WOW! Women On Writing Blog: fear of failure

Wednesday, July 05, 2023

Whether the heat or the holiday, I glanced at the calendar where I’d written “WOW! Blog post” and crumpled.

Well, I didn’t literally fall to the ground in a crumpled heap of sweat. But I think my brain probably crumpled inside my head. Just collapsed into a pool of gray mush. Because not a single, solitary idea was left in the old mental file cabinet and time was a-wasting!

Fortunately, that image of a file cabinet saved the day. I remembered that I had a file on my desk marked, “WOW! Post Ideas” and all I had to do was open the file to find…

A whole lot of nothing. A lone sheet of paper waited, one with notes that had been struck through indicating I’d used that idea. UGH. But wait! There in the corner of the folder pocket, a scrap of newspaper. An old, torn, yet glorious scrap of an astrology column. Here is what it said:

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When you muster up the courage to take a chance, that’s something in and of itself. You needn’t couple your daring with the added pressure of demanding that you succeed.

Isn’t that wonderful? You never know what amazingly accurate wisdom you’ll find in an astrology column!

Now, I understand that life is about taking chances. Heck, sometimes, just getting out of bed in the morning is taking a chance. So this generalized horoscope was bound to hit the nail on the head with a vast majority of Libras (including me) as well as pretty much any newspaper reader. But the words resonated specifically for me that day—and why I’m sure I saved it—because I was deep into “Should I or shouldn’t I?” mode on switching the focus of my career.

But isn’t much of any writer’s life about mustering up the courage to take a chance?

For example, when a writer spends money on a critique of a manuscript or when a writer sends out a query to the first agent. (Or the fiftieth agent.) How about when a writer pitches an article to an editor, or when a writer chooses to self-publish a book? Or even when a writer offers classes to other writers. I mean, basically, when a writer goes from thinking about to the act of doing, that takes courage of a special sort.

But what I most love about that horoscope is the next line:

You needn’t couple your daring with the added pressure of demanding that you succeed.

Wow. Imagine how many writers—whether just beginning or considering something new and different—are out there right now, longing to try but stuck in a place of inertia because of fear of failure!

But here is what I wrote on the bottom of the scrap of newspaper:

“Give yourself credit for starting. Starting is for the brave.”

That was my takeaway point. So on this day after celebrating the land of the free and the home of the brave, dare to take a chance with whatever is calling your heart. Be brave!

~Cathy C. Hall

2 comments Cathy C. Hall, fear of failure, horoscope, taking a chance, writing inspiration

Three Reasons Why You Can't Handle the Truth (of Success)

Monday, October 02, 2017

Recently one of the Muffin writers wrote about her fear of failure. After reading Beth’s post, I wondered. Are we afraid of failure? Or sometimes, is it a fear of success that paralyzes us?

For me, I know it's often a fear of success that keeps me from moving forward on a project. Fear of failure? I don't think so. Why? I teach kids who are 13-15. They're hardly ever equipped with a filter on their mouths.

I've seen my name scratched into bathroom stall walls (such as comparing me to a female canine), so the idea of getting a "no" or a nasty letter from an editor doesn't scare me.

However, getting out of my rut does.

Wondering if my "fear of success" theory about myself was completely whackadoodle, I read an article. I realize that I am scared of succeeding, and this might be why:

1) fear of becoming someone else

I get it. With success, a writer is sometimes transformed into somebody else. Their head grows. They puff up with clouds of self-importance. They become too superior to deal with those poor pathetic writers who haven't made it yet.

photo by pixabay

However, I have writer friends who have gotten books published. Lisa Ricard Claro. Cathy C. Hall. Sean McLachlan. Margo Dill. Sue Bradford Edwards. Pat Wahler. None of them (I don't think) are flouncing around in a feather boa and a tiara and charging for autographs. (Sorry, Sean.)

That’s not it.

2) fear of selling out

Some writers think that "selling out" means self-publishing. Other authors consider the compromises that (I guess) must be made when getting a book published in the "traditional" way as a threat to the writer's artistic integrity.

In my opinion, any way you can get your work out there is fabulous, so I don't think this is why fear of success puts me in a state of paralysis.

3) fear of not being able to cope with success

Ding ding ding. We have a winner. I know what my rut is like because I've been stuck in it for decades. I write for the same markets. I submit. I get more rejections than acceptances. I do occasional author events/book signings. It's a life I'm comfortable with.

However, if I put the finishing touches on my manuscript and wrote a decent query and submitted it and snagged some interest and ended up getting it published? Whew. That kind of success would throw me into unknown territory. What kind of expectations would be heaped onto my back? What new pressures would I have to contend with? That level of success would necessitate me becoming a marketing machine... which I've never thought I'd be good at. More spotlights would be shining on me, which would (hopefully) mean reviews (and hopefully some of them would be positive).

Google image

I get it. Failure and rejection are hard to take but I have age on my side. You get to a certain stage of life and it often equates into a I-don't-care attitude. My day job also helped me build a suit of sturdy armor.

No, for me it's fear of success. And hopefully I can soon succeed in overcoming that fear...

How about you? Are you scared of success? Or is it failure that has you fearful?

Sioux Roslawski is afraid of success, but she's trying to overcome it. During the day she works with middle-schoolers who really are polite but also quite honest, resulting in much laughter and much good-intentioned back-and-forth ribbing. If you'd like to read more of her writing or you'd like to cheer her along, please check out her blog.