Do We Need AI Clauses?

 

I love to play with words. I love to move them around, trying to find the most powerful order. I love to wander the house mumbling to myself because the right word is lurking just on the outskirts of my thinking. I love scribbling an idea on the back of the grocery list. I love the feeling when someone reads something I wrote and I can tell they like it. Of course, on other days I'm frustrated, my hair looks like Albert Einstein's and I've erased more than I've written. But I can't stop no matter how many bad days I have. In other words, I'm a writer.

So A.I. has confused me from the beginning. Why would you want a computer to write/improve/edit your work? Doesn't that take all the fun out of writing? The joy of saying, "I wrote this!" 

I guess people have their reasons. Time. Money. Fear. Deadlines. Take your pick. But it was never for me. I don't even let AI write my Facebook posts (even though it politely makes suggests that I promptly ignore). Because I want my words to sound like me not...perfectly polished prose.

Despite not using the controversial generators, I've been watching the AI invasion as a concerned creative person.  I worried briefly about the creepy idea that AI could "learn" to write using some of my writing. Like all writers, I pondered the idea of AI generated novels flooding the marketplace. But surely publishing professionals and readers would immediately reject anything AI generated. For me, AI remained a weird thing in the industry that didn't really touch my life.

Until the Hachette debacle, which ironically sounds like a novel. Successful self-published novel acquired by traditional publisher. Hooray! Reviewers begin questioning if it's AI. Traditional publisher pulls book. And here's the twist - author claims it wasn't them. Their first editor must have used AI.

It's the twist that's given me another thing to add to my worry list. Now it isn't enough that we as writers don't use AI personally. Now we have to make sure that everyone who touches our work throughout the process doesn't use AI. How can we as authors ever be sure what our editors use or don't use? As a writer, I've already had to sign several contracts promising that no AI tools will be used in completing my assignment. Should we be adding no AI clauses to editing contracts now? And how can we be sure our editors are honoring our AI ban?

I'm tired of AI. Can we just go back to red pen editing of yesteryear?

Jodi M. Webb writes from her home in the Pennsylvania mountains. She's also a blog tour manager for WOW-Women on Writing. In her mind she calls AI "Big Al". She isn't a fan of Big Al. Follow her writing and reading life at Words by Webb. 

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2 comments AI, editing, Jodi M. Webb

Writing Isn't Perfect

Well, it's December 26. The Christmas Season is officially over. 

Or is it?

I don't know how Christmas unfolded in your family this year but a pesky bout of the flu left several presents unclaimed under our tree awaiting a visit for Christmas 2.0. Tomorrow, I'll be reluctantly heading out to purchase some clearance wrapping paper and cards for next year. Promises of snowy and icy weather have postponed (canceled?) my brother's waffle breakfast on Sunday. Then there's the friend who wisely schedules her annual holiday party for January, "when everything settles down." Except that means I have to keep my festive red sweater ready for a few more events.

So the holiday I thought was completed, isn't quite.

I find I have the same problem with my writing as I do holidays. Left to my own devices, I could probably refine, rewrite and rethink creative writing pieces indefinitely. I never seem ready to declare something done. In my mind, just one more edit will make it perfect.

Except writing isn't perfect.

This year I'm going to stop striving for that unachievable goal and start asking myself simpler questions. What point or emotion did I want this piece to share? Did I achieve that? Could I read this piece aloud to an audience and be proud of it?

I recently started working with an author who wrote about overthinking. Basically, getting stuck in a cycle of analyzing every detail of a situation and either being paralyzed into inaction or plunging into unhelpful action. This is me with my writing!

I think it's time to declare some pieces I've been worrying over for months (even years) as done and move on to something new. Maybe it's time to send a piece out into the world. Maybe working on a new piece will allow me to come back to this piece again with a fresh viewpoint. Either way, I refuse to allow myself to become trapped by one piece of writing.

This evening I'm starting a new piece of writing that is a bit different than anything I've written before. It may be good. It may be bad. It won't be perfect. But it will be something.

