Showing posts with label Sheila Bender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sheila Bender. Show all posts

Sometimes Our Story Has to Find Shelter to Be Told

Friday, September 09, 2022
By Sheila Bender

Author Brenda Miller coined the term “hermit crab essay” when teaching her students a personal essay structure that delivers surprising results. Not only has the term become widely used, it has also educated many about hermit crabs: anomuran decapod crustaceans that have adapted to occupy empty scavenged mollusk shells to protect their soft abdominal exoskeleton.

Important to note: they must find shelter produced by other organisms or risk being defenseless.

How often do we sit down to write something so important to us that is difficult to start? Or perhaps we have only a hazy idea or feeling that something is there to be written, but we don’t know how we will find out what it is. Either way, we may feel stymied from defenseless in the face of the enormous task.

That’s when borrowing the protective shell of another kind of writing helps. That writing might be a grocery list, a calendar, a bus schedule, an address book, a map, a form letter, a manual or even a prayer, among so many more possibilities. Each of these are a story themselves moving over time and containing specifics from which scenes can spring by association. The shell of the common form we’ve encountered helps us find our writing occasion.

One of my students presented me with a piece of writing that she didn’t know what to do with. She had written about people in her address book. So much had changed—friends had died, moved, or grown ill. What could her address book tell her about what she was to know?

Here is an excerpt of the work by Suzan Huney after we talked about where a next draft could take her. The excerpt starts after she writes from the letter K, where her sister’s address appears, and reminisces about their times together:

I close my address book, but instead of working on my Christmas cards as planned I get out my inheritance from Grandma Cooper: her address book. It is a 5 1/2 inch by 4-inch pink notebook and inscribed inside the cover is “Given me by Suzie, Christmas 1960.”

The pages are aged a subtle yellow. The majority of addresses are crossed out with large, bold X’s. That’s what happens when you live to be 94, lots of X’s.

Grandma didn’t bother with alphabetizing and names appear randomly O, W, C, L, and B. Some names, like Harold and Flossie and Oscar and Elvira, are nearly obscured by heavy X’s. There are addresses with no zip codes, and phone numbers like GR2-5228. Recorded in the back of Grandma’s address book, in script so small I almost need a magnifying glass to read, are poems, Bible scripture, and Grandma’s Choice Bits.

I heard her voice as I read out loud. I worry I putter I push and shove Hunting little molehills to make mountains of.

Grandma kept track of old friends from North Dakota where she and Grandpa lived until their retirement from farming, and then their move out West She stayed in contact with grandsons with military FBO addresses, and her many relatives scattered like Johnny’s apple seeds. Her letters often included a Choice Bit like this one that Grandma sent to me when I was away at college:

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Promise yourself to think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best. Promise yourself to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements of the future.

***

When Suzy begins writing her Christmas cards, she returns to her own address book at the letter L and writes to Lenny, a childhood friend of the girls. She writes, “Judy is not fat,” referring to the way Lenny always teased Judy. We soon learn that Judy has been diagnosed with mast cytosis:

…a rare life-compromising, life-threatening disease. Her body produces huge levels of histamines that cause an abnormal accumulation of mast cells to form in her skin. The freckles on her insides are what worry me. These mast cells could accumulate in her liver, spleen and lymph nodes.

We know the reader fears that all the Xs in both the address books may someday soon include her sister, who she resolves to support, promising herself (despite her fear of loss), as her grandmother instructed, to expect only the best.

I have long treasured Suzay Huney’s essay and the way it demonstrates the beautiful way adopting a shell allows us to write into being what we have had inside.

It is a good idea as writers to practice the Hermit Crab method of creating an essay. Who knows what we might say between the lines of a recipe, say, or instructions on how to use Google Maps or even a bus schedule for a place we have never visited?

