Friday Speak Out!: Writing from the Heart

by Lynn Brown Rosenberg

I had never written from the heart before. I tried, for years, but just couldn’t do it. I was afraid of revealing myself, of being judged (negatively). I wrote short stories, treatments, screenplays, but there was still something missing from my work. I knew it, but could not get past wanting to do anything but being seen.

I had always toyed with the idea of writing an autobiography or memoir. I had had difficult parents and an extremely challenging upbringing along with much sadness. But every time I thought about it, the same old fears cropped up (especially when my parents were still alive), and I thought who would want to read about it, anyway.

And then I came to a crisis in my life.

One day I realized I had not had sex in over a decade. I had been widowed for fifteen years and had been chaste that entire time. I decided I wanted to change my life.

I went to my therapist and asked him for a change of medication. I had been on a known sexual inhibitor. He said he didn’t know if it would make a difference, but, sure, we could try. So we did, and lo and behold, I came alive! I wanted to look into this further.

So I took myself to an adult store, aptly named the Pleasure Chest, to purchase a few items. I was nervous! I had never been to a sex store before, let alone used anything found in there. But it wasn’t even so much buying products I had never bought before that was causing the anxiety, but the very action I was taking by going there was in complete defiance of what I’d been taught and the thoughts that occupied my mind for so long.

While my parents were contemporary, outgoing (they entertained a lot), successful business people, when it came to me they were critical, judgmental, intimidating, and had some strange beliefs about life, love, and especially sex.

I had no idea I was going to go on a journey at the time. I just sought to enjoy aspects of myself that had been dampened down, repressed. I began taking steps toward sexual freedom…at the age of 70!

In the midst of this journey, while having such an extraordinary good time, and feeling freer by the day, I realized that I couldn’t be the only woman who had had a similar experience to mine (either having a poor sex education, no sex education, or having been misinformed, or possibly abused) and while I was reluctant to write it down at first, I soon felt compelled to continue because I thought my story could be helpful to others.

And I began writing! Not only about my sexual journey, but about my past, my life at home i.e. forbidden territory. The floodgates opened, and now not only could I write from the heart, but I could find freedom for the first time in my life, both sexually and emotionally.

I have found that my story resonates with others and all because I opened my mind up to try different thoughts on, different actions, and gave myself permission to enjoy them!

And that’s how I came to write from the heart.

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In addition to writing screenplays, Lynn Brown Rosenberg wrote a short film titled Solo and was honored with a Golden Eagle award.
An excerpt from her memoir, My Sexual Awakening at 70 was published on Salon.com, she was interviewed by HuffPost LIVE, and The Sunday Times of London commissioned her to write an essay on it.
Lynn has given many speeches about her memoir, including the Sexual Health Expo in Los Angeles early in the 2015 and again for the Expo in Scottsdale, AZ in April.
For more information, please visit: http://lynnbrownrosenberg.com.
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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
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