Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts

The Need for Respect Between Writers and Editors

Saturday, June 03, 2023
Photo by Yan Krukau (Pexels)

I took part in a nasty email exchange recently. I didn’t start it, and I certainly didn’t want to continue it. 

This dust-up began when I submitted a CNF essay to a print journal. I had received one of those “Open to Submissions” digests through email. You know the kind. It’s similar to the sidebars we include in each monthly WOW! Markets newsletter, alerting writers to open calls for submissions. 

* This round-up I’m referencing was not, for the record, included in the WOW! Markets newsletter.

Anyway, this particular round-up noted that one journal—a name I was not familiar with, a print magazine—was open to original work, as well as reprints. It’s rare to find journals open to reprints, so I immediately took notice. I have a CNF essay that is very dear to me, published three years ago in an online journal. I always keep my eyes open for reprint opportunities because I’d love to hold this essay in a print publication. It’s about my sister-in-law’s suicide, and it’s one of the most bittersweet pieces I’ve ever written. 

I sent my essay to the print journal on a Monday morning. I clearly noted at the top that it was a reprint, and cited where and when it had been published online. Three days later, I got an email from them. I was surprised at the speed of the reply, and wasn’t sure if I should take it as a good or bad sign that they were getting back to me so quickly. 

Prior to submitting my reprint, I had visited the journal’s website to see if they published any pieces online. Some print journals have been known to post a few sample pieces, to help give writers a flavor of what they publish. With print, it’s sometimes harder to get a sense of what a particular journal likes when one does not have a paid subscription.  

Their website did not have any sample pieces posted. I also did not see in their submission guidelines where they said they accepted reprints. I wanted to cover my bases to show that I was not randomly spraying out essays without reading guidelines. As an online journal editor myself, I appreciate the importance of following guidelines to the letter. I pointed out in my cover letter that the submissions round-up email had indicated reprints were accepted. 

I opened their reply with my usual expectation of a 50/50 coin toss. They were either going to thank me for considering them and tell me they were not interested in my piece, or they might surprise me and say that they wanted to republish it. What I was not expecting was the sarcastic reply I read:
 
Print magazine editors are weary of junk submissions from people who have not read an issue. 

“Junk” submissions? Ouch! Where the hell did that come from? 

This editor—as it turns out, when I Googled him—is white and male and older, judging by his photo. Not a good look, this email reply of his, especially in an industry that has a history of literary gatekeeping. An industry that consistently and unabashedly valued male (and almost always white) writers and all but ignored, well, everyone else: females, people of color, the LGBTQ community, neurodivergent writers, and on and on. For, um, centuries. 

But, this is not a discussion about white male privilege. It’s actually just a discussion about rudeness. About sarcastic, conceited dismissal. Stick with me. We’re getting to that part. 

He went on to scold me that they do not accept previously published work, and that the digest that included that guidance was clearly in error. What I read between the lines was that he, in his haughty wisdom, dismissed them as well for being sloppy. 

He continued: Visit our website. And read the magazine. 

Though I found his email off-putting, and though I rarely respond to editors when I receive a rejection, I felt this called for some kind of reply. I let him know that I had, in fact, visited the journal’s website before submitting and I had tried to read some of their published work, but that I could not find any writing in any shape or form published on their website. (The only thing I saw was instructions on how to purchase back copies, or sign up for an annual subscription.) 

I also apologized for sending my reprint in error, then mentioned in closing how I’ve seen some print journals publish samples, which helps those writers who may not have money to buy subscriptions to every publication. I’m pretty sure that’s the point where our email conversation went from unpleasant to ugly. His reply, a half hour later: 

Like other magazines, XX receives many submissions from people who have not read it. When I call this fact to their attention, they reply as you did that they cannot buy every magazine to which they submit. Why not? If a magazine is good enough to publish your work, it is good enough for you to buy a copy. Please save your advice on how to run the magazine, and what to put on the website. Editors rarely welcome such comments from writers.  

