by Raven Carluk
It's been eighteen months since Benjamin the puppy joined the family. He's been a bundle of laughs, playful and happy, and desperate for everyone to love him. And I mean everyone, including the cats.
Unfortunately for him, my cat Mackey is not a fan of dogs. He couldn't believe that I had allowed this bouncy, uncontrollable fluffball into his house. Worse, I wouldn't make it leave him alone.
As I spent most of the last two years playing referee to them, I began to see parallels between my boys and my writing career. The harder Ben tried to be in the cat's face and get liked, the more Mackey hated him and rejected the puppy. The rejection only hurt Ben's feelings and made him wonder why; exactly how I felt after every post that went unanswered.
Why was my enthusiasm not rewarded by multitudes of readers? Was I not good enough? Was I doing something wrong? Perhaps if I sounded more excited in my tweets, or just kept working on the presentation, someone would like me. These unknown potential followers weren't responding, so I didn't know what I was doing wrong, and I just had to keep trying. One more antic in an attempt to win them over.
Watching the dog and cat interact, I realized I had been acting just like Benjamin. I wanted everyone to like me, and I was getting stressed out when they didn't. It was that stress that made me take such a long break from writing, hoping that an answer would just appear to me some day.
The answer didn't magically appear in plain text. I had to take that step back and watch the drama play out through my pets to understand. I couldn't be in everyone's face all the time, and I couldn't force them to like me. I could only be myself, and I would either gain new readers or I wouldn't. Followers come organically, and no amount of exuberance changes that fact. It's certainly nothing personal, nothing that I'm doing wrong.
Mackey and Benjamin have finally found their balance. The puppy stopped trying to be liked, and the cat finally accepts his companionship. Maybe even a sort of friendship.
And I have a new inner peace and understanding for myself. Not trying would do more for my career, and my sense of well-being, than spending my energy making desperate pleas for strangers to read my books. Because of my dog and cat, I know I need to spend my time simply being the best me and let what will happen happen.
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Raven Corinn Carluk, author of paranormal romance and dark fantasy, resides in Vancouver WA with her family and multitude of pets. She is a multi-faceted creative, and enjoys a good story no matter the medium. Keep informed and enjoy free reads at RavenCorinnCarluk.Blogspot.Com
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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
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It's been eighteen months since Benjamin the puppy joined the family. He's been a bundle of laughs, playful and happy, and desperate for everyone to love him. And I mean everyone, including the cats.
Unfortunately for him, my cat Mackey is not a fan of dogs. He couldn't believe that I had allowed this bouncy, uncontrollable fluffball into his house. Worse, I wouldn't make it leave him alone.
As I spent most of the last two years playing referee to them, I began to see parallels between my boys and my writing career. The harder Ben tried to be in the cat's face and get liked, the more Mackey hated him and rejected the puppy. The rejection only hurt Ben's feelings and made him wonder why; exactly how I felt after every post that went unanswered.
Why was my enthusiasm not rewarded by multitudes of readers? Was I not good enough? Was I doing something wrong? Perhaps if I sounded more excited in my tweets, or just kept working on the presentation, someone would like me. These unknown potential followers weren't responding, so I didn't know what I was doing wrong, and I just had to keep trying. One more antic in an attempt to win them over.
Watching the dog and cat interact, I realized I had been acting just like Benjamin. I wanted everyone to like me, and I was getting stressed out when they didn't. It was that stress that made me take such a long break from writing, hoping that an answer would just appear to me some day.
The answer didn't magically appear in plain text. I had to take that step back and watch the drama play out through my pets to understand. I couldn't be in everyone's face all the time, and I couldn't force them to like me. I could only be myself, and I would either gain new readers or I wouldn't. Followers come organically, and no amount of exuberance changes that fact. It's certainly nothing personal, nothing that I'm doing wrong.
Mackey and Benjamin have finally found their balance. The puppy stopped trying to be liked, and the cat finally accepts his companionship. Maybe even a sort of friendship.
And I have a new inner peace and understanding for myself. Not trying would do more for my career, and my sense of well-being, than spending my energy making desperate pleas for strangers to read my books. Because of my dog and cat, I know I need to spend my time simply being the best me and let what will happen happen.
* * *
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
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