Monster Rewrite: Conquest on a Deadline

Just over two weeks ago, I got a message from one of my editors. “We need a rewrite. One section didn’t work so add information to chapter 5 or create a new chapter. Whichever works. In addition, there are a handful of other things that need to be done. See the notes throughout the manuscript.”

I downloaded the manuscript and discovered 150 notes on 70 pages. Good grief. How many of these notes involved the possible new chapter? There must be a lot since there were only a handful of additional fixes.

I went through the notes and discovered 20 were compliments or observations with no work involved. Another 20 involved the new content. That meant that 100+ comments involved the "handful" of other things.

How did I get this done in just over a week? First, I list out the various comments by chapter. I’m dyslexic and all of those comments as well as “track changes” make the manuscript almost unreadable. So I list which comments need to be dealt with in each chapter. Chatty comments and repeats don't make it to the list.

In terms of the actual writing, I start with the easy fixes. These are the ones asking for clarification or if I really meant X instead of Y.  As I take care of a comment, I cross it off the list. Next I tackle the ones that require me to go back to a source. I expand on points and give additional examples.

Big problems that might require a new chapter? Those I tackle last. I tried to fix this one with a bit more information in Chapter 5 but that didn’t work. So I pulled a bit out of this chapter, a bit out of that chapter and did the research to write a bit more.

With a new chapter composed of text that had to be moved from one point to another in the manuscript, I then read through all 70 pages. I needed to make sure that I struck the information now in the new chapter from where it has first been located in the manuscript. I had to make sure that transitions still made sense and references to earlier information were still referring to earlier information.

Last but not least, I read through all of the comments one more time. With 150 it is easy to miss something. This is also when I respond to comments that deal with things I didn’t change. Often these are cases where someone’s motivations cannot be determined and I won’t speculate or I made a fix different from what was requested.

Some people may think that they key to working through 150 comments is to tie yourself to the desk. That doesn’t work for me. I need to get up and move. Sometimes I go to yoga. Other times I game with my family. Still other times I take the pruners and cut out honeysuckle. Yes, I do yard work, but all of the invasive honeysuckle (think kudzu with flowers) has been annihilated.

And I also managed to meet my deadline.

--SueBE

To find out more about Sue Bradford Edwards' writing, visit her blog, One Writer's Journey.  Sue is also the instructor for Writing Nonfiction for Children and Young Adults. The next session begins July 22nd, 2019.

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3 comments deadlines, meeting a deadline, rewrite, rewriting, Sue Bradford Edwards

Who Shall I Say Is Calling? Character Voice

As I draft my mystery, I’ve had an uncomfortable realization. My characters lack unique voices. While the choir director almost has his own voice, my main character and her two sidekicks sound alike. The other secondary characters blend right in without anyone sounding unique.

How unique do they need to be? You should be able to look at the dialogue from a conversation among characters and know who is speaking even when the tags have been deleted. It should be that obvious. I know this is the sort of thing I can fix in the rewrite but how to fix it has had me worried. Then my son came into my office.

“How am I supposed to know which one of them wrote this?” He had a Facebook message open on his phone. We have friends, Mom, Dad and teen daughter, who share a Facebook account. Answering a question is a lot easier when you know who you are talking to. I glanced at the message. “It’s the teen.”

The reasons that I could tell who it was gave me some ideas regarding how to rewrite my dialogue. A lot of it would be based on studying how real people sound and I could start with this family.

Mom and daughter have a tendency to go on and on. Verbally and in Messenger, their messages are long. Still I can tell at a glance which is which.

Mom is explaining every contingency. There will be no doubt what she wants and what are the possible outcomes based on each response you might make.

The daughter’s messages are just as long but not loaded down with facts like Mom’s. The teen’s messages, even the one to me, are effervescent. You are going to know exactly how she feels and what it is that she’s wildly excited about this very minute. If it is via Messenger, there will be 4 or more emoji. In a row. And none of them are the poop emoji.

Dad’s messages are brief. Five words max.

Other things that I might want to use when shaping a character’s voice include:

Education. A well-educated character is more likely to use what my dad calls ten-dollar words.

Vocation. A doctor may pepper her speech with medical terms while a soldier uses military terminology. Hobbies can influence speech in much the same way with an avid amateur geologist using rock and mineral vocabulary while a gardener refers to plants and earth.

Personality. A confident person will make firm statements. An insecure person may hedge every statement lest they cause offense.

Once I have a draft in hand, with the plot and mystery solidly in place, it will be time to fine tune the dialogue. To do this, I’ll have to take a look at each character and decide how to shape their speech. By the time I’m done, readers should be able to tell the cop from the choir director from the new girl in town.

--SueBE

To find out more about Sue Bradford Edwards' writing, visit her blog, One Writer's Journey.  Sue is also the instructor for Writing Nonfiction for Children and Young Adults. The next session begins March 18th, 2019.

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6 comments dialogue, rewrite, Sue Bradford Edwards, voice

The Three Sentence Pitch: A Tool to Focus Your Writing

Last summer, I ran a picture book manuscript past my critique group.  It was ready to go.  I just wanted their stamp of approval and then I could send it off.

The problem was that I didn’t get it – the stamp of approval. 

It seems that in the process of rewriting my work, I hadn’t smoothed out bumps and made it tighter, but instead had lost my focus.  The telltale sign that this had happened was the chorus, or actually two choruses (chori?). 

In picture books, there is often a repeating line of text that echoes throughout the story, much like a chorus.  You don’t see it after every page turn, but you see it often enough that readers learn what is coming when they hear the first two or three words.

In the first draft of my story, I had created a chorus based on my theme of the story.  It worked because it made the story cohesive. 

But then I had to strengthen the character.  While I was doing that, I started to play here and there with the text and another chorus emerged. In a longer book, this might work but mine comes in at less than 500 words.  Nope.  No room for a second chorus.  With it, the story felt unwieldy. 

The only solution was to rewrite it and get it back on track.  It was going to be tough to evaluate each spread for what could and couldn’t stay in the leaner meaner version.  I needed something to keep me on track and help me focus. 

Fortunately, I remembered the three sentence pitches we practiced writing at a Missouri SCBWI writing retreat.  A three sentence pitch is just enough to give an agent or editor an idea what your story is about.  It deals more with theme and character than plot.  With only three sentences about your story, you have to focus if you are going to fit your character, her problem and a hint at the theme all in three sentences. 

It’s still rough, but this is what I came up with:

No one knows what’s going on at Sappington’s Superior Circus better than Felicity Fernandez. She finds lost children and car keys and can point the way to the next act. The problem comes when she can’t find her place in the Circus and she wonders if she would be better off someplace else.

In 53 words, I have the character (Felicity Fernandez), the setting (Sappington’s Superior Circus), the story problem (Felicity can’t find herself), and a hint at the theme (even if you know where everything else belongs, it may take some time to find your place). 

With this in mind, and on an index card, I can evaluate each paragraph of text. Does it develop this idea?  If not, cross it out.  When I am done, I will have a tightly focused story with a chorus that once again has the space to ring out.

--SueBE

SueBE blogs about writing at One Writer's Journey.  

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6 comments picture books, pitch, rewrite, Writing Picture Books