I’m a person who is very goal oriented, and have been all my life. It’s why I do well with writing and editing sprints, such as National Novel Writing Month. They include firm deadlines and I get a rush from the adrenaline of the intense focus and fast pace. It’s probably why I also excelled at my former job of being a magazine editor, because we worked under similar conditions. That position also caused me a great deal of anxiety due to a lack of staff support, but that's another story!
In September, I left my job as a magazine editor so I could focus solely on ramping up my podcast and writing fiction. But last night, when I ran into a block putting together my latest podcast episode, I let it bother me too much. I admitted I will not be able to produce an episode this week, by Friday at least, and I felt like a failure. I have the idea and framework for the next two episodes, but something is keeping me from moving forward.
I felt like I should have bounced back after completing those book revisions and write the usual long-form script. Depending on how you look at it, I’m fortunate because I don’t have regular sponsors to keep me on a regular production schedule. That’s also unfortunate, because it allows me to slack off when I have a few of these “negative self talk” days. My husband tried to tell me to give myself grace because I’ve been working hard and consistently writing, even if it feels like I’m not “achieving” things on the pace that I would like. I think the fact that I now have to design my own podcast website after the designer I hired fell through is also weighing on me.
I’m taking things one day at a time right now. My daughter, who went off to college seven plus hours away this year, will be home tomorrow for her winter break. I’m going to embrace her being home, read a good book, plan some quality family time, and put together a game plan for the podcast, book launch, and another book revision for early spring. Things are looking up, even if that voice in my head tries to tell me they are not.
How do you combat negative self talk and still find a way to complete creative projects? I'd love to hear your strategies!
Renee Roberson is an award-winning writer and host/creator of the true crime podcast Missing in the Carolinas.