I sat there, stewing over his condescension. I thought about how I had apologized to him and was sincere in owning up to my mistake. The onus was on me after all, as the submitter, to fact-check what I’d read in an erroneous third-party round-up that said this particular journal did accept reprints.  

I’ll be sure to file your emails in my Pompous Ass folder, I replied. Get over yourself. 

I was not proud of my snark. OK, who am I kidding, you’re damn right I was proud. I assumed that would be the end of it. It was not. Minutes later, I got another scorching email. 

And I’ll be sure to pass your name to other editors as a writer to avoid! 

I'll do you one better, I wrote back, and share with the journal for which I am an editor to keep your name in mind as one to avoid

I hit the Send button, but soon regretted engaging in a juvenile tit-for-tat with some gray-haired, bespectacled man who oozed grandiosity. While Googling him, I saw that he crowed about his Ivy-League education, and listed a handful of what he considered higher-tier—and therefore worthy, in his esteemed opinion—journals in which he’d been published. 

My Inbox dinged five minutes later. He’d apparently also Googled me, because he called out by name both the literary journal where I volunteer as a Flash CNF editor, and the WOW! Women on Writing community where I write newsletter columns. His comments about both put his ugliness on full display. 

Barren Magazine? Are you kidding me? Women on Writing? Am I a woman? 

He rattled off a few more insults and closed his rant with the question: Who do you think you are? 

I was floored. And, done. I filed his nasty-grams away in an archived folder, and reflected on what had gone down. I’m not sure I have any answers, certainly not any that can excuse this person’s overblown response to a legitimate mistake in thinking their journal accepted reprints. I regretted stooping to his level, as he baited me with his hostility. 

Even more so, I regretted sending him my essay about my deceased sister-in-law. An essay he in all likelihood never read, but felt compelled to call "junk." The whole experience left me feeling a bit brokenhearted. 

When writers and editors can’t or won’t respect one other, when someone like this boor dismisses another writer and editor, when he stoops to lording it over other journals and lashes out with a sexist comment about an entire community, it sucks the joy out of this thing we we all work so hard at capturing. How to relate to each other. Getting to universal truths. 

Here’s a truth about that editor. He is, indeed, a pompous ass. And if his journal’s mission in any way reflects his own ugliness, it’s not a journal I’d ever want to be in. 


Ann Kathryn Kelly writes from New Hampshire’s Seacoast region. https://annkkelly.com
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Friday Speak Out!: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Friday, September 07, 2018
by Jeanine DeHoney

I remember as a child my father, who was an aspiring jazz musician, choosing a record that wasn’t his usual jazz line up to play on our French provincial stereo console record player while we did our Saturday morning chores. He played Aretha Franklin’s record, “Respect.

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find out what it means to me, R-E-S-P-E-C-T…”

After I did a halfhearted job of dusting the furniture, I got out of doing the remainder of my chores by settling on our sofa in our Livingroom. My plan was perfectly timed for when my father got ready to wax our floors. Once he started, pouring the liquid wax on the floor and rubbing small perimeters with one of his old t-shirts on his hands and knees, I knew I’d be stuck there for a while. But I didn’t mind. I was prepared to sit there with my notebook, a pen and my imagination until the floor dried to a shiny sheen and I could walk on it.

As the music filled our house I wrote and bobbed my head to Aretha’s powerful and soulful voice. Back then I didn’t know how much the lyrics to, “Respect,” would resonate with me as a little black girl living in Brooklyn who wanted to share her stories with the world.

That song from this icon of a woman fittingly crowned, the “Queen of Soul,” became my empowerment anthem, my battle hymn. It helped me remember that no matter what my skin color was, no matter what others thought about me, I counted and I deserved to be respected.

As an adult those affirmative feelings carried over into my stories. Whether fiction or nonfiction, I wanted the people I wrote about, especially women and women of color like myself, and minorities to show their courage and their strength at the end of their journey. I wanted them to impart a lesson to my readers through their dialogue or actions that they mattered and would no longer be marginalized, devalued or disrespected.

