Interview with Anita Allen: Q3 2024 CNF Contest Second Place Winner

Anita’s Bio: Although neurotypical, Anita is part of a vibrant neurodiverse family, a trait shared by at least one of the family pets. Her writing explores the intersections of neurodiversity and mental health, intergenerational trauma and breaking cycles. Anita is a Physiotherapist, Certified Coach, Amherst Writers & Artists (AWA) facilitator and graduate of The Humber School for Writers, The Sarah Selecky Writing School, and Spark Your Story Intensive. Anita offers writing workshops and retreats, merging her passions for wellness and creativity. You can find out more about her upcoming offerings at www.anitaallen.ca. 

If you haven't done so already, check out Anita's award-winning story "Funhouse" and then return here for a chat with the author. 

WOW: Congratulations on placing second in the Q3 2024 Creative Nonfiction Contest! How did you begin writing your essay and how did it and your writing processes evolve as you wrote? 

Anita: Funhouse began as a traditionally structured essay that just wasn’t working. It felt clunky, vague, and fragmented in early attempts. The subject matter is difficult, and I was avoiding confronting it directly. 

I abandoned this project many times over the years for different reasons. Sometimes it was just too painful to spend time in my memories and I’d pull back. I also thought it would be unfair to unload my partially processed trauma on a reader, so I invested time in journaling and unpacking memories in a slow, steady way. At the same time, I was busy raising my family and building my business, so my writing often took a backseat. Then, one day in a writing group, I wrote the opening line describing the crooked hallway in my childhood home and I knew I had a way into this piece. It felt like an epiphany, but the material was actually swirling away in my subconscious for quite a while before floating to the surface. 

WOW: Your story has had an amazing journey! We’re so glad you persisted and chose to share it with us. What did you learn about yourself or your writing by creating this essay? 

Anita: While writing this essay was challenging, I leaned into the things that I’ve learned about taking care of my nervous system. When I write about difficult topics, I make time to rest, walk and do things that keep me centred. It took me awhile to learn self-compassion. 

This essay is part of a collection that I’m in the process of writing about intergenerational trauma and neurodiversity. When my three sons were identified as Autistic, I realized that many of my father’s characteristics and behaviours were those of a dysregulated Autistic person. As an adult looking back, I understood in a visceral way that I was not to blame for the chaos of my childhood. Therapists and self-help books tell us this so often that it feels cliché. It was making the link about the shared neurology between my father and my children that completely shifted my perspective and added depth to my writing. I learned that there was more to the story than just my pain. 

By the time my father passed away in 2021, we had repaired our relationship. I was ready to write these essays because I knew the arc. I wasn’t in the middle of living it anymore. I learned that some things can’t be rushed. 

This stand-alone lyric essay was challenging to put out into the public because it tells only one small part of my complicated relationship with my family. Honestly, whose family isn’t complicated? I think many CNF writers are afraid of their loved one’s reactions to their writing. I was. However, I also had enough distance and healing that I felt I was ready to put my work out into the public domain. I learned that it was safe to express myself. 

WOW: Thank you for sharing this about your learning process. And I believe that many CNF writers can relate to that fear of their loved one’s reactions to their writing. It’s wonderful that you found the right time to put the piece together and share it with the public. I love the fragmented style of your essay. Can you tell us more about your decisions to use this style and any challenges and/or successes you experienced with it? 

Anita: Thank you! I owe a debt of gratitude to Rowan McCandless and Nicole Breit for this essay. I wrote it during a Spark Your Story Intensive that they led, and their feedback was incredibly helpful. The course explored a number of hybrid forms, but lyric and hermit crab essays really captured my heart and imagination. 

I love the brevity of hybrid forms, especially when the subject matter is emotionally challenging. Traumatic memories are often fragments without much context attached. When writing this lyric essay, I was able to capture the key moments without having to write a lot of exposition. Before switching to a lyric form, extra language diluted the experience I was writing about and left me questioning the veracity of the details I added to make a traditional essay readable. Embracing hybrid forms unlocked my writing. 

I think of a lyric essay as a verbal collage. Every phrase is true to my experience. The braiding and lyric form was the perfect way to juxtapose what was happening in my childhood home with what was expected by the church. As a child I didn’t know the words ‘hypocrisy’ or ‘capricious’ but I felt them in my cells. 

WOW: I love your term “verbal collage” to describe this form because it provides such an apt image of what it is and how it works. Which creative nonfiction essays or writers have inspired you most, and in what ways did they inspire you? 

Anita: There are so many amazing CNF writers out there that I admire it’s going to be hard to keep this list concise! 

Chelene Knight taught an Introduction to Poetry Course at University of Toronto, and she was the first person to introduce me to hybrid forms of CNF. Her book, “Dear Current Occupant” is an inspiration. 

Nicole Breit’s award winning essay, “Spectrum” and the incredible curriculum she created for her Spark Your Story course was a game changer for my writing. 

Rowan McCandless’ award winning, “Persephone’s Children – A Life in Fragments” is a beautiful memoir and an endless source of fresh ideas about how to make art while telling a difficult story. I’m deeply grateful for her mentorship. 

Abigail Thomas is another writer that inspires me. I’m continually amazed by her ability to convey both emotional depth and insight with so few words. 

WOW: If you could tell your younger self anything about writing, what would it be? 

Anita: Keep going! Write as often as you can just for the joy of it. Find a community of writers that cheer you on, keep you accountable and help you develop your craft. Sometimes a piece will arrive with ease and other times you will circle it for years before it becomes fully formed – both are just a part of the process of making art. 

WOW: Excellent! Thank you for sharing those pieces of advice. Anything else you’d like to add? 

Anita: Thank you to Women on Writing for these contests that support female writers. I have really benefitted from the critiques I’ve received from the panel in the past and I’m delighted to have made it to second place. 

WOW: Thank you for sharing your writing with us and for your thoughtful responses. Happy writing! 

Interviewed by Anne Greenawalt, founder and editor-in-chief of Sport Stories Press, which publishes sports books by, for, and about sportswomen and amateur athletes. Engage on Twitter or Instagram @GreenMachine459.