WOW! Women On Writing Blog: dealing with negative self-talk

Thursday, December 29, 2022

This post is arriving a few hours late because, well, like many of us, I’ve lost track of what day it is during our holiday break. And to be honest, it’s been glorious. For so many years I felt like I couldn’t relax and enjoy time with my family during the month of December. I was always on a deadline, and even when no one else around me was working (sales reps, publishers, freelance writers) I was still sweating out the planning for the February issue of a monthly magazine.

This year, I haven’t had to worry about that and was able to focus on producing two new episodes of my podcast, indulge in some reading, and plan revisions for a novel I wrote last year. We’ve done several trips this fall to visit my daughter who is in college in Alabama, so we decided to stay at home and not travel anywhere besides a day trip or two on this break. I’ll admit there have been a few moments where I’ve wondered to myself, “Should I be doing something right now?” Then I remind myself that I’ve been given the gift of time, which is what I always wanted, to focus on my own writing projects and creative endeavors and not someone else’s timeline. I've discovered the foreign language app DuoLingo, became obsessed, and can now almost be considered fluent in Spanish. (I do need to start working on creating my new podcast website, but I’ll hold off on that another day). But when you’ve spent much of your adult life hustling for that next assignment or contract as a freelance writer, that can be hard to embrace.

I’m also trying to follow the advice of Sue Bradford Edwards and her post the other day, "Give Yourself 5 Gifts This Christmas.” Like most writers, I have a negative inner critic that likes to show up on days when I least expect it. “Why aren’t you published by now? Your writing isn’t that great—you have good ideas, but your execution stinks. That editor rejected your pitch a few weeks ago, and she was right to do so. Why don’t you have more downloads for your podcast if your writing is so special?” No, no, no. I have awards (some with cash prizes) on my resume that prove I don’t stink as bad as the negative voice claims I do, I’m a self-taught novelist, and my podcast is a brand I created and am continuing to grow. Now that I have more time to focus on the projects I love, I plan to kick that voice to the curb more and more.

What have you been doing during the holidays? I hope you’ve been granted a glorious block of time to work on what brings you joy, and get re-energized for the New Year!

Renee Roberson is an award-winning writer who also produces the true crime podcast, Missing in the Carolinas.