Jodi M. Webb writes from her home in the Pennsylvania mountains about everything from DIY projects to tea to butterflies. Stay tuned for more details about the new piece she's working on in 2026.  She's also a blog tour manager for WOW-Women on Writing. After a December break, she's returning to blogging at Words by Webb. 

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1 comment editing, Jodi M. Webb, writing tips

Self-Publishing: Editorial Assistance Required

 

It can be tempting to ignore critical comments.

Last weekend, my son and his fiancé got married. There was food, dancing, music, and lots of talk. Among other things, I spoke with a new in-law whose daughter is going to start working as an editor. She recently edited her brother’s book. At least she passed on her recommendations. He didn’t do everything she told him to do. 

And that’s his prerogative. Even when I’m doing work-for-hire, I don’t make every change suggested by the team of editors. Sometimes I respond to a comment with extra sources that back up my original sources. Other times I see their point, this thing right here needs to be fixed, but I come up with a different fix that I think combines better with the surrounding text. 

When you self-publish, it can be tempting to ignore even good suggestions. Originally, my title was Help! They Want to Ban My Book. What Do I Do? Even I knew it was too long, but there were additional problems. 

When I posted my cover on Facebook, a friend who owns her own publishing company commented. She told me I needed to eliminate the punctuation marks to make the title more searchable. Otherwise, it can make searching for the title more difficult. What’s the point of creating this book if no one can find it? She suggested a new title - They Want to Ban My Book. 

Nope. No thank you. I knew my title was imperfect, but I didn’t like the new title either. I fiddled and played and came up with Help! They Banned My Book. It was a little better but still had one punctuation mark. So I messaged Ang and told her my problem. She agreed that it would be best to get rid of the punctuation marks. But she took it one step farther. She told me the title should be as close as possible to what someone will search when their book is banned. Her suggestion was What to Do When Your Book Is Banned. 

It wasn’t just that she told me why this should be my title. It just clicked. I immediately liked it. 

When you are self-publishing, it can be tempting to stick with whatever it is you’ve created. Aren’t your words the best? And your illustrations? 

Maybe it’s because I blog and I have a newsletter. Far too often, I’ve written something, reviewed it, and had my computer read the text aloud. But it isn’t until I hit “publish” that the last few errors become visible. Another set of eyes is always a good thing. 

And, sure, there are times that I don’t take the recommendations of one or another editor. But there are many more times that I do. I’ve seen how their recommendations improve my work. In this case it was obvious that a change had to be made. I just wasn’t happy with the first proposed solution so I went in search of another. 

Never give up on making your work better. And remember to take full advantage of your writing community. After all, you want to create the best book possible. 

--SueBE

Sue Bradford Edwards' is the author of over 60 books for young readers.  

• To find out more about her writing, visit her site and blog, One Writer's Journey.  

• Click here to find her newsletter.

She is also the instructor for 3 WOW classes which begin on the first Monday of every month. She teaches:

• Pitching, Querying and Submitting Your Work 

• Research: Prepping to Write Nonfiction for Children and Young Adults 

• Writing Nonfiction for Children and Young Adults 

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Leave a Comment editing, editorial comments, revising, self publishing

Ask the Book Doctor: Why Did You Change My Writing?

By Bobbie Christmas

Q: Your track changes on my manuscript show that you want me to delete a lot of words from my manuscript. Why did you make that recommendation?

A: Please be assured I didn’t randomly select words to delete, and as you can see, many of the words are the same, meaning they were overused. I also rarely removed entire sentences. First let me address a few of the specific words I’d like to see deleted because they are repetitive, superfluous, and/or redundant. I’ll give examples. 

Original: He had objected to her demands when she made them, but she had insisted, and he had relented. 

Preferred: He had objected to her demands when she made them, but she insisted, and he relented. 

I recommended deleting the second and third use of “had” in the same paragraph (and in this case the same sentence) because one use of “had” sets the scene in past perfect tense. Repeating the word leads to loose writing, and creative writers should write tight.

Original: She stood up, walked over to the closet, and then grabbed a scarf.

Preferred: She stood, walked to the closet, and grabbed a scarf. 

I recommended deleting “up,” “over,” and “then” because all are unnecessary. Note how no meaning is lost yet the sentence is tighter.

