by Angelica R. Jackson
I realized I’ve been querying for so long that I can remember the days when writers hoarded boxes to ship weighty, printed manuscripts to addresses in New York; I even saved uncancelled stamps from our own mail to reuse on my submissions. So many mail rooms have received envelopes from me decorated with a hodgepodge of stamps and a veneer of dried rubber cement.
Or, I could go further back to when I was still in high school, writing science fiction stories that the genre magazines turned down as derivative (rightly so). Over the years, the rejections mounted; I sold several freelance articles, but it was twenty years before I finally got a yes on a fiction piece.
Someone asked me recently what kept me going and I knew the answer immediately: it was the form rejection I received from a literary journal with a handwritten note of encouragement scrawled across it. The editor had added a single word, “Onward,” followed by no less than three exclamation marks. Although the comment lacked specificity, it galvanized me when I was feeling particularly low.
From then on, whenever I was discouraged, I’d cry “Onward!!!” and write a new story, or join another writing workshop, or dissect a beloved novel for its structure. I took it as an order to continue to grow and learn while I waited to be discovered.
That one word made me into a better writer, or at least it made me feel validated enough to put the work in to become a better writer. It carried me through short stories and novel drafts and the harrowing query process.
Some years later, we moved house and I came across my folder of rejection letters. I’d saved them with the goal of using the papers to decoupage a bookcase for my to-be-published-someday books, as a way to thumb my nose at the editors who had failed to recognize my early genius. But as I read through them, I discovered these pages didn’t hold any sentiment for me any longer: no pang of rejection, no angst directed at the sender. They’d lost their power.
The only one I really wanted to keep was that treasured form rejection with the handwritten note. I finally found it and held it up to the light, expecting to hear a chorus of angels in the room. Instead, I noticed that the “Onward!!!” wasn’t handwritten—it had actually been photocopied along with the form rejection. It wasn’t meant for me personally at all.
Or was it? Since I’d taken it for my own personal mantra, it had done its job. Like Dumbo’s feather that made him fly, I discovered that the magic had been inside me the entire time—or if not magic, an inner stubbornness and determination that kept me writing and submitting.
So now I’m passing it on to whoever needs it, to borrow my motto and keep writing and growing. Onward!!!
* * *
Angelica R. Jackson is a writer, photographer, and avid naturalist living in the Sierra foothills of California. She is the author of the award-winning Faerie Crossed young adult urban fantasy series, and her photos are collected in Capturing The Castle: Images of Preston Castle.
Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads | Art Galleries | Blog | Website
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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
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I realized I’ve been querying for so long that I can remember the days when writers hoarded boxes to ship weighty, printed manuscripts to addresses in New York; I even saved uncancelled stamps from our own mail to reuse on my submissions. So many mail rooms have received envelopes from me decorated with a hodgepodge of stamps and a veneer of dried rubber cement.
Or, I could go further back to when I was still in high school, writing science fiction stories that the genre magazines turned down as derivative (rightly so). Over the years, the rejections mounted; I sold several freelance articles, but it was twenty years before I finally got a yes on a fiction piece.
Someone asked me recently what kept me going and I knew the answer immediately: it was the form rejection I received from a literary journal with a handwritten note of encouragement scrawled across it. The editor had added a single word, “Onward,” followed by no less than three exclamation marks. Although the comment lacked specificity, it galvanized me when I was feeling particularly low.
From then on, whenever I was discouraged, I’d cry “Onward!!!” and write a new story, or join another writing workshop, or dissect a beloved novel for its structure. I took it as an order to continue to grow and learn while I waited to be discovered.
That one word made me into a better writer, or at least it made me feel validated enough to put the work in to become a better writer. It carried me through short stories and novel drafts and the harrowing query process.
Some years later, we moved house and I came across my folder of rejection letters. I’d saved them with the goal of using the papers to decoupage a bookcase for my to-be-published-someday books, as a way to thumb my nose at the editors who had failed to recognize my early genius. But as I read through them, I discovered these pages didn’t hold any sentiment for me any longer: no pang of rejection, no angst directed at the sender. They’d lost their power.
The only one I really wanted to keep was that treasured form rejection with the handwritten note. I finally found it and held it up to the light, expecting to hear a chorus of angels in the room. Instead, I noticed that the “Onward!!!” wasn’t handwritten—it had actually been photocopied along with the form rejection. It wasn’t meant for me personally at all.
Or was it? Since I’d taken it for my own personal mantra, it had done its job. Like Dumbo’s feather that made him fly, I discovered that the magic had been inside me the entire time—or if not magic, an inner stubbornness and determination that kept me writing and submitting.
So now I’m passing it on to whoever needs it, to borrow my motto and keep writing and growing. Onward!!!
* * *
Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads | Art Galleries | Blog | Website
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
