Showing posts with label Judy Mandel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Judy Mandel. Show all posts

You May NOT Have Cake Right Now

Monday, July 31, 2017
I just got done chatting with a lovely friend. We had a great laugh because as you know, today is Monday and she's human and like the rest of us dreads Mondays. She and her husband were talking about how they would love to take Monday off and enjoy another family day. I said something I have a feeling I'll be using again:

" It's like dessert. 
If you don't eat the broccoli too, dessert isn't quite as sweet.
You need the contrast. The balance."

Isn't that good? As soon as I said it I thought I must write this down. Then I thought of how it applies to my writing life. I love reading and promoting the work of other authors. I also love writing, but it's more difficult with a house full of children, a job, responsibilities, etc... Reading has become my cake and writing has become my broccoli. They are both equally delicious, but one of them is going to get me to my goal much quicker than the other. In the case of food, broccoli is going to help me slim down and feel great. In the case of writing, I'm going to feel much better once I finish my novel. It's no longer going to be 'yet another project Crystal started'.

Who is going to help me stay on track? Who is going to help me by saying in a firm yet loving voice:

"You May NOT Have Cake Right NOW!"

Here's where you come in dear reader and writer friends. Share your wisdom with me. Several authors have already been gracious enough to help me by answering the question of how they balance their writing life with their real life, but I want to hear from you too - please leave a comment with what works for you. And while you're thinking about that, feel free to share in the wisdom from these amazing author friends of ours here at WOW!

David Berner was asked: How does real life fit into a writer's life? As part of his recent tour for his latest book "October Song", he responded:

David: I don’t see them as separate things. A writing life is a ‘real’ life. It is central to much of my everyday existence. Do I write each day? Not always. But if two-three days go by without writing, I get antsy. Like working out or walking the dog, I try to make it part of my daily life. Even if it is not on a specific project, I write. I put down words. Sometimes they are not worthy words, but they are essential to get me to that next level. That next project, that next story, the trick sometimes is “training” those you love, those in your life, that writing – going off on your own to think and write – is not some vacation or getaway. It’s your work, your calling, your inner peace. It’s important for me to write to be the best person I can be. I truly believe that, so, I write. And it’s not an off-shoot of my real life, It is my life.

Donald Dempsey was asked: What words of encouragement would you give someone trying to put together their memoir or story? As part of the book blog tour for his original memoir "Betty's Child". He responded: 

Donald: Don’t be afraid to let it rip. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Just let it out and read it later. You can always edit and tidy up the emotional content at some point, but most of what readers seem to like about my book wrote itself.




Judy Mandel was asked:What's the most useful piece of writing advice you've ever received? as part of her WOW! Women on Writing launch of "Replacement Child". She responded:

Judy: Not to expect your first draft of anything to be great. It takes editing and revising to create good writing.




All these great tidbits of advice for such lovely author friends. Thank YOU dear reader in advance for the tips and ideas you'll leave in the comments - your support and encouragement (as well as your readership) mean so much to all of us here at WOW!



Crystal is a council secretary and musician at her church, birth mother, babywearing cloth diapering
mama (aka crunchy mama), business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Publicist with Dream of Things Publishing, Press Corp teammate for the DairyGirl Network, Unicorn Mom Ambassador, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband, four young children (Carmen 10, Andre 9, Breccan 3, Delphine 2, and baby Eudora due this fall), two dogs, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 230 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal riding unicorns, taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other stuff here, and at her personal blog - Crystal is dedicated to turning life's lemons into lemonade!

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Author Judy Mandel launches her memoir Replacement Child

Monday, April 01, 2013
& giveaway contest

Judy Mandel’s story begins years before she is born. A horrifying accident begins the string events ultimately leading to Judy’s birth and her story Replacement Child. A plane crashed into the family’s home, leaving one daughter severely burned and another dead. The death of the child leaves a hold in the family that threatens to tear it apart. In an attempt to fill the painful gap, her parents give birth to Judy, their “replacement child.”

In this powerful story of love and lies, family and hope, Judy L. Mandel tells the story of being the child brought into the world to provide “a salve for the burns.” As a child, she unwittingly rides the deep and hidden currents of her family’s grief—until her discovery of this family secret, years later, changes her life forever, forcing her to confront the complex layers of her relationships with her father, mother, and sister.

Paperback: 320 pages

Publisher: Seal Press; Reprint edition (March 5, 2013)

ISBN-10: 1580054765

ISBN-13: 978- 1580054768

Twitter hashtag: #RCmandel

Replacement Child is available as a print book at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.



Book Giveaway Contest:

To win a copy of Replacement Child, please enter using the Rafflecopter form at the bottom of this post. The giveaway contest closes this Friday, April 5 at 12:00 AM EST. We will announce the winner the same day in the Rafflecopter widget. Good luck!