The following is an example of a sentence I deleted.

Original: He thought she didn’t understand. He turned to her and said, “I don’t think you understand.” 

Preferred: He turned to her and said, “I don’t think you understand.” 

I recommended deleting the first sentence because it tells, rather than shows, and the second sentence, the dialogue, shows and repeats what the first sentence told. It’s always best to show, rather than tell and never wise to show and tell duplicate information.

Q: I see that in my manuscript you changed the order of pronouns and names in some places. Please explain why.

A: In polite language, especially in the narrative, we put our own pronoun last. For example, instead of this: “I and John went to the store,” the correct order is this: “John and I went to the store.” Completely incorrect (although I see it and hear it often) is this: “Me and John went to the store.” We wouldn’t say “Me went to the store,” so you can see why it’s incorrect to say, “Me and John went to the store.”

In other places in the manuscript I saw “me” used correctly, but in the wrong order. For example, this: “He gave orders to me and John.” In this case it should be this: “He gave orders to John and me.”

A writer may, however, intentionally use incorrect grammar in a specific character’s dialogue to indicate the character isn’t well educated or refined. I’d be careful not to have many of the characters speak that way, though, or readers may think it’s the writer who isn’t well educated.

Q: Why did you change some of the pronouns in my manuscript?

A: I substituted names or identifiers in place of pronouns for clarity, especially when more than one character of the same sex appears in the same paragraph. Each pronoun should clearly refer to the last stated noun. Especially when starting a new scene or chapter, names or identifications should precede the use of pronouns. I’ll create a paragraph to show how confusing pronouns can be. Let’s assume the paragraph is the start of a new scene. Here goes:

She combed her blond hair before she applied blush to her cheeks. Janice looked in the mirror to examine her makeup and saw her aide standing behind her. She held a leather portfolio brimming with papers. She turned around before she handed her the papers. She studied the papers before she said, “I’ll take care of this.”

With all those uses of “she,” how can the reader tell who did what? As an editor I would revise the paragraph this way:

Janice combed her blond hair before she applied blush to her cheeks. She looked in the mirror to examine her makeup and saw her aide standing behind her. The aide held a leather portfolio brimming with papers. Janice turned around before her aide handed her the papers. Janice studied the papers before she said, “I’ll take care of this.”

*

Bobbie Christmas is a book editor, author of Write In Style: Use Your Computer to Improve Your Writing, and owner of Zebra Communications. She will answer your questions too. Send them to Bobbie@zebraeditor.com or BZebra@aol.com. Read Bobbie’s Zebra Communications blog at https://www.zebraeditor.com/blog/.

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1 comment Ask the book doctor, Bobbie Christmas, editing, working with editors

Why Good Writers Read Bad Books

 

I've spent the last two weeks thinking about a book I just finished. No, sadly not because it was so great I couldn't wait to tell you all about it. I disliked it so much. This book was a handoff from a friend who gave it to me with the words, 

"This isn't the type of thing I read but I thought you..."

She, in turn, was given it by a friend of hers. Are we endlessly pawning off the only sold copy of this title, hoping to find someone who likes it? Ever the optimist, I sloughed through 300+ pages, certain it would ultimately "get better." By the last page I was asking myself why I had finished it. (Of course, the question of why readers finish books we are clearly not enjoying is a subject for another post.)

Not daring to pass it off to one of my book loving friends, I put it on my growing stack for the local library used book sale. Due to a combination of snow, cold weather (-4° this morning) and a bout of flu, the book stayed at the top of that stack, forcing me to think about it.

Readers are always eager to tell you a hundred different things they love about a book: the twists, the quirky characters, the beautiful setting descriptions, the unusual format, the humor...we will go on and on if given the chance. Have you ever asked a reader their opinion and they didn't like the book? Too often we are brief and unspecific. If we're polite, "It just wasn't for me." If we're direct, "Ugh, no." Sometimes you only get a pained look or a shake of the head. OK, on to the next title.

As only a person on the verge of cabin fever can, I began to obsess about the book. What exactly didn't I like about it? I picked it up one night, leafed through it and made a list!

