Take it Easy on Yourself

A glimpse of the wildfire smoke from earlier last week.

I wish I had advice for you. I wish I had the key that would unlock the ability to write despite every storm going on around you (or within you). Yet, this past week has been a doozy and I thought, "Why offer advice that I can't even follow?" 

In case you haven't seen the news, Oregon underwent a wildfire that has burnt about one million acres. Communities just an easy drive or bus ride away from me received warnings of possible evacuation. People all over the NextDoor app who live near me asked whether our own city would be evacuated (I live in a suburb of Portland). 

Luckily, that immediate threat of possible evacuation has passed, but lately, we have dealt with hazardous air here. As I sit typing out this blog post, it's now at "very unhealthy" levels, and I hope by the time this post goes live, we're somewhat close to normal air. In the meantime, the windows remain tightly shut. 

 And this year has had a number of these moments for so many people. In fact, maybe this year is one of many for you. Maybe your threat isn't external, but entirely internal. 

The thing is I can't say that I am able to shelve these experiences and write anyways. I'm lucky I can even focus enough to read. 

This is when advice like self-care comes in. Yes, it's an absolutely 100% overly used word. Sometimes we don't even realize we are NOT taking care of ourselves. It's not until we lose our temper, cry at an inopportune time, or have zero energy for something we usually can do with ease that we realize that we haven't been treating ourselves with care. 

So, in times of incredible stress, whether it's a fire burning your community, or an illness, or anything else that railroads your life, make sure you are kind to yourself. Give yourself some breathing room. Give yourself care, but make sure it's the right kind of care. 

As a writer, I'm naturally drawn to things that are creative, especially when I eliminate the things that can suck in my time in a negative way (such as too much social media or, embarrassingly enough, mobile gaming). Lately, I have limited social media and removed Lily's Garden (if you have to ask what that is, you're better off not knowing), and let myself be drawn to things that are of better substance. 

I ended up getting drawn back into blogging. I write for two of my blogs lately, one post was for LadyUnemployed and the other post was for World of My Imagination (I actually bought the domain recently!). Sometimes when I put on the blogging hat, I tend to take on the informative side that's a bit more concerned about results than just writing. But for these posts, I donned the creative side that uses blogging as an outlet, and just...talked. 

And you know what? It felt good. It felt like I was more myself than when I attempted to pretend I was some expert. 

 So, today, if you find yourself in a spot where you battling fires in your life, first and foremost, take care of yourself. Give yourself a moment of quiet, even if it's a few moments in the bathroom (hey, we've all done that). Breath. Center yourself. 

 Next, let your creativity flow. Let it rise up in unexpected places, even if it's for your blog. I'm a huge believer in the fact that one creative outlet helps another. Consider bugging a friend to do a writing challenge or respond to a writing prompt with you. Get out the coloring books and crayons. It's totally possible to feed your creative outlet without feeling the burden of success (even if it's the idea of success; that alone can weigh heavy). 

Basically, like Jeanine DeHoney said recently in her post, have fun. And you know? Sometimes I forget to do that. 

So, if you are facing something really difficult, remember that your creative side can still help you get through the rough days. Ditch the idea that it needs to be perfect or even seen by anyone else. Most of all, take it easy on yourself. 

Happy writing! Nicole Pyles is a Blog Tour Manager and freelance writer. Check her unemployment blog, LadyUnemployed.com for informative and inspiring posts, and WorldofMyImagination.com for her thoughts on writing and books. Say hi on Twitter @BeingTheWriter.

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14 comments Nicole Pyles, stress, writing

5 Things to Do When You Don’t Have Time to Write

Women who write have it tough. As if that point wasn’t driven home in Sioux’s recent post “He Said, She Said,” I’ve been seeing it this past week in great abundance. One friend is nursing her husband, recently released from the hospital with pneumonia. Another is cleaning out her mother’s house so that it can be sold. 

It can be difficult to feel like a writer when you have to struggle to fit any writing into your day. Fortunately, there are five writerly things you can do when you don’t know if you will have time to write.

Start the Day Writing. One piece of advice I recently saw was to make sure you start the day with your writing. By doing it before you start errands, you squeeze it in and get it done. Task accomplished you can walk tall through your day. This idea presumes that you don’t have a toddler who is an early riser. If that’s your situation. . .

Broaden Your Definition. You may not have time to draft an article, a chapter or even an entire page, so broaden your definition of what constitutes writing. What one writing related task can you fit into your day? Add an agent to your “interested” list. Get out your journal and jot down that idea you have for a new story.

Follow Up on Something. Recently a friend contacted an agent who has had her work for months. Not only had the agent’s response been lost in the electronic atmosphere, it was a request for a full manuscript. Take the time to write a short e-mail to the agent who has been sitting on your work. When we are really busy it is easy to let following up slide.

Reading Is Writing. This one has always driven my husband a little bananas. If you are a writer, reading counts as work! When my son was a preschooler, I might not have found time to write every day, but I could find time to read him a picture book. Reading to my target audience? Instant research and a writing task accomplished. And, the easiest task of all to fit into your busy day?

Live Your Life. Life events may periodically get in the way of your writing but they also fuel your writing. In addition to the events themselves, emotion and sensory experiences can make the way into our work.

So even on those days or in those weeks when life is full? You are working on your writing.

--SueBE

Sue Bradford Edwards' is the author of over 25 books for young readers.  To find out more about her writing, visit her blog, One Writer's Journey.  Sue is also the instructor for  Research: Prepping to Write Nonfiction for Children and Young Adults. The next session begins  March 2nd, 2020. 