When I listened to Aretha Franklin sing, "Respect,” the words regard and reverence come to mind. This song and her activism as a Black woman who was revered worldwide and by all races, encourages me to live and write from a place that speaks to the injustices in the world. That song encourages me to speak up and speak out for all those who faced repercussions when they did or those who need courage to do it now I will be the vessel to tell their stories line by line, verse by verse.

Music, good music, the kind where the melody or lyrics roll off your tongue even when the song stops playing, the music Aretha Franklin sang, can fuel your creativity and shape your platform. Aretha Franklin’s music did that for me, one song in particular. I am forever grateful to her for that and more. May she rest in Queenly peace.

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Jeanine DeHoney has had her work published on several blogs, in magazines and anthologies. Among others her writing has been published in Essence, The Children's Ark, Metro Fiction, My Brown Baby, The Write Place At the Write Time, Literary Mama, Mutha Magazine, True Stories Well Told, Parent. Co., Brain Child Magazine, Jerry Jazz Magazine, Today's Caregiver Magazine, and Rigorous Literary Magazine. She is an essayist in the anthologies "Chicken Soup for the African American Woman’s Soul,” "Here in the Middle: Stories of Love, Loss, and Connection from The Ones Sandwiched in Between," “Theories of HER-an experimental anthology, in the anthology, "In Celebration of Sisters," and in the Chicken Soup For The Soul Anthology, The Power Of Yes.
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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
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Feeling Respected at Work

Thursday, April 02, 2015
Stan Slap is one of my favorite authors (not to mention a really great guy!)

He was looking for stories about different work scenarios, situations, environments, etc...and if you submitted a 200+ word story, you could win an autographed copy of his book, etc.

There were several different categories you could choose to write about and the category I chose was about a time you were either respected or disrespected at work. I shared the below story, and I'm excited to see if mine was included in his newly released book, Under the Hood.

Feeling respected by your co-workers is important; feeling respected by your boss is critical to your success and longevity with a company. I was fortunate enough to spend a decade of my professional career working for a company that really "got" the importance of respect. Their Mission statement included a statement about helping employees learn and grow so they would be successful and respected. The owner of the company introduced his staff (at all levels) as teammates. A stranger would never have known that he was the owner and the rest of us were beneath him on the corporate hierarchical ladder. My favorite example was a time when the owner I've described above, was on his way home from work and he passed a lemonade stand. He knew the lemonade stand was in front of one of his employee's homes and that her eight year old daughter was expressing her entrepreneurial tendencies. He pulled over, purchased a cup of lemonade for himself and his two daughters. While he was paying, he asked the young girl if her mother was Angela who worked at Americollect. The girl said yes, that's my mommy - to which he gracefully responded: oh, I work with her, she's a nice lady and you're lucky to have such a good mommy. The young girl thanked him and he drove off. Now that's a classy man!

If your company believes in a team concept and your managers do not rule by fear, you need to have mutual respect at all levels. That really comes from the top and trickles down. You cannot tell teammates to respect one another, openly accept feedback, and help one another grow and then walk around the office like (pardon my French) your crap doesn’t stink! The company I worked for encouraged even the newest employee to give feedback to anyone within the organization – including the owner. Training sessions were provided to instruct the team how to give feedback – and to make sure that it was well intended (otherwise it’s not feedback, it’s just bad manners).

I am now my own boss and yet, I feel truly fortunate to have had the employee experiences I did. Americollect continues to grow and they are adding to their staff. Potential candidates occasionally ask if I think they should apply. My answer is always the same: "Absolutely Yes! You can't go wrong with their awesome and unique culture." I wonder how many previous employees could say that about their employers; pretty impressive if you ask me.

What is something that has helped you feel respected at work?

What is something you have done in the past to help others feel respected at work?


Crystal is a church musician, business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Reedsville, Wisconsin with her husband, four young children (Carmen 7, Andre 6, Breccan 16 months, and Delphine 1 month), two dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, and over 200 Holsteins. You can find Crystal blogging and reviewing books and all sorts of other stuff at: http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/

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