***

Sheila Bender, founder of 
WritingItReal.com, is the author of many books on writing, including the popular Writing Personal Essays: Shaping and Sharing Your Life Experience and Creative Writing DeMystified. Her memoir is entitled A New Theology: Turning to Poetry in a Time of Grief. Her newest book, Since Then: Poems and Short Prose will be available in spring 2022. She has been updating previously published books. Two of them are now available in print and digitally on Amazon and through bookstores: Writing in a Convertible with the Top Down, co-authored with Christi Killien Glover, and Sorrow’s Words: Writing Exercises to Heal Grief. As a writer, teacher and editor, she believes that writing so others understand our hearts and minds helps us understand ourselves, heal grief and sadness and grow. She has presented at conferences and writers' centers including Centrum Foundation's summer Port Townsend Writer's Conference, the Whidbey Island's writer's conference workshops, the Writer's Workshoppe in Port Townsend, WA, and the Kahini writing program's writer's workshops and served as a Distinguished Lecturer in Poetry at Seattle University.

--Sheila is also a WOW! Women on Writing instructor. Her class, Writing the Hermit Crab Essay and Other Related Creative Nonfiction Forms, starts on September 19th, and her class, Writing the Five-Minute Memoir starts October 10th.

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Sparking Your Writing Using Abantu

Friday, August 05, 2022
By Sheila Bender

What is Abantu?

Years ago, poet Robert Hass taught a short couplet form that he had read was an oral tradition among the Abantu people of Africa. In class, he recited this couplet:

The sound of an elephant’s tusk cracking
The voice of an angry man

It was an example of the oral poetry that the Abantu tribe members created as they worked. One person offered an image and another would respond with a an unrelated image that when paired with the first one provided a sensory experience. The participants created something like similes (the sound of an elephant’s tusk cracking is like the voice of an angry man).

Whether you imagine that the elephant’s tusk breaks as a consequence of the animal knocking into a tree or that the cracking is the noise the tusk causes when the elephant uses it to fell a tree, the sound has a tangible meaning when compared to the voice of an angry man.

Try creating sound, sight, taste, touch, smelling and hearing related images for a first line of an abantu couplet:

Clothes fresh from the dryer

Clothes tumbling in the dryer

Clothes going into the dryer


Next “answer back” to these lines with an image that creates the same physical sensation you got from the first line:

Clothes fresh from the dryer
Patch of carpet where my cat lies in sunshine

Clothes tumbling in the dryer
Leaves and paper blown by the wind

Clothes going into the dryer
Seaweed lying on the beach

Try some more with these first lines:

The cornflakes in my bowl

Waiting for the school bus

Kids eating in the cafeteria

Sitting at my desk

The lights in the ceiling

Lockers along the hallway
 
Here are some sample responses:

The cornflakes in my bowl
Sand bars in a bay

Waiting for the school bus
A jellybean out of the bag

Kids eating in the cafeteria
Undulating kelp

Sitting at my desk
Piloting a space craft

The lights in the ceiling
Egg cartons in the supermarket

Lockers along the hallway
An army waiting


If most of the images turn out to be visual in content (which most often happens at first) try putting sound or smell into your work instead of relying totally on visual images and likenesses:

My mother’s voice
Water in a fountain

My baby’s cry
Siren’s behind our car

The star jasmine at night
Powder on a baby

Bubble gum out of the wrapper
The plastic skin of a Barbie doll

Taste may be harder:

A cracker with no butter
Brown paper bag in my mouth

The rubber bands on my braces
Tofu

Sometimes the sense of touch needs practice. You can do that with first lines about textures:

My wool hat on my head
Blades of dry grass

Touching the skin of a dolphin
The smooth part of the peel under an eggshell

The rough skin of an orange
Stucco on a building


Developing facility with association, you foster new ways of looking at, touching, smelling, tasting and listening to the world. It keeps the writing mind oiled and ready to go:

I went downstairs for breakfast. My mother had put cornflakes in a bowl for me and I poured milk over the brown flakes. They peeked out of the milk, sand bars in the bay where my father used to take me fishing.