1. Character Names - Why do two unrelated characters in a book have to have the same first name? This quirk alternately annoyed and confused me. Of all the names in the world, you couldn't give everyone their own name? There were also two sets of related characters with the same first name. Also frustrating but a little more forgivable.
2. Long Chapters - At the beginning of each 50+ page chapter there was a brief paragraph outlining political events happening in the city during the time period. Perfectly fine if you read every chapter in one setting. Stopping in the middle meant losing track of what decade we were in and having to page back to find the chapter beginning for a brush up. There sometimes being years between chapters made it difficult to keep track of how old the characters were at any given time. I had to do math! Also the vagueness about the passage of time didn't help me experience the story. At times I would be asking myself, is this later in the month or is it years later? 
3. Character Evolution - The young man who hid a violent streak under gentlemanly manners became an old man who hid a violent streak under the veneer of money. The timid man eventually became head of the family but remained timid. The young women unsure of her groom's love on their wedding day was still unsure on the day he died. The bitter, homesick young woman died a bitter, homesick old woman. There were no epiphanies, no improvements, no spirals....just a steady march to death as the exact same people they were on page one, just a little older and richer.
4. Impetus - Several times while reading, I put this book down for days and didn't think about it once. Didn't wonder what would happen next, didn't want to finish "just one one chapter", didn't try to sneak in just a few pages. In the beginning, I thought this family that was slowly climbing the economic ladder would be pushed off and have to crawl their way back to the top but , no. Basically they made money, found and lost love, died, made money, found and lost love, died...for several generations. Where were the surprises?

I realize these are just personal dislikes. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who love a generational sage about a slow and steady slog to the top while dealing with confusing time periods and names. But what did I do with this cranky list of mine? I opened up my WIP and read through with these complaints in mind, trying to ensure I wasn't subjecting any future readers to them.

Perhaps that is why we finish reading books we don't like. To pinpoint what we (and potentially our readers) won't like. What do we find annoying, uninspiring, confusing, boring, trite? What exactly makes us say "I don't like that book"? Then we can make a list and apply it to our own writing.

Have you ever been inspired to change your writing by a book you didn't like?

Jodi M. Webb writes from her home in the Pennsylvania mountains about everything from DIY projects to tea to butterflies. She's also a blog tour manager for WOW-Women on Writing and a writing tutor at her local university.  She recently changed a character's name in her WIP because two woman who were close friends both had names that began with the letter M. No taking chances confusing people.Get to know her @jodiwebbwrites,  Facebook and blogging at Words by Webb. 

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6 comments editing, Jodi M. Webb, writing tips

About Gerunds and Participles

 

By Bobbie Christmas

Q: One of my critique partners said I use too many gerunds and participles and said I have several dangling participles. I thought I knew the parts of speech, but I’m not sure what the person is talking about.

A: In simple terms, a participle is a form of a verb (often ending in “ing”) that is used as a modifier, as in the following: the dancing bear. 

A gerund is a present participle used as a noun, as in the following: Sleeping nightly is essential.

The use of too many words that end in “ing” can slow the pace, weaken writing, and become repetitive. They often turn potentially strong verbs into weaker forms: nouns or adjectives.

As adjectives, participles don’t always harm the quality of writing (We laughed at the dancing bears), but when linked to the verb “to be,” “ing” words replace active, more powerful verbs and lead to loose writing. Loose: The bats were hanging by their feet. (Tight: The bats hung by their feet.) Loose: The boat was bumping across the waves. (Tight: The boat bumped across the waves.)

Often the pesky “ing” form hides after began and started. Loose: The monks began chanting in the background. John started sneezing. Tight: The monks chanted in the background. John sneezed.

Save began and started for special times when the action actually begins.

She began her lecture with, “Dear friends and enemies.”

John started to sneeze, but pressed his nose to suppress the urge.

Also avoid gerunds when infinitives are better. Weak: They planned on staying until midnight. Better: They planned to stay until midnight.

Rather than delete every gerund and participle, make sure each one has a reason for existing. For example, the gerund existing in the previous sentence does not detract from the strength of the sentence. Another example of an acceptable gerund: We admired the choir’s singing.

