Showing posts with label gender roles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender roles. Show all posts

An Introduction to an Exciting New Anthology: My Body, My Words

Thursday, March 22, 2018
My Body, My Words is an anthology that brings a chorus of strong voices to the fight of learning to love your body and yourself! The list of writers contributing to this book includes Beverly Donofrio (Riding in Cars with Boys), Martha Frankel (Hats and Eyeglasses), Abigail Thomas (What Comes Next and How to Like It), and many more. My Body, My Words will offer readers and educators the unique experience of finding all of these voices in one place.

We are lucky to speak with the editors today, Loren Kleinman and Amye Archer. Loren's non-fiction has appeared in The New York Times, Ploughshares, ROAR, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, Seventeen Magazine, USA Today, Redbook, Woman’s Day, BUST, and more. Amye's memoir, Fat Girl, Skinny, was named runner-up for the Red Hen Press Nonfiction Manuscript Award and was released in April, 2016, by Big Table Publishing Company. She is a regular contributor to Feminine Collective and is the creator of The Fat Girl Blog.

WOW: We are so excited to get a chance to chat with you on The Muffin today! And we are so excited about your new anthology, My Body, My Words, (MBMW) too! So let’s start off with this: What will readers gain from the stories and poems in this book? 

Loren and Amye: We expected weight to be the most prominent (topic), so we were very surprised when it wasn't. We received many weight submissions, but we received an overwhelming amount of essays on aging, illness, mental health, and more. I think we were surprised by the spectrum of pain and pride people feel for their bodies. We’ve said this before, but when you struggle most of your life with weight, your perception of body image is focused solely on fat vs. not fat. This book opened our eyes to the shared burden of being human.

WOW: What an amazing experience for you and for readers! Why are the themes you explore--chronic illness, depression, age, weight, sexual identity, and more—so important to address in today’s society?

Amye
Amye: The #metoo movement happened while we were still building this book. It challenged our thinking in that we wondered if it should be an anthology exclusively reserved for women. In the end, however, we wanted to include voices from other genders since we really wanted this to be a collection of humanity. Excluding anyone would have been a mistake in the current climate-when we need to respect everyone's agency.

Loren: To expand on what Amye has said, I think how men and women accept their bodies starts from the top. Our models, including the American media, politicians, and businessmen and women, promote excessive lifestyles filled with violence, power, and over the top sexuality. Like Amye said, this extreme living has affected our bodies in ways that we are aware of and ways we are not.

For instance, research is continuing to prove the effects of social media on our body image and self worth. In a 2016 Time article called "How Social Media Is a Toxic Mirror" by Rachel Simmons, the study, "Contingencies of Self-Worth and Social-Networking-Site Behavior" is referenced. Simmons notes: “Visual platforms like Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat deliver the tools that allow teens to earn approval for their appearance and compare themselves to others. The most vulnerable users, researchers say, are the ones who spend most of their time posting, commenting on and comparing themselves to photos.” The study she references revealed “female college students who did this on Facebook were more likely to link their self-worth to their looks.”

Loren
I realize that sexual abuse has been evident for years, but I think now more than ever, the narrative, as a result of social media use, is that any person can be reduced to "like." People are disposable, and they’re for our viewing pleasure. Rather than be treated as human beings with thoughts, feelings, goals, bodies, we are either clickable or not; we are either sexy or not. I think the #MeToo narrative is challenging this notion, and bringing back personhood, personal stories; and by doing this, the consequence is that we return to a more stable, balanced place of remembrance, which is a return to our humanity. MBMW is that return to humanity, to the body we call home, and its beautiful fragility.

WOW: Everything you are saying is so true. It would be great if we could grow as a society and learn to see past how someone looks. How did you go about collecting and choosing the pieces for this anthology?

Loren and Amye: We both write a lot about our relationships with and to our bodies. We had read a few times together and discovered that we really had a literary kinship. We knew we wanted to work together, so it seemed natural to focus on the body since that is something we are both so passionate about.

We started with a simple idea: if you could talk to your body (and if your body could hear you), what would you say? From there, the idea just grew and grew.

WOW: We are sure that you love each and every selection because as editors, you have worked with these writers and chosen them for your beautiful book. But can you each highlight one or two titles that really hit home for you and tell us why?