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5 comments finding time to write, sandwich generation, stress, Sue Bradford Edwards

Feeling Out of Control? YOU Have Choices!

Do you feel like things are out of control? Too many irons in the fire? Too many things on the 'to do' list? Not enough hours in the day?

Feel like someone else is driving the bus and you aren't liking the direction it's heading?

YOU have choices...

breathe

Stop whatever you are doing right now. Close your eyes. Breathe in, Breathe out. Put down your smart phone. Grab something to drink (ie: water, coffee, etc...) and take a seat. I want the next 7 minutes of your life...starting now...

Here's a gift I want to give you: I met a man who was a college football star. He went surfing and had a terrible accident. He woke up paralyzed from the neck down. That's right...he can't move his arms, he can't urinate without help, he can't dress himself, feed himself, make love to his wife, hold his children, etc...(I know...you're wondering what kind of gift this is...). I don't want you to feel more fortunate because someone is in a worse situation. I don't want you to feel that your troubles are less significant than they were 4 minutes ago. I want to tell you about Ron. Ron can't control what he wears, what he eats, when he urinates. HE has no control...or does he? If you had time to hear him speak, he would tell you that he has a single choice each day. In my mind, it's the same choice each of us have. That choice is the attitude we choose to have about the day. The rest of us are fortunate, our day starts with the attitude choice and from there we can make many other choices. Ron has JUST that choice.

Who controls our attitude? It's not our boss, it's not the 'honey do' list, it's not our weight, it's not our height, it's not the amount of money we have in the bank. WE control our attitude. We decide if we are going to be thankful, miserable, rude, selfish, greedy, etc...

If we choose to be thankful we will be gracious. We will be happy, we will be smiling. People will want to spend time with us. We will be thankful for the breaths we take, the people in our lives, the mornings we wake up, the opportunities we have.

Or....we can wake up upset about the weather being too hot, the mortgage too high, our boss a jerk, etc...and from there, we will alienate our friends, we won't attract the right people, we will surround ourselves with others who are miserable. Then...we are in a much worse position than Ron, because we will have chosen to make ourselves emotionally handicapped.

On that note - what's your choice for today? tomorrow? this week? this year? this lifetime?

Crystal J. Casavant-Otto is a church musician, business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Reedsville, Wisconsin with her husband, two young children (Carmen 6 and Andre 5), three dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, and over 200 Holsteins. Crystal and her husband, Mark, are expecting another son at the end of September. You can find Crystal blogging at: http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/

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11 comments being gracious, being thankful, finding happiness, gift of choice, out of control, stress, take control

Queen of Multitasking

I'm writing this article, watching TV, talking on the phone and drinking my coffee. I've always done more than one thing at a time. I believe myself to be the Queen of Multitasking. In fact, it's hard for me to only do individual tasks. Just the other day I was scanning the aisles of Walmart, reading my shopping list and talking on the phone. To my friend I said, "Lettuce." She asked, "Let us what?"
People can't multitask very well, and when people say they can, they're deluding themselves," said neuroscientist Earl Miller. He said, "The brain is very good at deluding itself.
You're not paying attention to one or two things simultaneously, but switching between them very rapidly."
At a lab at the University of Michigan, researchers are using an MRI scanner to photograph test subjects' brains as they perform different tasks. Two red items were shown to the man, so his brain searched for which one was larger. Then the subject was shown a green item; the brain had to decide which item was more important. The MRI showed the brain pausing before responding. It had to store information about the red item and search for what information it had stored about green items before deciding to focus on the green. 

           Miller says, "Part of the brain that does this is called the "executive system." It's a bit like one of those cartoon conductors telling the orchestra: louder, softer, faster, slower. You come in here. You be quiet for a few measures."  
   


  Peter Bregman tells about a study which showed that people distracted by incoming email and phone calls saw a 10-point fall in their IQs. What's the impact of a 10-point drop? The same as losing a night of sleep. More than twice the effect of smoking marijuana.
Doing several things at once is a trick we play on ourselves, thinking we're getting more done. In reality, multitasking slows our productivity down by as much as 40%. We don't actually multitask. We switch-task, rapidly shifting from one thing to another, interrupting ourselves unproductively, and losing time in the process.
We need to learn to do one thing at a time. Otherwise, we are putting too much stress on our brains, and this keeps us from concentrating on what we are doing. If we devote more energy to doing the single task at hand, we will have more energy to finish that task. 
How not to multitask is a difficult task. Realization that you need to channel your focus is your beginning. It is better to set aside small chunks of time to work on a task then  to do several things at one time and not finishing any of them in a timely or efficient fashion.


Some multitasking is inevitable:

• Bouncing baby on your hip as you fix dinner.
• Yelling at kids while driving.
• Playing fetch with Fido while reading a novel.
• Tending to Farmville while talking (texting) on the phone. 

Multitasking is not thinking of one thing and doing another. My mind works out many plot problems while I'm sweeping the living room. Multitasking is doing one thing and then switching, to another task and then coming back to the first. 
To finish this blog, I turned off the TV and hung up the phone. I finished it in half the time it normally takes me to write a blog. I am less stressed—okay, I am still somewhat stressed—over the tasks that I need to accomplish before the day ends, but I feel good about my accomplishments so far today.
What multitasking chores do you do at the same time? How does this effect your writing? Would you have less stress if you concentrated on only one at a time?


Resources:
Photo Queen:  http://www.librarising.com
Photo Conductor: http://www.thestarpress.com

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11 comments blog, Cher'ley Grogg, chores, concentrate, finish, multitasking, queen, stress, switch, tasks, time, writing