Many writers get into a pattern of overusing participles at the beginnings of sentences. Strong writers, however, avoid overusing any structure, especially one that relies on too many “ing” words.

In the worst case, sentences that begin with “ing” words can lead to dangling participles if not handled correctly. Example of a dangling participle: Waving goodbye, the boat pulled away while we watched. As written, the boat waved goodbye, because the word waving refers to the next noun that did the action, the boat. To correct the sentence, recast it, perhaps this way: We waved goodbye while the boat pulled away. 

What does dangling really mean? Modifying—or descriptive—phrases must have logical relationships to the nearest subject in a sentence. When those words are omitted—when the person or thing who actually performed the activity does not appear in the sentence—the phrase dangles.

Dangling or missing modifiers, however, do not have to involve “ing” words. If something is missing that makes the sentence say something other than what was intended, it is still a dangling modifier. Here’s an example: After college graduation I paid for my son to travel Europe for a summer. In this example the sentence is in essence saying, “After I graduated from college, I paid for my son to travel.” The correction would be something like this: After my son graduated from college, I paid for him to travel Europe for a summer.

Q: I have recently written a novel in Farsi and I have translated the first seventeen pages of it to English. Even though the story line has been of interest to some publishers and agents in US and UK, I could not get them to commit. I am willing to rewrite it, and I would like to know what I should address to interest publishers in America.

A: It’s been my experience that people translating from Farsi use quite a few gerunds and participles (words ending in “ing”), but contemporary American publishers prefer authors to avoid them, because they not only get wordy, but they also often rely on passive verbs (such as forms of “to be”) instead of active verbs. For example, instead of “She was planning a trip to Florida,” publishers might prefer “She planned a trip to Florida.” Instead of “They were dancing in the street,” a strong writer might choose “They danced in the street.”

Also, those who learn Farsi first sometimes then learn British English, which is more elevated than US English. American publishers often expect the writing to be at about a sixth- or seventh-grade level, rather than higher, as British English tends to be. I would avoid using British terms too, such as amidst, amongst, whilst, and towards, when in America we use amid, among, while, and toward. These things are minor in comparison to the story, though, and American publishers want a compelling story peopled with interesting characters. Americans want plenty of plot-related action and dialogue and a satisfying ending, even though it doesn’t have to be a happy one. Contemporary publishers rarely purchase literary writing—which tends to have long, flowery descriptions and such—and prefer tight, active, writing.

*

Bobbie Christmas is a book editor, author of Write In Style: How to Use Your Computer to Improve Your Writing, and owner of Zebra Communications. She will answer your questions too. Send them to Bobbie[at]zebraeditor[dot]com or BZebra[at]aol[dot]com. Read Bobbie’s blog at https://www.zebraeditor.com/blog/.

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Leave a Comment Ask the book doctor, Bobbie Christmas, dangling participles, editing, gerunds, participle, tight writing

Do You Really Need An Editor?

Yes. Yes, you do. 

But my editor would probably prefer an actual post here. And I’m pretty sure I can hear some of you muttering, “Well, Miss Bossypants, you don’t always need an editor.” 

Y’all, I’ve received texts that could have benefited from editing. But for the purpose of today’s topic, I’ll keep the focus on novel-length manuscripts (fiction or non-fiction). So on to the actual blog post (and your arguments). 

BUT MY CRITIQUE GROUP/BETA READERS HAVE CRITIQUED IT 

That’s wonderful! Unfortunately, it does not say that your work is ready for publication. Even if your critique group is made up of all published writers (Gosh, that’s an enviable critique group!) or even if your beta readers also happen to be editors (Wow, that’s the jackpot of beta readers!). As professional as your people may be, they’re not working professionally for you. No doubt, a great critique group and/or beta readers can help you get your manuscript close to ready. But it’s not their job to line edit or developmentally edit. 

OKAY, BUT AN EDITOR WILL DO THAT AFTER I SELL THE BOOK 

Yep, editors are paid to do that job. But one has to sell the book first—and that sale is based on the manuscript submitted. 