Loren and Amye: We feel incredibly honored to be allowed entry into so many writers’ lives. Among the many vulnerable and authentic pieces, we loved Kathleen McKitty Harris’s piece, "A Timeline of Human Female Development". Kathleen actually came to us by way of Martha Frankel, and we fell in love with her essay on first read.

We also loved Ryan Sallans’ "Long Trek," which highlighted the mind-body connection through his transition. Sallans is an American LGBT rights advocate and out trans man. Sallans began his transition in 2005.

Wynn Chapman’s "The Fat Filly" and Jennifer Morgan’s "Fifty to Eight Pounds of Shame": both stories deal with shame--whether self-inflicted or embedded from those around them. These writers, like the other writers in the collection, are sharing the raw parts of themselves with readers.

Some other amazing moments include working with Abigail Thomas and Beverly Donofrio. We both read Abigail Thomas's Safekeeping when we were students, and it changed the way we thought about being a woman. Then, we had the pleasure working with Beverly Donofrio who wrote Riding in Cars with Boys, another book that changed our lives.

WOW: Thank you for sharing those highlights with us! What has the reader response been like for My Body, My Words?

Loren and Amye: So far we’ve received so many beautiful emails and feedback via social media about how the book really showcased a variety of body image conversations, such as eating disorders, amputation, illness, pregnancy, etc. Readers have been enjoying the breadth of offerings this book shares.

WOW: If someone is interested in learning more about the book and then purchasing it also, what is the next step?

Loren and Amye: My Body, My Words is available on Amazon. (Download the Kindle at here . Buy the hardback book at: this link. UK versions available here: http://bit.ly/MBMWUK

For more about our books, to sign up for the newsletter, or invitations to speak, run workshops, visit us at www.mybodymywords.com or email us at info (at) mybodymywords.com.

WOW: Great! I'm sure many of our readers are already clicking over there to check this all out. Any parting words?

Loren and Amye: If you read the book, we’d love it if you sent us feedback, notes, stories, left reviews on Amazon, and spread the love. Please feel free to email us at info(at)mybodymywords.com.

Follow us on Twitter at @MyBodyMyWords

WOW: Again, thank you for your time today, and readers, remember to check out this anthology at the links above! 







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The Romance Diet by Destiny Allison: Blog Tour Launch and Book Giveaway

Monday, January 11, 2016
It happens slowly over time—the fear of speaking up leads us to be silent more and more, and we drown our insecurities with the comfort of food far too often.
The Romance Diet explores the root of these insecurities, what causes us to hold in our words and emotions, and explores the effects of these actions on our personal relationships.

Brave, raw, and unflinchingly honest, this book is a weight loss journey, a love story, a heart beating loudly on the page. Every day we battle against something—injustice, our spouses, our weight. Seldom do we acknowledge the real wars we wage. Repressing feelings and silencing our voices, we suffer under the surface, attributing emotional distress and unwanted pounds to the inescapable effects of hormones or age.

But weight gain, anxiety, and marital difficulties aren't always so easy to explain.

In her poignant and touching memoir, Allison doesn't offer recipes, exercise tips, or advice. Instead, she shows us how to stand up, express what we want, and develop empathy for ourselves and the people we love. In doing so, she provides invaluable insight for those seeking to lose weight, save a marriage, or make a significant life change.

Includes a Readers Guide.

Paperback: 110 Pages
Genre: Memoir
Publisher: Sunstone Press (January 18, 2016)
ISBN-10: 1632930900
ISBN-13: 978-1632930903

The Romance Diet is available as an e-book and paperback at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and IndieBound.

Book Giveaway Contest:
To win a copy of The Romance Diet please enter using the Rafflecopter form at the bottom of this post. The giveaway contest closes Sunday, January 17th at 11:59 AM EST. We will announce the winner the same day in the Rafflecopter widget. Good luck!

About the Author:
Destiny Allison was a professional and award-winning sculptor. Her work is collected by individuals, civic entities, and corporations worldwide. When an injury required her to re-envision her life, Allison did what she always does. She applied her explosive creativity and dog-with-a-bone tenacity to new endeavors.

In 2011 she was named Santa Fe Business Woman of the Year. Her community building efforts and innovative business model transformed a bankrupt shopping center into a thriving community and commercial center.

