Friday Speak Out!: A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet—Or Would It?

By Charlotte Whitney

Names define us; often they thrust us into places and situations we desire, or conversely, find unpleasant or even despicable. I chose to name the main character in my upcoming book A Tiny Piece of Blue, an unusual name. The reader is introduced to a thirteen-year-old girl as “Silly” at the beginning of the book, but we soon find out it’s a nickname for “Silstice.” When Silly was born on the winter solstice, December 21, Silly’s mother misunderstood the midwife and thought her baby was born on the winter “silstice,” and she believed it would be a good omen to name her Silstice.

After Silly faces a “dark night of the soul” experience, one that tests her limits, she chooses to be called her given name Silstice and let go of the immature implications of “Silly.” This is a breakpoint, a time when Silstice recognizes she is in charge of her own life. She can no longer expect to wait for others to take care of her. Silstice gains a sense of agency, taking control of her actions, recognizing her sense of self, and with that takes on the more mature name.

When in grad school, one of my roommates told me a story of the previous year when she was teaching in a poor neighborhood on the south side of Chicago. One of her female students was named Syphilis, pronounced sa-fi-lis with the accent on the middle syllable. After a few weeks my roommate asked the student how she came to receive her first name. The student answered seriously, “My mother saw the name on a brochure when she was pregnant in the waiting room of a doctor’s office.”

While we may crack a smile at the mother’s naivete, this example does exemplify how well-intentioned names can provoke the opposite effect. My husband, a clinical psychologist, has had clients who have chosen to change names for powerful emotional reasons. Perhaps the name conveyed a wrong impression. Perhaps as a child they were bullied because of the name. Perhaps they didn’t want to bear the burden of a family name.

When I was working with student leaders at the University of Michigan I devised a particular exercise in team building where we all wrote down our complete names and told each other about any association with the name, any connection with family members, any numbers or juniors connected with our names and any other relevant items. Then we talked about what we liked and didn’t like about our names. The exercise opened up discussion and connected us to each other in ways never expected.

So when you read about Silly/Silstice in A Tiny Piece of Blue, think about your own name. Has it served you well? Would you consider changing it? Like Silstice you may be asking others to call you by a different name, one that holds different nuances, different connotations. It could provide a whole new self-definition, a new world view.

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CHARLOTTE WHITNEY grew up on a Michigan farm and often heard stories about the difficult years of the Great Depression. Her widely acclaimed debut historical novel, Threads: A Depression Era Tale was followed by the historical mystery The Unveiling of Polly Forrest, which won multiple awards. She is also the author of two nonfiction books and a romance novel. Her new novel, A Tiny Piece of Blue, comes out in February 2025. https://www.charlottewhitney.com

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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
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