Take Manuscript A, with its unique concept and a query/pitch that grabs an agent. But oh, dear, the manuscript is rife with grammar errors and sloppy syntax. That’s a hard no most of the time.

Manuscript B, on the other hand, is a grammarian’s delight and the concept is interesting. The agent (or the agent’s reader) is enjoying the story in the first 25 pages (which have been workshopped to bits!), but around page 45 or so, things start to fall apart. Confusion and chaos creep in and not in a good way. What a shame, thinks the agent, who might send a personal note along with the rejection. 

You simply can’t count your edits before the sale. 

SURE, BUT EDITORS ARE EXPENSIVE! 

Yes, editing can take a chunk out of a writer’s budget. Which, let’s face it, may be pretty meager when a writer is starting out. So what’s a struggling writer to do? A few ideas… 

 Are you in a professional writer’s organization? Use their resources; ask other writers for recommendations. 

Check out writing how-to websites, like here at WOW. And look for courses/editors that fit your book’s genre. 

Explore options like Fiverr. The range in fees for editing can vary widely so be careful choosing based strictly on price. Check reviews and/or finished products. 

Reach out to your accomplished friends. You know that writer, the one in your critique group who writes beautifully and has an eye for commas? She may jump at the opportunity for editing experience. You may be able to negotiate an introductory fee, but even if your friend offers to edit for free, insist on payment. It keeps the relationship professional (and allows you to count the editing as an expense for taxes). 

FINE, BUT I’M SELF-PUBLISHING 

 And I understand. I know how easy it is to look at a ledger sheet with all the publishing costs involved and then think that editing is surely one cost that can be cut. You’re a professional writer, for heaven’s sake! You’ve got this part, right?

Well…if you’re publishing books from your own backlist, books that were professionally edited and published before, then fine, you can skip editing. But if it’s the beginning of the venture, and especially if you’re DIYing the process, hire an editor. Your initial product should be the best it can be to snag readers! And then keep readers by keeping your professional editing edge. 

 Of course, there will always be those writers who waltz in to a conference and sell their half-finished manuscript. Or the writer with a highly polished gem of a manuscript that gets snatched up in the first query. But most of us can’t count on being one of those Unicorn Authors. We’ll need to earn it the hard way (and that means getting an editor).

~Cathy C. Hall

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5 comments Cathy C. Hall, editing, Fiverr

An Editor’s Confession by Chelsey Clammer

 

As an editor, it’s a little absurd that I fear revising words. Not all words. Just mine. I can edit the hell out of your words and bask in the task but sit me down in front of my work and I cringe. 

 

It’s about trusting myself. Or something of that sort. Something about how I fear that I won’t like a single letter of what I’ve written. That while I’m writing, it feels powerful and meaningful and makes sense and has a solid rhythm to it. And then I re-read it. Usually I’m right on that rhythm part because I can get that beat down, but making that beat say something is a different sort of story. It’s a revising story and sometimes when I go to revise, I feel like I’ve shifted genres because when I read it, I’m suddenly in a horror story of words.

 

I almost wrote “shifted genders,” not “genres,” in that previous sentence because I’ve been thinking a lot about genders lately. And how they shift. How I haven’t spent much time considering that gender is also a process of revision. Then I started dating a trans man. Now, I see the way that gender is a narrative we create for ourselves. Even if we don’t physically shift dichotomous genders, we revise the way our gender feels to us throughout our lives. The “tomboy” phase, the full-blown butch phase, then to the powerful femme feeling, then in between the two has been my gender trajectory.

 

When we first started dating, my boyfriend told me about how his first top surgery got botched, so he had to go in for a revision. Those words—that one word—struck me. I know what revision is. That editor profession—take something that’s not working and mess around with it until sings in both sound and meaning. I considered my own revision process.

 

“Were you scared to get top surgery?”

 

“Oh hell no!” my boyfriend replied, pausing in his constant stroking of his glorious, testosterone-induced tuft of a beard to gesticulate with his hands. “I was so excited! I was getting the body I wanted.”

