Today, I'm excited to announce a special reader review event with Wanita Koczka. Our readers will share their thoughts about her heartfelt creative non-fiction, Courage and a Castle. You'll also have a chance to win a copy of this fantastic book!
But first, here's more about Wanita's book:
Offering a unique and compassionate look at the human condition, this book opens with a poignant story about the author’s mother, Mary, near the end of her life and then reaches back to where Mary's memory no longer can.
The book explores Mary's strength of character and strong work ethic that served as cornerstones for her future. Early in her marriage to the love of her life, she became the sole breadwinner for their family of eight. Through family tragedies and life-threatening conditions, Mary met life's challenges with abiding faith, resilience, and kindness.
Despite being severely affected by a brain bleed and later Alzheimer's, Mary adapted, and her spirit, faith, and unconditional love remained constant. A heartwarming, inspirational, and, at times, humorous account of a life well lived, a life that inspired and touched many.
Publisher: Wood Dragon Books
ISBN-10: 1990863957
ISBN-13: 978-1990863950
ASIN: 1990863957
Print Length: 304 pages
About the Author, Wanita Koczka
Like her mother, Wanita cherishes family time, Christmas, and family celebrations. She is a results-oriented woman who takes pride in her hard work and the value she adds to both her family and work life. Her most significant achievement is earning a Bachelor of Social Work while working full-time and raising three children. It took her ten years of night and summer classes to obtain her degree, which was crucial to her career advancement.
Follow the author online on Facebook.
Interview by Ellen LaFleche Christian
WOW: What made you decide that your relationship with your mother was something to explore in a memoir rather than fiction or another form?
Wanita: The short answer is that my mother was an inspiration to me, and her life was so compelling and significant that I didn’t need to invent anything. So creative nonfiction memoir was a perfect match for what I wanted to write.
As I started writing, I had to research how to craft a memoir.
While doing that, I realized I wanted to create what I would call an unconventional memoir.
I had to break free from the traditional elements of memoir. I became adept at writing outside the box, even though it was my first work.
The history behind my decision to write a tribute to my mother is that I retired at age 68 in 2020, at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic.
My mother, Mary, passed away on May 5, 2021, during the pandemic.
The last seven years of my mother's life, she lived in a personal care home in Prince Albert, near me.
We spent a lot of time together.
She passed away at my acreage, a place she felt comfortable and regarded as a retreat, with my two sisters and me caring for her. We felt blessed.
I felt robbed because I couldn't spend time with her as I had planned.
After her death, I experienced deep loss and grief, and I wondered how to fill the time my mother once occupied.
It came to me that I had always wanted to write. I thought, okay, I can write.
But what should I write about? I’ve always heard that one should write what they know.
It then occurred to me that I should write about my mother's life.
I felt very fortunate to have such a mother.
I decided to honour her by writing a book that celebrated the qualities that made her a remarkable woman of strength and to share her story with others.
I believe it was my mom’s gentle nudging that led me to start writing. It might have surprised her that I chose her as the subject.
Courage and a Castle, reflects my perspective on my mother's life and serves as a tribute to her well-lived life.
WOW: How did writing about your mother shift your understanding of her—either as a woman, a parent, or a person outside of those roles?
Wanita: I was fortunate to have resource material in the form of a series of personal video interviews my daughter conducted with her grandmother, my mother, in the early 2000s.
I watched them several times, took notes, and identified themes from her own words about what was impactful and memorable in her life.
From the invaluable videos of my mother discussing her life and my understanding of her experiences, I began writing stories and events that depicted her remarkable journey. I gained a deeper appreciation for her courage, strength, and resilience, as I came to understand her path more fully.
I came to understand that her original plan in the early 1940s was simple: to work hard and become the mother of a large family with the love of her life, my father. She did not aspire to have a career or be the family breadwinner. However, she took on roles that were uncommon for women at the time in the interest of our family.
When tragedy and hardships struck, she did not play the victim nor complain that her life did not go as planned. Instead, she embraced change. I better understood that, because of her dedication to family and unconditional love, she re-imagined her life. I came to understand that despite her hardships, she lived a life of faith that was joyful and fulfilling. I admire that.
My mother was a very humble and wise woman, accepting others and open to change. As I wrote her story, I reflected on my relationship with her and realised she was the glue and facilitator of our family. It struck me that she practised what she preached, in that she said each of her children had different needs and knew and tried to meet those needs. This didn’t mean they all received the same treatment; rather, she aimed to give them what they needed, not only as children but as they became adults, because she believed mothering was a lifelong commitment.
I came to realize that her perspective on life and motherhood is that of a very wise woman.