In 2012 she published her first book, Shaping Destiny: A quest for meaning in art and life. The book won best independent non-fiction/memoir in the 2013 Global Book Awards.

Since then, she has published two novels and opened a general store.

Allison believes that one’s life is one’s greatest work of art. Hence, she flows freely between mediums. Unafraid to make mistakes and always passionate, she lives in Santa Fe, NM.

Website: wwww.destinyallisonbooks.com
Facebook: Destiny Allison Books
Twitter: sfsculptor

-----Interview by Renee Roberson

WOW: Destiny, this is your third time touring with us. Welcome back! Can you share with us the story of how the events that take place in The Romance Diet first unfolded?

Destiny: I had been a steel sculptor, strong and successful. Then my back failed and forced me to give up my career and identity. Between the time of the injury and the start of the book, I gained a ton of weight. The book begins with a trip to the doctor to have the injury diagnosed. While there, I demanded a thyroid test because I didn’t believe the weight gain was my fault. I wanted a magic pill that would give me back my life. Turns out, no pill that would work for me. My injury was severe and permanent. It could be managed, but I couldn’t be a sculptor again. My thyroid was fine, but the blood tests revealed another problem. I had to get that problem under control and lose the weight or I risked my life, but I was too sad to deal with it. My husband suggested we do it together and that is the beginning of the book.

WOW: How long did it take you to write the book, from the first drafts to the revisions?

Destiny: I work fast and this story was begging to be told. It took three months to write and another two to revise.

WOW: In between writing your first book, Shaping Destiny, you penned two dystopian novels. Was it difficult to switch gears back to non-fiction for The Romance Diet?

Destiny: Not really. Non-fiction is a natural form for me. The novels taught me a lot and the fiction techniques improved my non-fiction significantly. Now, my non-fiction reads more like a novel and I think readers will enjoy it more.

WOW: The Romance Diet is a very personal—yet powerful—memoir. What was your husband Steve's reaction when you told him you had decided to write about the events surrounding your weight loss journey? Was he apprehensive or supportive?

Destiny: My husband actually suggested that I write this story. He has been amazing and has supported it all the way through. What’s interesting is how much the book has helped our marriage. When we were able to sit back and digest our experiences through the pages of the book, things we’d discussed previously really hit home. For example, when I was getting ready to send out the advance review copies to various magazines and review sites, he came to me and said, “I’ve been thinking and I realized I love you more than my ego.” I asked him to clarify and he said, “All my life, I’ve been taught to be a man. A provider. A protector. To do all the stuff I do. Now, I’m realizing that if I’m going to really support you and this book, if you’re going to be truly equal in this relationship, I have to give up my identity. I have to create a new one that makes room for you.”

Wow. Never saw that coming. Since then, he’s really working on his side of things and it’s been incredible for both of us.

WOW: That's so great to hear! And kudos to him for really listening to what you had to say. What was the hardest chapter to write in the book?

Destiny: The hardest chapter, and this is a spoiler, was writing about getting arrested. All the shame, guilt, and fear came to the surface in that moment and putting it on the page in a way that conveyed the experience made me relive it. That was awful and I still get butterflies in my stomach thinking about people reading it. I’ve learned a lot, but there’s still some residual shame.

WOW: I'm going to steal this one from the discussion questions in the Readers Guide at the back of the book. Based on the events described in The Romance Diet, what did you learn about your relationship with food?

Destiny: I learned that I have to care about it. Not just the caloric or cholesterol content, but the shopping and preparation, the flavors and textures. Food is a wonderful metaphor for how we love ourselves and choose our lives. I was eating what was placed before me. Now, I’m actively engaged.

WOW: What advice would you give to writer conflicted about sharing a revealing story through the pages of a memoir?

Don’t let fear rule you.

Memoir writers do something few are able to do. They release us from our personal hell and remind us we’re not alone. We let people become voyeurs into our lives so they are empowered to change their own. If we’re not willing to share the hard stuff, we’re not doing our job. It’s okay to fictionalize a name and blur some of the details to disguise someone in our story, but we can’t let ourselves off the hook. Otherwise, there’s no point.

WOW: You have one sentence to describe what The Romance Diet is about. Go!

Destiny: The Romance Diet is a memoir that probes the depths of marriage, self-destructive behaviors, and toxic cultural norms.

