It's Okay to Make Mistakes

Repeat the title of this blog post to yourself as many times as needed. Why? Because one of the biggest obstacles writers face--no matter where you are in your writing or publishing career--is getting over the fear of making a mistake. It can paralyze you, no matter where you sit on the pefectionist spectrum.

I didn't always know that it was okay to make a mistake. I have spent so many wasted hours worrying about the mistakes I did make and the mistakes I would probably make. Those wasted hours are ones I cannot get back. They were unproductive. There's absolutely nothing I can do about them.

But I can tell myself now that it is okay to make mistakes. If I self-publish with a cover that is slightly wrong for my nonfiction book, that's not the end of the world. It's okay if I price my book too low or too high. It's not the worst thing ever if I miss opportunities to put some people on my e-newsletter list. (This paragraph of all the mistakes I may make during indie publishing or I have made during traditional publishing could go on and on and on, but I'll stop at three. The rule of three is a good one to use when listing examples, but that's another blog post entirely. And now, I made a fourth mistake, rambling about other topics during a blog post.)

I had this realization (of it being okay to make mistakes, in case you have no idea what this post is about after my rambling) after listening to The Six Figure Author Podcast. This podcast with three indie authors who have made six figures in a year during their indie author careers is fun and inspiring. (The hosts are Lindsay Buroker, Joseph R. Lallo, and Andrea Pearson.) They share their mistakes as well as their successes, and that's important. They share how ideas that used to work don't work anymore. They share how they LEARN from their mistakes.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

That's the thing. It's okay to make mistakes if you learn from them. Okay, I'm not trying to be hard on you here. Listen, I've made the same mistakes countless times. I was just explaining to my daughter the other day on a pandemic walk (that's what I call our daily walks now) the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I was explaining it because I have recently been fooled twice, and I was frustrated and grumpy.

But look, if I put my book up on Amazon and I follow all the information that I have now to the best of my ability, and it doesn't sell, that's okay. I know some strategies to try to improve sales. What is absolutely not all right is worrying that I will do it wrong and make mistakes and never put it up for sale. That is unexcusable, and I will not let that happen.

I know some of you worry about making a mistake, such as:

• Did I start my essay the right way? Did I revise it enough? Is it really ready to enter the contest? Am I experienced enough to enter a contest?
• Should I publish traditionally or self-publish? If I self-publish and fail, will anyone ever want to traditionally publish me again?
• Am I querying the right agents?
• Do I have the right to write this piece I wrote? 
• Will anyone be mad at me if they read this essay I wrote about my truths?
• Is the world ready for my memoir?
• Am I writing for young adult or middle grade? Should I use profanity in my writing? Will I be banned?

Take a deep breath, tell yourself it's okay to make mistakes, educate yourself, and then trust yourself that you are doing the best you can do. And if you make a mistake, you will fix it and learn from it. That's all you need to do.

It's okay to make a mistake. 

Margo L. Dill is a writing coach, teacher, editor, and writer, living in St. Louis, MO with her 9-year-old daughter and one-year-old pup. You can find out more about her here. You can sign up for her novel writing course each month here. 

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6 comments creative inspiration, indie publishing, learning from mistakes, making mistakes, Margo L. Dill, mistakes are okay, writing coach, writing motivation

Authentic Blogging Doesn't Require Perfection

Years ago I read a fabulous article about blogging and perfection. I don't recall who wrote it, but it stuck with me. The gist of it is that a blog (unlike a book) doesn't have to be perfect. Typos are allowed and in fact they are encouraged! Encouraged? Wait, What? Yes, you read that correctly. In a day and age where being your authentic self is the key, making mistakes is the name of the game. For years I've had as part of my bio "failing forward" because that's what my road looks like. I've stumbled, I've fallen, I've been fired, I've been hated, I've been admired, and I'm still here. I'm still moving forward. I'm sure there are people who would tell you to sugar coat the failing part, but that's not truthful. People gravitate toward people they relate to. None of us relate to perfection. If you only publish a blog post that's perfect, you'll have a very empty blog and a frustrated following. It's ok to post a photo with a messy kitchen in the background. It's okay to write about things that are painful and you may just find that your writing is choppy and there's lots of spelling errors in your posts most filled with emotion. Guess what? People will love those posts even more, because we can all relate to feeling like a hot mess. We've all had those moments when we felt nothing we did was good enough. Sharing those messy moments makes you human. It converts you from words on a screen to a friend. If you include videos on your blog or in your social media, the same holds true...don't wait for the perfect moment. Being authentic means just getting your story out there, regardless of your messy hair, noisy children, or interruptions.

It's important to read and re-read what you're writing. You don't want to be completely sloppy or hap-hazard with your writing. Similarly, you wouldn't want to post a picture that will haunt you (or a member of your family) for years to come and you want to put some thought into your video before hitting the record button. What you don't want to do is overthink every little part of your message. It's the imperfection that helps make your voice unique and draws people to you. If you haven't heard of Glennon Doyle Melton, you should really look her up. She's an author with over a 1/2 million followers and she's far from perfect. She struggled with bulimia and addiction, her marriage endured adultery and she is currently separated from her husband and just this week announced (via Facebook) she is in love with two time Olympic God Medalist Abby Wambach. Glennon is a Christian mom blogger who has openly admitted to falling in love with another woman. Talk about being authentic and far from perfect. Her post about Abby is beautiful. There are sentence fragments. It doesn't matter. Love and beauty aren't perfect. Authenticity isn't perfect. The imperfect message, from the imperfect blogger...now that's perfection!

The next time you sit down and write your heart out and talk yourself out of publishing the message, I want you to think about this post. What you are doing is negative self talk. You are telling yourself that your message isn't good enough. That you aren't good enough. If you wait for the perfect moment, you are not only cheating yourself, but you are cheating your readers and your potential readers. Type through the tears and the mess and just get the message out there. Authentic blogging doesn't require perfection.

What's been holding you back? What does your self talk sound like? Are you fearful of doing a video on your Facebook page because you feel awkward? We want to hear from you. More important - those of you who aren't being held back, how did you push through those fears? What advice would you give others? How do you feel about imperfections in blogging?

Share you thoughts and ideas in the comments of this post - we love to hear from you!

PS - just for fun, let me know of any imperfections you can find in the above picture of my little fix it man! There are lots!

Hugs,
~Crystal

Crystal is a church musician, babywearing mama (aka crunchy mama), business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Publicist with Dream of Things Publishing, Press Corp teammate for the DairyGirl Network, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Manitowoc County, Wisconsin with her husband, four young children (Carmen 9, Andre 8, Breccan 3, and Delphine 1), two dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 230 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal riding unicorns, taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other stuff at:http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/

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3 comments authentic writing, blogging, mistakes are okay, no one is perfect, perfect, perfection, proofreading, self talk, writing mistakes