A beginning to a story about fishing with Father.

Valuing associational thinking both encourages good writing and the spirit of play essential in its creation.

***  

Sheila Bender, founder of WritingItReal.com, is the author of many books on writing, including the popular Writing Personal Essays: Shaping and Sharing Your Life Experience and Creative Writing DeMystified. Her memoir is entitled A New Theology: Turning to Poetry in a Time of Grief. Her newest book, Since Then: Poems and Short Prose will be available in spring 2022. She has been updating previously published books. Two of them are now available in print and digitally on Amazon and through bookstores: Writing in a Convertible with the Top Down, co-authored with Christi Killien Glover, and Sorrow’s Words: Writing Exercises to Heal Grief. As a writer, teacher and editor, she believes that writing so others understand our hearts and minds helps us understand ourselves, heal grief and sadness and grow. She has presented at conferences and writers' centers including Centrum Foundation's summer Port Townsend Writer's Conference, the Whidbey Island's writer's conference workshops, the Writer's Workshoppe in Port Townsend, WA, and the Kahini writing program's writer's workshops and served as a Distinguished Lecturer in Poetry at Seattle University.

--Sheila is also a WOW! Women on Writing instructor. Her class, Writing the Hermit Crab Essay and Other Related Creative Nonfiction Forms, starts on September 19th! Reserve your spot here.
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First Readers Help You Know More Than You Thought You Knew About What You Wanted to Say

Wednesday, April 17, 2013
by Sheila Bender
 
Finding out the impact of your drafts on readers can help you be brilliant on the page when you revise. Here's how to get the most help from early readers:
Have them answer these questions after reading what you've written:
  • What words and phrases remain memorable after you’ve heard my essay?
  • What feelings do you experience from hearing or reading my essay that you think are intended?
  • What feelings do you have that interfere with the ones the essay is going for? Where in the draft does that happen?
  • Where are you curious to know more?
All responders, those who know the situation and those who don’t, will usually want to see more than you’ve given them. The ones who were there and know the situation you are writing about may have memories that will be useful to you; they may also wish for you to include things they remember only because they were left out of your account. Responders who don’t know the situation may be so interested in you or what you have on the page so far, that they think they want to know much more than the essay ultimately will require. There is magic in having these responses, though. In adding in information that will satisfy some of their curiosities, you usually redirect the readers’ attention and in final versions, they no longer think they need to know more.

If you listen to responses to these four questions, you will have a great head start every time you start a revision. You will find it easier to shape your essay for finding and communicating insight.

When you rewrite, if what you wanted to say was misinterpreted or not picked up, you’ll find a way to be sure the experience is in there. Sometimes, readers are smarter than you are—they see what the writing says and what it says is amazing and you can run with it.

For instance, a student of mine thought she was writing a piece putting herself down for being a clutterer and promising herself (and the world) she would do better. When I read the piece, cluttering sounded delicious as she described it—maybe not PC but wonderfully rich. My response was that I enjoyed the clutter and the connections she could make by looking at the things around her. Originally, the author had a statement in her work about doing as the anti-clutter movement says should be done. After my response as well as the whole groups’, she came across an article in the NY Times that said, “Studies are piling up that show that messy desks are the vivid signatures of people with creative, limber minds (who reap higher salaries than those with neat “office landscapes”) and that messy closet owners are probably better parents and nicer and cooler than their tidier counterparts. She could use a quote from the article s an epigraph for the essay her own words steered her toward.

To bring an essay to successful completion: write and show your writing to trusted readers and if you listen with an open ear, their responses will help you find your deepest truths.

***

Sheila Bender's class, Creating Poems and Personal Essays from Journal and Journal Style Writings, starts Friday, May 3, 2013. Enrollment is limited to 10 students and early registration is recommended. For details, visit our classroom page.



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