WOW: In addition to being an author, you've also proven yourself quite adept in business. Has the discipline you've learned in writing also helped you in your retail ventures?

Destiny: I’ve always said art is business and business is art. The trick to both of them, if there is one, is to be honest, genuine, and generous. If you’re not relevant, if your story doesn’t resonate, you’re dead before you ever get off the ground.

WOW: You wrote on your blog that you've only recently started considering yourself an activist? Can you expound upon that thought for us?

I never wanted to rock the boat in typical activist fashion. What I’ve realized as a result of The Romance Diet is that awareness is often not enough. I’ve been aware of key social issues most of my life. That awareness didn’t stop me from perpetuating ingrained behaviors that are destructive to me and the people I love. Knowing that equality is my right didn’t teach me how to be equal. Expecting equality and not knowing how to be equal created a huge identity crisis for me. I think most of this country is in the throes of a similar identity crisis. Whether it is tied to gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation, the crisis takes root in legislation that changed expectations without teaching people how to behave differently or supporting them through that change.

How is an action. I wanted to be equal, but I didn’t act equal. I wanted my husband to be sensitive to my needs, but I wasn’t sensitive to him. I didn’t understand that he was equally imprisoned by a different set of societal expectations. Until I did, nothing between us could change.

Consequently, I’m no longer calling myself a feminist. I prefer to use the word empathist because when you really get down to it, no one is equal yet.

Laws are great, but you can’t legislate identity or behavior. It is in the microcosm of daily life that behaviors change and new identities are forged. My activism is along these lines. I don’t see myself lobbying or protesting. Instead, my goal is to educate and train individuals, couples, and communities to recognize the systemic cultural norms that are poisoning them and to develop empathy for themselves and others. Without empathy, and its resulting behavioral changes, we will never be whole.

WOW: I can't wait for everyone else to check out the book. It created a self-awareness in me that I didn't even know was there. Good luck with all your future endeavors!

----------Blog Tour Dates

Monday, January 11 (today!) @ The Muffin
Stop by for an interview with Destiny and enter to win a copy of The Romance Diet.
http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/

Tuesday, January 12 @ Giving Voice to Your Story
Author Destiny Allison discusses how she found the courage to write her story.
http://www.givingavoicetothevoicelessbook.com/blog/

Thursday, January 14 @ The Unfaithful Widow
Author Barbara Barth reviews The Romance Diet.
http://theunfaithfulwidow.blogspot.com/

Monday, January 18 @ Giving Voice to Your Story
Everyone revises differently. Read about Destiny Allison’s process in this guest post.
http://www.givingavoicetothevoicelessbook.com/blog/

Tuesday, January 19 @ Building Bookshelves
Learn more about Destiny Allison in this author interview.
blogs.republicanherald.com/bookshelves

Wednesday, January 20 @ Create Write Now
Most women struggle with body image and have difficulty loving the person they see in the mirror. Hear Destiny Allison’s personal story.
http://www.CreateWriteNow.com

Friday, January 22 @ Memoir Writer’s Journey

Destiny Allison pens an enlightening post on cultural norms and how they affect women’s self-esteem. Plus, Kathy Pooler reviews The Romance Diet.
http://krpooler.com

Monday, January 25 @ Renee’s Pages
Renee her thoughts about The Romance Diet in this book review.
http://www.reneespages.blogspot.com

Wednesday, January 27 @ Sherrey Meyer, The Writer
Have you ever felt invisible? Destiny Allison shares her own personal experience with it and the role it played in The Romance Diet.
http://sherreymeyer.com

Friday, January 29 @ Puddletown Reviews
Sherrey Meyer reviews The Romance Diet on her book blog.
http://puddletownreviews.com

Thursday, Feb. 4 @ Lisa M. Buske
The long-term effects of trauma is a theme in The Romance Diet. Destiny Allison tells her story.
http://www.lisambuske.com/blog

Friday, February 5 @ Books & Such
Check out this review of The Romance Diet.
http://teripolen.com

***** Book Giveaway Contest *****

Enter to win a copy of The Romance Diet! Just fill out the Rafflecopter form below. We will announce a winner in the Rafflecopter widget on Monday, January 18th!

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Good luck!
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