

• Find what inspires you, continually hone your skills, and keep writing!

* * *

Kathryn Schleich is the author of two editions of the book, Hollywood and Catholic Women: Virgins, Whores, Mothers and Other Images, which evolved from her master’s thesis. The self-published work was a finalist in the 2012 Indie Book Awards. The first edition was used as a textbook in the Religious Studies Program at the University of South Carolina beginning in 2007.

In May 2017, Schleich’s short story, “Grand Slam,” was published in The Acentos Review and Zimbell House Publishing featured her story “Reckless Acts” as part of its After Effects Anthology this August. Schleich also writes non-fiction articles on women in film, collecting antiques, women’s heart health, Crohns disease, and the environment. She is currently seeking agency representation for her mystery/suspense novel, Salvation Station.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Read More »

7 comments confidence, dealing with rejection, Friday Speak Out, Kathryn Schleich, writer inspiration, writers tips, writing life

A Grown-Up Girl's Guide to Liking Herself?

Dear Reader,

Being a grown up can be hard. A recent conversation with a friend went as follows:

Friend: "I wish there was some sort of book we could give these girls that would help build their confidence and self esteem."

Me: "There is - I remember seeing one somewhere and I think it was an American Girl book or something. Hang on while I look it up on my phone."

Friend: "really? there is something like that?"

...we chatted, drank coffee, chased toddlers, and a few moments later...

Me: "Here it is and there's a lot of different titles to choose from, but I just ordered A Smart Girl's Guide to Liking Herself - Even on the Bad Days - I'll send you a link on Facebook."

A few days go by and the book arrives. I gave it to my 9 year old daughter and I believe my friend ordered her 9 year old daughter a copy too. My daughter is enjoying the book and I've been reading it along with her. This got me to thinking, shouldn't we create something like this for ourselves?

Seriously readers - isn't being a grown up just as difficult as being a young lady (or even more so)?

What advice would you give for the following:

* What can I do to trust myself more and stop doubting my talents and abilities?

* What can I do to be a better friend to myself?

* What can I do to make the bad days a little less daunting?

* How can I take better care of myself (body mind and spirit)?

* What are some ideas for things I can do to cheer myself up when I feel blue?

* How can I be more thankful?

Maybe there is a book out there, or maybe a blog? I think as mothers, we focus so much of our energy on helping our children accept and love themselves that sometimes we forget that the some acceptance and love is important in our busy lives too. I may have begun reading this book to help my daughter, but it really is helping me more than she knows.

Please share your thoughts and ideas in the comments and maybe it will inspire some future posts and ideas on how we can do a better job liking ourselves. No comments are silly - so post away! Thanks in advance!

Crystal is a church musician, babywearing mama (aka crunchy mama), business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Publicist with Dream of Things Publishing, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Manitowoc County, Wisconsin with her husband, four young children (Carmen 9, Andre 8, Breccan 2, and Delphine 1), two dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, a handful of cats and an abundance kittens (who are available for adoption by the way), and over 230 Holsteins.


You can find Crystal riding unicorns, taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other stuff at:http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/ and http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/

Read More »

1 comment being positive, confidence, hard days, like yourself, liking yourself, self esteem, trust

You Got This!

As I was contemplating what I would write, I realized instead of writing something intentionally profound, I would just share with you a little story and then we can talk about how this can be applied in your writing life. Here goes…

cheddar herb bread cooling

We live on this great farm in rural Wisconsin. We are a family of six. I hate shopping (yes, even grocery shopping). Now that we have that out in the open, you’ll understand the next statement: I make as much as I can here at home, so I never have to leave. Really at truly, that’s my life. We make our own hand soap, laundry soap, dish soap, dish washing soap, baby wipes, and I even cloth diaper in order to avoid having to make the weekly trek to the store to spend a small fortune on something that will fill our landfills. Some people think I’m ambitious, but those who know me understand I’m pretty lazy.

The one thing I’ve never been able to make at home is bread. Even when following time tested traditional family recipes, mine falls flat … literally …

My husband and children love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and I’ve mastered the art of making jellies and jams, I buy peanut butter in bulk, but every few days I found myself at the grocery store buying more bread. It frustrated me. (Did you see I used past tense there? The good part is coming!)

I took a bread making class and learned how to make bread. Watching a real live person make it, and being able to touch it, smell it, etc… somehow helped it all make sense. I went home and immediately found myself making gorgeous loaves of bread. I made them alone, and then showed my 8 year old how to do it. She turned around and made her own loaf of bread last evening. I wasn’t even in the room and she mastered it!
Did my teacher cast a spell on me? Was that spell contagious? Why did this all of a sudden go from being something I dreaded to something I enjoy enough to teach others?

It was three little words spoken to me:

YOU GOT THIS!