 

I considered this the next day as I faced my own revisions. Not on my body, but my body of work. It felt just as personal, and I sensed my perspective shift. I don’t have to fear this work. Even if I hate every word I wrote, that’s okay. It’s almost the point. I’m here to revise—to get the body of work I want. To make myself, my words sink into my skin and that narrative space I initially envisioned. If not yearned for. 

 

After this conversation with my boyfriend, I started not to fear the revisions as much. Writing, like gender, shifts. It’s why we show up to the page—to ourselves. To bring our art, our bodies, ourselves, and our lives into the space in which we want to exist. And that’s something to get excited about. 

 

 

*

 

 

Chelsey Clammer is the author of BodyHome (Hopewell Publications, 2015) and Circadian (Red Hen Press, 2017), which was the winner of the Red Hen Press Nonfiction Manuscript Award. Her work has appeared in The Normal School, Black Warrior Review, The Rumpus, McSweeney’s, Hobart, Essay Daily, and The Water~Stone Review, among more than one hundred other publications. She is an online creative writing instructor for WOW! Women On Writing. Chelsey received her MFA in Creative Writing from Rainier Writing Workshop. Her next collection of essays, Human Heartbeat Detected, which looks at the ways in which we are "human" to one another, is forthcoming from Red Hen Press (August 30, 2022). Chelsey is currently working on a new collection about the empowering women in her life. Visit her website at www.chelseyclammer.com.

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4 comments Chelsey Clammer, editing, perspective shift, revision, writing shifts

About Tight Writing

(Illustration by storyset - freepik.com)
 

 

By Bobbie Christmas

 

 

Q: I keep on hearing “write tight, write tight,” from fellow writers and others. I’m not so sure what they’re trying to say to me. The whole darned issue is driving me a little crazy. How can I ever know what’s loose and what’s tight writing?

 

A: Creative writing, whether fiction or nonfiction, reads best and sells better when it gets to the point without wasted words. If I were to tighten your question, I might recast it this way: 

 

I keep hearing “write tight.” I’m not sure what people mean. The issue drives me crazy. What is tight writing? 

 

The recast says the same thing as the original, but it’s tighter.

 

Writers who grew up reading classics filled with flowery prose may think they must write the same way if they want to be successful. Many writers “back in the day,” however, were paid by the word. Elaborate descriptions added to the word count and paid the author more. Most classics are considered literary or scholarly, but their style won’t work for today’s readers. Contemporary style calls for clean, tight writing. Fiction readers want a story with an active plot, dialogue that’s related to the plot, and action. They don’t want to read long descriptions of people, places, and things. Nonfiction readers want information and examples, but they don’t need repetition or digression.

 

Tight writing is devoid of unnecessary words and repetition. It relies on active voice (the boy threw the ball), rather than passive voice (the ball was thrown by the boy). It spurns gerunds and participles (“ing” words) whenever possible.

 

I’ll give a typical paragraph in a memoir as an example and then show my tighter version after my edits. 

 

Original

 

Well, I remember seeing a very large package on the front doorstep of my house one morning. I started to shriek, “It’s here! My very own books are arriving.” I could hardly breathe when I was rushing to the front door so I could get the box, bringing it inside.

 

Tighter

 

When I saw a large package on the doorstep one morning I shrieked, “My books are here!” I rushed to the front door and brought the box inside.

 

As you can see, the tighter version deleted superfluous words and replaced weak verbs with strong ones. 

 

In memoirs, especially, I see “I remember” far too often. Of course the author remembers; otherwise he or she couldn’t be writing about it.

 

In fiction and nonfiction manuscripts I edit, I see dozens of words that can be deleted without affecting the final result. While the following piece of dialogue is grammatical, what would you delete to make it more realistic and tighter? “Well, John, I know your eldest daughter, Denise, is about to graduate from high school, so what do you intend to do to celebrate with her?”

 

Here's what I recommend: “Denise is about to graduate. What are your plans to celebrate with her?” In real life John knows that Denise is his daughter, that she’s his eldest, and that she’s graduating from high school, not college. All those things can be deleted. In addition, when two people are the only ones speaking, they rarely call each other by name unless they’re angry with each other.