About the Author:

Judy Mandel's writing life began as a reporter. She later worked in public relations and advertising and somehow found herself in corporate communications at various insurance companies, where she earned a living for 20 years. Her memoir, Replacement Child, grew out of early essays and the promise she made to her family to tell the story.

Find out more about the author by visiting her online:

Judy's website: http://www.judymandel.com/Home.html

Replacement Child website: http://replacementchild.com/Home.html

Replacement Child Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ReplacementChild

Twitter: http://twitter.com/judymandel


-----Interview by Crystal Otto

WOW: Judy, when you originally started writing your memoir what was your goal for the project? Were you initially intending to write a book for publication or did you think of it more as a personal exercise or capturing family history for your children?

Judy: I always thought of it as a book that would be published. At the same time, I looked at it as a way to give my son an understanding of who I am, and a view of how his life may still be effected by his family history.

WOW: Geneology is popular right now, what advice would you give to others as they piece together their own family histories?

Judy: I didn’t happen to use any of the geneology tools that some use, but I would say that stories emerge from the details of a family history. The general facts are usually not that interesting, it’s the individual stories of relationships that I think make for the best family histories.

WOW: What made you decide to seek publication for your story?

Judy: People have always been intrigued by the story. You read headlines like this every day. Shootings, accidents, plane crashes like the one in my book. But those people disappear from our view after a day or two. The news marches on and we lose track of the lives that have been changed forever by that news event. I felt that the long view aftermath of a tragic event, and how it changes the lives of those involved, possibly for generations, was an important story to tell.

The story of my parents struggling through the grief of losing their seven-year-old daughter, nursing their two-year-old back to health and then through years of reconstructive surgery—that was part of the story I knew would give others hope. My sister Linda, who survived the plane crash and fire, but suffered for much of her life as a result, is a story of courage that I felt a responsibility to tell. As with any courageous tale, it gives us all strength.

Then, after making the connection to being a replacement child, I also realized that my story could be helpful for other replacement children who have had no clue to the origins of some of their own personality traits and life choices. There truly is no support group for replacement children, or much recognition of their issues.

WOW: Judy, how do you feel about your place in the family after having written Replacement Child?

Judy: It is comforting to realize through the writing that I was indeed some kind of healing force, especially for my mother. My relationship with my father was complicated, but I have found peace with that as well as I understood more about what he went through. Since my sister’s Linda’s death, who died in 2009, I think I relate most to the quote from Job in the bible: “I alone am left to tell you” the story.

WOW: Was it difficult to face emotions and truths about your family while writing Replacement Child or did you find it healing?

Judy: Both really. It was almost like a magic trick that I would write my memories of certain incidents and would see a new truth emerge. When I had just begun writing and understanding some of my complex feelings toward my father, it was painful when I realized that in some way he resented me for not being his first born daughter. It was definitely a journey to come out the other side of that hurt. My mother’s secrets were not as unsettling as you might imagine. Writing through some of our times together was a pleasure that kept her with me through that part of the work. I was actually sorry to let it go.

WOW: The memoir genre is experiencing a boom in popularity. Why do you feel so many readers are drawn to memoir? Do you enjoy reading memoir and if so, do you have any favorite authors or books?

Judy: Real life is still fascinating. As they say, “you can’t make this stuff up.” In fiction, if you told some of the stories that are actually true, people would say they were too far-fetched and could never happen. In memoir, there is no arguing whether it could have happened or not, because it did! I do enjoy a good memoir. The Liars' Club by Mary Karr is my favorite. I love her down to earth, quirky voice.

WOW: You started out self-publishing your memoir. Could you tell us why you decided to go that route? Was it difficult marketing your book on your own? If you could give our readers a bit of advice you learned while marketing your book what would you tell them?

Judy: I self-published Replacement Child after I had no success finding an agent to represent it after a year of queries. There were very nice rejection letters, mostly saying they liked it but didn’t think they could sell it. I felt strongly about the book, and its potential readership, and went ahead with self-publishing. The best thing I did was to hire a professional editor. I have thirteen full revisions of the manuscript still in a cabinet in my office. And, yes, marketing a self-published book is not easy, although it’s getting easier. Since I first self-published in 2009 things have changed quite a bit. More and more are being picked up by traditional publishers, and more reviewers are open to them. My biggest piece of advice is to be persistent and pursue all avenues available for marketing a self-published book. Do your own book tour, start a blog, be engaged on Facebook and Twitter, do as much publicity as you can, or hire someone to do it.

WOW: How did you eventually hook-up with a traditional publisher?