For the first time in my bread baking life, I wasn’t saying “on my – this is going to turn out badly”, I kept hearing Angie (my teacher) telling me YOU GOT THIS! And that positive self-talk along with some fabulous recipes and simple tips and tricks, took me from frustrated to fabulous! I was then able to instill that same confidence in my daughter. What a great gift to receive, and it really got me thinking about ways I can spread the message and encourage others.

What is holding you back from writing that novel? From sending out those queries? From starting that blog?

Whatever it is, let me tell you this:

YOU, YES YOU! I’M TALKING TO YOU!

YOU GOT THIS!

Show some love and leave some comments telling me what it is you are going to do this week simply by believing in yourself!

P.S - if you ask nicely, I may share my bread recipe with you!

Hugs,
~Crystal

Crystal tandem babywearing Delphine and Breccan 

Crystal is a church musician, babywearing mama, business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Publicist with Dream of Things Publishing, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Reedsville, Wisconsin with her husband, four young children (Carmen 8, Andre 7, Breccan turning 2 later this week, and Delphine 7 months), two dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 230 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other stuff at: http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/

Read More »

2 comments being kind, confidence, learning curve, making bread, profound, self talk, you got this

Why Entering Contests Boosts Writing

When I took my first fiction writing course in college, the professor compared our weekly writing assignments to a contest. On Mondays, we received a word count and a theme. During class time, each of us roadmapped a perfect plot, played with character development, created a distinct mood.

On Friday, we handed our (usually) handwritten stories to the person on our left for their consumption (or condemnation, depending on the student). Occasionally, we'd read aloud to the rest of the class. By the following Monday, professor would select a winning story of the week and share it with us.

I never won. But, this method of instruction - hours filled with nothing but writing and honing the craft - provided one of the greatest lessons about the writing contests: competition develops writing skills.

Why should YOU enter a writing contest? I'll share four lessons I learned:

1. Guidelines offer focus. Writing within parameters forces you to focus on your message. Word baggage is eliminated and the piece forms a tightly-written story. A theme provides focus, but it does not limit your imagination. Creativity in plot and word choice are limitless! Even genre-specific contests let you stretch your writing prowess by crafting a new world or twisting history.



2. Attitude is everything. Did I stop writing when I didn't win in class? Heck, no. I never gave up. Instead, the competition and my lack of "prized success" pushed me to develop my craft by tuning in to what wasn't working in my stories. I never viewed those works as failures. They just weren't what the instructor was looking for. A positive attitude makes a difference, and I was positive to continue trying!



3. Contests give writers permission to write. If you're set on entering a contest, you've given yourself permission to schedule time to write. Sometimes outside forces control the amount of time we dedicate to our craft, but knowing you have a deadline and plan to enter your best work gives you the say-so to make time to write.



4. Writing increases confidence. I've entered several poetry contests and I've experienced some success. It's a confidence boost! Even when I didn't win the grand prize, I made fantastic discoveries: what judges are looking for, what writing styles do or don't work, how other writers approach the challenge. These lessons also boost belief in my work.

Entering a writing contest may be a big step for a writer, but it's an action that will enhance your writing.

by LuAnn Schindler. Read more of LuAnn's work at her website. Graphic design by LuAnn Schindler

Read More »

8 comments attitude, confidence, Contest, contest entries, focus, focusing, lessons learned from entering contests, LuAnn Schindler, permission to write, time, writing contest, writing time

Faking It

We recently had a discussion in the Premium Green subscribers group about confidence, courage and faking it when you need to. At times, many of us have had the feeling of being an imposter; of wondering whether we should really call ourselves artists or writers, or feeling not quite worthy of the writing assignments we seek, or even obtain.

Creativity coach Dave Storer has some helpful thoughts on feeling like an imposter. He reminds us that we have to grow into any new role that we take on, writing or otherwise. For awhile, we may need to act more confident than we feel we have a right to.

"…the best philosophy to live by is 'fake it 'til you make it.' That's true whenever you enter into any kind of new identity. It happens when you graduate and start your first 'real' job, it happens when you change overnight from a worker to a boss; it happens when you get married or when you have your first child. These are times when you just have to grow into your role before the identity involved seems completely real to you, let alone those around you."

'When I say 'fake it 'til you make it,' what I should more accurately say is, 'even though your chosen creative identity feels unreal somehow, if you keep doing it—keep working at your art with all your heart and muscle—sooner than you think, you will be perfectly comfortable with that identity and so will most everyone you know.' The identity comes from the doing of it."*

Several members of the PG group seem to have taken this approach, utilizing the "fake it 'til you make it" motto in any new endeavor until they felt "legitimate." If you're an aspiring writer (or a writer taking on bigger challenges), the key is to just keep on doing, taking action and making progress. You will get more and more comfortable over time, but as with any new role, you grow into it.

--MP


*from Inspiring Creativity: An Anthology of Powerful Insights and Practical Ideas to Guide You to Successful Creating, edited by Rick Benzel, M.A.

Read More »

1 comment confidence, courage, Marcia Peterson, writing, writing tips