|How would you show this? Tell us! :)|
For example: Amy's face showed her enthusiasm.
What does that mean exactly? I'm guessing Amy is smiling--probably a big smile that includes her entire face with her eyes opened wide even. So, why don't we just say that?
Saying that a face shows enthusiasm is not showing, it's telling. If I was critiquing your story, I would probably write in a comment in the sidebar: "And this looks like???" I would rather you write a sentence like:
Amy grinned and opened her eyes wide.
Now, I can see Amy showing her enthusiasm.
Here are some more examples of this point that I've seen lately. How would you fix these? (Really, I would love to read your ideas in the comments)
- Andre looked tired.
- You could see the tension in her body.
- Monique was always ready for an adventure.
photo credit: Emerald Lake Joe Kopp ( http://www.joekoppart.com/seascapes-and-water-scenes.html)
So, how do you handle showing vs telling in your work? Can you fix my three sentences above?