I gained a deeper understanding of my mother's work ethic as I explored its importance to her and our family, and the gift of her strong work ethic that she passed on to her children. I recognized how her hopeful thoughts about Castle on the River - the Bessborough Hotel, entered her life differently than she imagined, not as a princess but as a vital part of the hotel's operation and as her financial cornerstone as the breadwinner of the family.
As I wrote, themes emerged, and I also realised that my mother was a fun-loving, witty, and adventurous woman, which I hadn't fully appreciated in the past. Although I couldn't recount all the stories of Mom and her own family, as well as her relationship with my father's family, I saw more clearly that she thrived on the relationships they had with them. I realized she wanted to replicate those feelings of fun, adventure and home within her own family, and that was challenging for her, given all the obstacles she faced.
For me, sharing my Mom’s story affirmed that she was a remarkable woman, ahead of her time. I became even more inspired by my mother's life as I wrote.
WOW: Were there stories or memories you chose not to include? How did you draw the line between what belonged in the book and what remained private?
Wanita: At times, I found it difficult to stay focused on my mother's story. She was a central part of our lives growing up and as adults, and it was hard not to veer off into other directions. There were interesting details about other family members' involvement that had to be left out, as the book would have become too large and turned into a comprehensive account of the entire family of eight, and extended family members, rather than just focusing on Mom. For instance, her own family and my dad’s family were close-knit, and while the reader learns this, the specific details could not be included.
WOW: Memoirs often bring up questions of perspective and truth. How did you handle moments where your memories conflicted with others’ recollections?
Wanita: As I have already mentioned, Courage and a Castle is an unconventional memoir written as a tribute to my mother.
I present my perspective alongside what I believe to be my mother's perspective.
When I was unsure about some details of events or interactions, I consulted family or others to deepen my understanding. I considered their information and perspectives, staying true to the tone of the writing and respecting others' memories of the event. For example, I shared a story with a cousin, and he responded that he recalled the event exactly as I had written it. On another occasion, I shared an excerpt with another cousin, and she correctly advised me that the information I had about her mother was not accurate. I made the necessary changes.
Conversations with family were always interesting because their special moments with Mom and experiences with her differed from mine. As I have already noted, I couldn't include all of their treasured moments in my book. However, the family agreed that we were fortunate to have had such a mother and appreciated that I chose to write a tribute to our mother and her remarkably well-lived life.
WOW: What do you hope readers—especially those navigating complicated relationships with their own mothers—will take away from your story?
Wanita: I hope readers will experience that Courage and a Castle offers a heartfelt and compassionate perspective on the human condition.
Often, a person or a couple, like my mom and dad, have dreams they hope to achieve together, and life doesn’t always go as planned. As my mother did, sometimes one must re-imagine oneself and their life plan as life unfolds… as it should, as my mother believed.
The events described in my book reflect the courage, faith, and values my mother upheld.
Her unconditional love, acceptance, and openness to change are defining aspects of her life. For readers who share a similar positive relationship and view of their mothers, it will evoke treasured memories.
Those who lack a positive, inspiring maternal influence can benefit from hearing my story about my remarkable mother.
I hope readers will understand that despite the challenges my Mom faced, through the phases of her life into old age with Alzheimer's, her innate optimism and faith guided her, giving her the courage to live a fulfilling life.
I hope her story inspires others to find the courage to do the same.
Another aspect is that of place and time, as this book captures a snapshot of her life during that era, illustrating small-town Saskatchewan Prairie life where many young folks starting out in the 1940s moved to the big city to pursue their dreams together.
We see, for example, the history and significance of the Bessborough Hotel, built during what was called the Dirty Thirties, as well as how it later became a cornerstone in our family's life.
I trust that readers will see that, across different time periods, people still face adversity and are able to overcome life's challenges, aging with grace and dignity.
Readers will experience that, over time, the nature of our relationships with our dear mothers evolves. Initially, my mother confidently fulfilled the roles of wife, mother, family member, and worker. As she aged and faced health conditions, including Alzheimer's, she transitioned from caregiver to care receiver. This is a role most mothers are not comfortable with. I trust that readers will take away the message that, despite the changes in roles between mothers and daughters, there is value, respect, dignity, and fulfillment in the lives and relationships between mothers and their daughters. And in my mother's case, unconditional love for family, joy of life and faith are endearing qualities.
It affirms that there is hope, joy and fulfillment in life, even if one's life plan is altered.
What WOW's Readers Thought
Jodi says: I am not a big reader of memoir but a friend encouraged me to take a peek at Wanita Koczka's love letter to her mother, indeed to her whole family. I appreciated the strong links this family shared and how the author carefully revealed those relationships as well as the unflagging strength of her mother in the face of many adversities. No matter what your background, I feel any reader will identify with this family. They struggled, they tried to improve their life, they loved, they laughed, they sang.