Judy: My eBook picked up speed and sold around 14,000 copies in three months and was still selling steadily when I reached out to an agent I had met four years earlier at a writers conference. She had been receptive to the manuscript but didn’t take it on at that time. Now, with the sales coming in, she took a fresh look and sold it quite quickly.

WOW: Do you have a preference for self-publishing or traditional publishing?

Judy: Given the option, I would prefer traditional publishing. There is still a measure of credibility, still an easier road for reviews and being present in bookstores. And, I’ve had a wonderful experience with my publisher and my agent.

WOW: What are you writing now?

Judy: I’m working on a couple of projects. One is a novel, and the other non-fiction concerning replacement children.

WOW: What words of encouragement would you give someone trying to put together the pieces of their family’s history?

Judy: Start with the stories you know. If you are lucky enough to have members of your family around, pick their brains for family history details and follow the breadcrumbs. Start writing the memories that resonate with you the most. You can put things in a structure later. Write every day and revise and edit each piece until you are pleased with it as a stand-alone section or chapter.

Give yourself time. Let chapters sit for a week and then go back and look at them with a fresh eye. Read your pieces out loud. You’ll be amazed at what you find that you don’t see on the printed page. I always proof my work in hard copy and then read it out loud.

Also, try to see the arc of your story as early in the process as you can, but be patient. It may take time for it to emerge.

WOW: What or who was most helpful as you put your memoir into print?

Judy: That’s an easy one. By far, it was my husband who encouraged me and believed in me. He was my first reader for everything, even though people warned me against that. I am positive that I would not have had the faith in my writing if it hadn’t been for him. Of course, there were others who were instrumental, like my sister Linda. She had some of the information I didn’t know.

WOW: What's the most useful piece of writing advice you've ever received?

Judy: Not to expect your first draft of anything to be great. It takes editing and revising to create good writing.

----------Blog Tour Dates

Monday, April 1 (today!) @ The Muffin
Stop by for an interview and book giveaway!
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/

Thursday, April 4 @ Words by Webb
Stop by to find out what Jodi has to say about Replacement Child, a memoir about complicated family dynamics, by Judy Mandel.
http://jodiwebb.com

Wednesday, April 10 @ CMash Reads
Don't miss Cheryl's take on Replacement Child, a memoir about love, loss, and family by Judy Mandel and a chance to win your own copy!
http://cmashlovestoread.com/

Monday, April 15 @ Choices
Today is your chance to hear from Madeline about her thoughts on Replacement Child, a memoir of growing up as the replacement child by Judy Mandel.
http://madeline40.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, April 17 @ Tiffany Talks Books
Don't miss Tiffany talking about her thoughts after reading Replacement Child by Judy Mandel. This is a great memoir about family and loss.
http://tiffanytalksbooks.com

Tuesday, April 23 @ All Things Audry
Stop by to learn more about Judy Mandel, author of the memoir about family, Replacement Child.
http://www.allthingsaudry.blogspot.com

Wednesday, April 24 @ Books I Think You Should Read
Liz takes a closer look at Replacement Child by Judy Mandel, and offers you a great giveaway!
http://booksithinkyoushouldread.blogspot.com/

Thursday, April 25 @ Mrs. Mommy Booknerd
Fact or Fiction? That's the topic today with memoir writer Judy Mandel, author of Replacement Child.
http://mrsmommybooknerd.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, April 30 @ Kristine Meldrum Denholm
Today Kristine interviews Judy Mandel, author of Replacement Child, and asks the fabulous question: How do you sell a self-published book to an agent/traditional publisher?
http://www.kristinemeldrumdenholm.com/

Thursday, May 2 @ White Elephants
Enter to win a copy of Replacement Child by Judy Mandel and find out what Chynna has to say about this memoir about life, loss, and love from a child born into a family that had suffered the loss of a daughter.
http://www.seethewhiteelephants.com/

Tuesday, May 7 @ National Association of Memoir Writers
Stop by to learn more about a riveting memoir, Replacement Child, and its author Judy Mandel.
http://www.namw.org/

Friday, May 9 @ Memory Writers Network
Enjoy an interview with writer Judy Mandel and discover why she felt the need to write her memoir, Replacement Child.
http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/

To view all our touring authors, check out our Events Calendar. Keep up with blog stops and giveaways in real time by following us on Twitter @WOWBlogTour.

Get Involved!
If you have a website or blog and would like to host one of our touring authors or schedule a tour of your own, please email us at blogtour@wow-womenonwriting.com.

Book Giveaway Contest: Enter to win a copy of Replacement Child! Just fill out the Rafflecopter form below. We will announce the winner in the Rafflecopter widget this Friday, April 5.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Good luck!
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