 

I edit manuscripts and can tighten a manuscript for a price. It’s time consuming, though, so it’s not cheap. Instead I recommend my book Write In Style. The book explores and explains many words and phrases that writers can find and refine in their own manuscripts.

 

Tight writing is strong writing; however writers should initially write without thinking about writing tight. Get the story down first. In the next drafts delete superfluous words and replace weak verbs with strong ones. You’ll be amazed at the results.

 

 

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Bobbie Christmas is a book editor, author of Write In Style: How to Use Your Computer to Improve Your Writing, and owner of Zebra Communications. She will answer your questions too. Send them to Bobbie@zebraeditor.com or BZebra@aol.com. Read Bobbie’s blog at https://www.zebraeditor.com/blog/.

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1 comment Ask the book doctor, Bobbie Christmas, editing, write tight

Sound it Out

By Chelsey Clammer

I will forever be in love with the guitar instructor who figured out how to play the opening music for the TV show "The X-Files" on electric guitar. How he was able to listen to the song, figure out the notes by ear, then he taught me how to play the theme music to my favorite TV show for an upcoming recital. That was decades ago. How decades later I still think it's cool the instructor could play the song by ear. Perhaps this is the epitome of engaged listening.

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Consonants take up some space in my mouth and do that thing where they and parts of me make up words kind of like were we to sing.

That sentence is a joke.

That sentence is a joke in the sense that it just sounds ridiculous.

That sentence is a joke that is supposed to be an example of what not to do.

The following sentence is not a joke:

Consonants gather in my mouth, waiting to be sounded out by tongue by lips by a jaw making movement. And then the teeth for the end—to bite off a word, clip its ending. Words pushed out of mouth and I'm left with the feeling of the light vowels, instead of the cumbersome consonants.

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I think of how musicians can figure out and play a song by ear. Notes that can be understood by an astute listener. Notes that create a language. What does sound say? As where the vibrations of strings guide one sound to the next. One motion of the hard to the next. The strum of experience. Thrum.


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This is really about editing. How I can hear an essay and edit it by ear. Where I can recognize how this sounds weird. Move these beats of syllables to a different sentence to even out the pace and rhythm. I used to think about editing as a type of science or maybe math. The obvious metaphor of a puzzle and how we can push that concept just a bit further. Can figure out what goes where and what works well together to create a fuller picture. Or perhaps writing is a problem that needs to be solved. The solution is found in the method of approaching it.

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The collection of off-notes and melodies. The collection of sound finding meaning. The collection of sentences building on themselves to make a mountain of meaning.

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Follow my ear through each word. Trust that you'll know yes. That's it when you hear it. The subtle differences not just in meaning, but sound, too. Scroll, flip through a thesaurus until you hear the right term. Now run with it. Pace yourself. Get into the rhythm of language.


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Now sound something out. Best technique tip I ever received from another writer: read your work out loud. Or even better: record yourself reading your essays, then listen to the recording for pauses and inflections and pace and rhythm and all of those things our creative voices want to sing.

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Informative section of this column:

There are many software programs you can use for free to record yourself reading. Some even read for you.

Natural Readers: https://www.naturalreaders.com/

GoldWave: http://www.goldwave.com/

Audacity: http://www.audacityteam.org/

A relatively comprehensive list can be found HERE.

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What all of this means: listen to yourself. Listen to the ways in which you put paragraphs together in order play. Hear the words of your writing and keep aware of the sounds on the page. Edit by ear.


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Chelsey Clammer is the award-winning author of Circadian (Red Hen Press, 2017) and BodyHome (Hopewell Publications, 2015). A Pushcart Prize-nominated essayist, she has been published in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The Normal School, Hobart, The Rumpus, Essay Daily, The Water~Stone Review and Black Warrior Review, among many others. Her third collection of essays, Human Heartbeat Detected, is forthcoming from Red Hen Press. You can read more of her writing at: www.chelseyclammer.com.

Chelsey is also a WOW! Women on Writing instructor. Check out her upcoming class, WHAT OUR BODIES HAVE TO SAY: Writing About, Writing with the Body.  More information about our classes can be found on our classroom page.

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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
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1 comment Chelsey Clammer, editing, listening, WOW class, WOW instructor