What is Abantu?
Years ago, poet Robert Hass taught a short couplet form that he had read was an oral tradition among the Abantu people of Africa. In class, he recited this couplet:
The sound of an elephant’s tusk cracking
The voice of an angry man
The sound of an elephant’s tusk cracking
The voice of an angry man
It was an example of the oral poetry that the Abantu tribe members created as they worked. One person offered an image and another would respond with a an unrelated image that when paired with the first one provided a sensory experience. The participants created something like similes (the sound of an elephant’s tusk cracking is like the voice of an angry man).
Whether you imagine that the elephant’s tusk breaks as a consequence of the animal knocking into a tree or that the cracking is the noise the tusk causes when the elephant uses it to fell a tree, the sound has a tangible meaning when compared to the voice of an angry man.
Try creating sound, sight, taste, touch, smelling and hearing related images for a first line of an abantu couplet:
Clothes fresh from the dryer
Clothes tumbling in the dryer
Clothes going into the dryer
Next “answer back” to these lines with an image that creates the same physical sensation you got from the first line:
Clothes fresh from the dryer
Patch of carpet where my cat lies in sunshine
Clothes tumbling in the dryer
Leaves and paper blown by the wind
Clothes going into the dryer
Seaweed lying on the beach
Try some more with these first lines:
The cornflakes in my bowl
Waiting for the school bus
Kids eating in the cafeteria
Sitting at my desk
The lights in the ceiling
Lockers along the hallway
Here are some sample responses:
The cornflakes in my bowl
Sand bars in a bay
Waiting for the school bus
A jellybean out of the bag
Kids eating in the cafeteria
Undulating kelp
Sitting at my desk
Piloting a space craft
The lights in the ceiling
Egg cartons in the supermarket
Lockers along the hallway
An army waiting
If most of the images turn out to be visual in content (which most often happens at first) try putting sound or smell into your work instead of relying totally on visual images and likenesses:
My mother’s voice
Water in a fountain
My baby’s cry
Siren’s behind our car
The star jasmine at night
Powder on a baby
Bubble gum out of the wrapper
The plastic skin of a Barbie doll
Taste may be harder:
A cracker with no butter
Brown paper bag in my mouth
The rubber bands on my braces
Piloting a space craft
The lights in the ceiling
Egg cartons in the supermarket
Lockers along the hallway
An army waiting
If most of the images turn out to be visual in content (which most often happens at first) try putting sound or smell into your work instead of relying totally on visual images and likenesses:
My mother’s voice
Water in a fountain
My baby’s cry
Siren’s behind our car
The star jasmine at night
Powder on a baby
Bubble gum out of the wrapper
The plastic skin of a Barbie doll
Taste may be harder:
A cracker with no butter
Brown paper bag in my mouth
The rubber bands on my braces
Tofu
Sometimes the sense of touch needs practice. You can do that with first lines about textures:
My wool hat on my head
Blades of dry grass
Touching the skin of a dolphin
The smooth part of the peel under an eggshell
The rough skin of an orange
Stucco on a building
Developing facility with association, you foster new ways of looking at, touching, smelling, tasting and listening to the world. It keeps the writing mind oiled and ready to go:
I went downstairs for breakfast. My mother had put cornflakes in a bowl for me and I poured milk over the brown flakes. They peeked out of the milk, sand bars in the bay where my father used to take me fishing.
A beginning to a story about fishing with Father.
Valuing associational thinking both encourages good writing and the spirit of play essential in its creation.
Sometimes the sense of touch needs practice. You can do that with first lines about textures:
My wool hat on my head
Blades of dry grass
Touching the skin of a dolphin
The smooth part of the peel under an eggshell
The rough skin of an orange
Stucco on a building
Developing facility with association, you foster new ways of looking at, touching, smelling, tasting and listening to the world. It keeps the writing mind oiled and ready to go:
I went downstairs for breakfast. My mother had put cornflakes in a bowl for me and I poured milk over the brown flakes. They peeked out of the milk, sand bars in the bay where my father used to take me fishing.
A beginning to a story about fishing with Father.
Valuing associational thinking both encourages good writing and the spirit of play essential in its creation.
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--Sheila is also a WOW! Women on Writing instructor. Her class, Writing the Hermit Crab Essay and Other Related Creative Nonfiction Forms, starts on September 19th! Reserve your spot here.
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1 comments:
What a great exercise for writers, like me, who write their first few drafts without the senses. I'm so weak in that area, I'll have to try this. It should improve my writing quite a bit. Thanks!
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