WOW! Women On Writing Blog: writing relationships

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

The relationships between the characters in a book matter just as much as the relationships we have in real life. The most popular stories involve characters we relate to and a believable story line. Sometimes the most relate-able moments in the book are the ones happening beyond the story line. Readers love to hear about a mother and daughter who have a close-knit relationship, but if you don't add a bit of conflict and the occasional disagreement readers will have a hard time connecting to your characters. Similarly, if a couple is constantly fighting and the story lacks moments of tenderness and caring, the reader will feel you've left something out. I find myself writing those little "human" details in after my first draft. The first draft includes the major moments in each relationship, but it's during the edits that I find I'm lacking those believable relationship happenings.

The closer attention I pay, I find myself doing this same sort of faux pas in real life. I love my husband dearly, but I don't always talk about how he leaves crumbs on the counter every time he has a piece of toast. I fail to mention that he gets his dishes to the sink but can't seem to load them into the dishwasher. I want people to see how amazing he is, so I leave out anything that could be construed as negative. What happens then is, people leave a conversation thinking "he's too good to be true - I wonder what's going on?" None of us are 100% hero or villain. Even the darkest of villains may have a soft spot for his mother and even the best daughter may let her mother's call go to voicemail while muttering cuss words under her breath. To have real relationships or a believable story line, we need to sprinkle in those times that make us human. The tender moments. The moments of frustration. Those ugly crying in the shower or can't get out of bed moments.

Have you ever read a story you couldn't relate to because the relationships didn't feel real? Because the characters were either too good or too bad? Are you a writer who has advice about making those relationships work? Share your reader and writer thoughts here - help make the rest of us better when it comes to real life relationships AND book relationships!

Thank You!

Hugs,

~Crystal

PS - my adorable, good at sports, funny son got kicked off the bus for the rest of the week. I don't like to talk about or write about that kind of stuff, but it's what makes us real. (dripping ice cream, poor park jobs, and muddy feet make us pretty real too!)

Crystal is a busy Wisconsin mom and auntie and wears many hats.

You can find Crystal riding unicorns, taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other

stuff here, and at her personal blog - Crystal is dedicated to turning life's lemons into lemonade!

2 comments believable characters, books we love, Characters, relating to characters, relationships matter, writing relationships

Manuscripts: A Love Affair

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Last year, I had a series of relationships which ended badly. I’m talking manuscript relationships. They all started out well. My characters were compelling, my ideas rich. I was eager to see how the story would develop and plunged in headfirst, giving it my all, talking about it to anyone who would listen. I was sure this was “the one.”

But after a few chapters, my enthusiasm waned. Our “romance” fizzled out. I couldn’t muster the energy to commit. The spark wasn’t there anymore. Feeling dejected and defeated, I did what any desperate writer would do: I ghosted* my manuscripts.

Several months ago, I read a “Dear Amy” – she’s a Washington Post columnist who gives advice to readers in need – about a woman who felt stuck. She’d had a series of romantic relationships, but they all ended in heartache. The woman didn’t know how to break out of this cycle. Amy advised the woman to switch her routine, to find romantic partners in brand new places, and to choose people who were the opposite of her usual type.

Amy’s answer made perfect sense to me and, the more I thought about her answer, the more I could apply it to my manuscript relationships. Maybe it was time to try something new.

An idea for a children’s picture book sat in the back of my mind. It had been there a while. Despite my lack of confidence, because I’d never attempted to write a picture book before, I took Amy’s advice, pulled the idea forward, and got started. Each word in a picture book needs love and attention, and I spent a great deal of time nurturing the overarching theme, choosing the perfect action words, and completing a sweet, beautiful little story about a small girl and her comfort object.

In one short week, I had a picture book manuscript I was proud of. It was complete, polished, and wonderful. We had a lasting relationship. In a small way, moving out of my comfort genre and trying out a new relationship helped me fall in love with writing again.

Writing and finishing the picture book was exactly what I needed to move forward with a YA fiction project. Picture books need love and attention, but so do YA novels! After finishing the picture book manuscript, I felt invigorated, and set to work on an outline for a current work in progress that I still had feelings for.

I think it might be the one.

*Teenager lingo for ending a relationship by disappearing from the other person’s life completely. No calls. No texts. Unfriended from all social media. Simply gone.

Bethany Masone Harar is an author, teacher, and blogger, who does her best to turn reluctant readers into voracious, book-reading nerds. Check out her blog here and her website here.