It was divided into short but complete vignettes from throughout the life of the author's mother. These detailed musings brought this story to life. Bath night, the views from the beautiful Castle on the Hill, their mother's little habit or tapping her toes to music. They all created vivid pictures in my mind as I read. More than just being an inspiring story of a family's love perhaps it will also serve as another kind of inspiration. Inspiration to capture the stories of our own families.
Nicole says: What a beautiful book! The author did such a wonderful job capturing the life of a woman who remained true to her faith and her family while facing life's challenges with a heart of love. This is a true treasure of a daughter's love for her mother. What I love about memoirs, especially ones like these, is you really get a close inside look at someone's life and the ups and downs we rarely ever get to see. I'm so honored to have read it and that the author shared it with the world.
Charity says: This book is a divine labor of love. It truly is a remarkable story about a remarkable woman. It is a delightful tribute and a pleasure to read. Readers are honored to be brought into the world and life she lead. This is a well written book with true impact. The point of view of this memoir adds to the power of the words being written and read along with the pictures that tell the story.
It was written with vivid thought and captured the love of a family member perfectly. Even if you usually don't read this type of book it might be the one to start with as it has heart, love and is written in a way that draws readers into every aspect of this remarkable woman's life put into words. Inspiration may be what happens to readers to start writing their own family's stories too.
Katherine says: I was very absorbed by the synopsis, but the book itself was even more impactful. I identify with the challenges of having had a brain bleed, as I was born premature, and have severe disabilities resulting from one.
This memoir was told in a way that reflects love and devotion. The author had a great idea to write it.
The first person point of view was so powerful.
I really enjoyed this memoir and think it shows Mary's life in a clear and engaging way. I liked getting to know John and how he and Mary found love.
I think the book creates great awareness of the consequences of brain bleeds and their resulting disabilities, as well as of Alzheimer's. It also creates great awareness of the care system and what it's like to live in a care home. I am glad Mary was well cared for, as there are so many people who have such different experiences.
There are so many themes: love, care and being cared for, memories, good times, hard times, and the importance of life's experiences.
5 stars, but it deserves more. It's outstanding and so memorable.
Angela says: Courage and a Castle by W.J. Koczka is a deeply moving memoir that captures the essence of family love, resilience, and the unbreakable bond between a mother and her daughter. The author takes us on an intimate journey, reflecting on the life of her mother, Mary, and the challenges she faced, including Alzheimer’s. Anyone who has been a caregiver will relate to the compassion, hardships, and joyful moments that come with caring for loved ones with debilitating conditions. There were moments that mirrored my own caregiving experience with my father-in-law and his Alzheimer’s, like not being able to visit him in a care home during COVID, and her mother’s vision of The Man in Red which reminded me of my father-in-law’s visions near the end of his life, and so much more. Stories like this are important to share, and I wish I’d had this book before going through the experience to provide understanding and comfort. What makes this book exceptional is the author’s heartfelt portrayal of Mary’s enduring strength and love, even in the face of adversity.
The author’s insight into her mother’s life is something many writers spend years cultivating. Mary instilled the values of hard work and education in her children, and she was committed to their success. There were fun childhood memories, like the family fishing trips, birthday and Christmas celebrations, and her brother’s adventure with the stray dog that made the local paper. The rich history of the Bessborough Hotel, or Castle on the River, where Mary worked, and eventually, how her employment became crucial, as Mary became the primary breadwinner. Her careful planning and full-time employment allowed the family to make a big move into a new home that would better serve their lives. It’s clear that Mary’s positive outlook and guidance were their family’s foundation.
Through life’s turning points, the author weaves a rich tapestry of stories, and her genuine respect for Mary’s legacy is felt on every page. The intimacy of the writing makes readers feel as though they’ve been part of Mary’s journey. Ultimately, this beautifully-written memoir reminds us of the power of storytelling to preserve the legacies of those we love and the importance of honoring the lives that shape us.
Ellen says: Courage and a Castle by Wanita Koczak is a heartfelt and honest portrait of a daughter’s love for her mother. The story begins near the end of Mary’s life and gently moves back through the memories that shaped her. The author writes with warmth and respect, showing how Mary’s strength and work ethic built the foundation for her family’s future. It’s a quiet, powerful book about resilience, compassion, and the lasting impact of character. Thoughtful and deeply moving.
***** BOOK GIVEAWAY ****
Open to US residents for a print copy. Enter to win the memoir Courage and a Castle by Wanity Koczka! Fill out the Gleam form below for a chance to win. The giveaway ends November 9th at 11:59 pm CT. We will randomly draw a winner the next day via Gleam and follow up via email. Good luck!
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