Every now and then, I run into a major sense of self-doubt about my own writing. It's as if a gong goes off in my head, and suddenly, I think: I have no idea what I'm doing.
This experience came to mind recently when revising a story I've been working on for years. It's been a cumbersome little beast. I've plugged along, made progress, and hope to have a submittable version ready this year. And somewhere along the writing process recently, that thought came to my mind—that nagging self-doubt that says I have no idea what I'm doing.
I'm sure many of us feel that way about writing or other areas of our lives and careers. I've dealt with terrible anxiety about my freelance work lately. And often, the source of our doubt isn't a naysayer or a rejection letter. It's our own head.
Imagine if the doubt we express to ourselves about ourselves, we expressed to other people. Imagine going up to a writing friend and saying, "You're not much of a writer." Or "That isn't even realistic." Or "You think that's worthy of submission? Psh." They'd be offended. Likely, that friendship wouldn't last long.
I'm not saying that there aren't neg heads in the world that say these things. But why do join them? Why do we say these things to ourselves or allow those thoughts to linger?
I wanted to share a trick if you are in that spiral of negative self-talk or self-doubt. I'm sure most of us have heard this advice one way or another throughout our lives. It's that wisdom shared by radio host Bernard Meltzer. He says, "Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid."
While the adage is applied to speaking to others, the same advice could be said of what we say to ourselves. In fact, you may even want to try writing out negative talk and reply to those questions: is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it helpful?
My biggest challenge this year is overcoming anxiety and self-doubt. It's been my beast of burden. Yet, I'm facing it head-on and not letting it stop me. I encourage you to do the same. While there are plenty of hurdles in achieving writing success, the last thing you want is to become the reason you don't continue with your goals or dreams.
Nicole Pyles is a writer who has been published in Better Homes and Gardens, The Spruce, Tom's Guide, and other outlets. Her fiction has appeared in The Gold Man Review, Sky Island Journal, The Voices Project, Arlington Literary Journal, and more. Follow her blog at World of My Imagination.
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