Friday Speak Out!: Thoughts on Never Making It, Guest Post by Alissa Johnson

I recently opened my email to find a request from the president of a well-established publishing website to set up an interview for a new column on women and writing—specifically, about “women that have made it in the field.” I was sitting at my desk at the local weekly where I have been an associate editor for the past two plus years, and I thought there’d been a mistake.

My website must be really good, I thought. They think I’ve made it.

I agreed to the next step of the process, wondering when they would figure out they’d picked the wrong gal. After all, I haven’t published a book, and I just resigned from my job to launch my own business as a writing coach and consultant. There is so much transition in my life that “making it” feelsvery much like a question underscored by uncertainty (and a little stubbornness, too).

When I biked home that afternoon, the sun was shining and warm, and the tires of my bike kicked up late winter slush. I kicked around ideas, trying to figure out when I would feel like I’d made it.

When I considered my track record from the outside, I could see accomplishments: I’m a newspaper editor (for a couple more weeks, anyway), my writing has won awards, and I’ve been published in the Wall Street Journal. I teach online classes, and they’ve been successful that I’ve launched a whole new website to house them.

And yet I spend more time thinking about the things I haven’t done than thinking about accomplishments: the memoir I haven’t published, the novel I haven’t written, and the still-in-progress essay I want to finish about camping out for a whole summer.

Would I like to get to the point where I can receive a request for an interview without looking over my shoulder for the real writer they meant to contact? Sure. But I realized something as I rode home: I can’t tell you when I’ll have “made it” because that implies a final destination. My goals are always changing.

Three years ago, I wanted to find a job as a writer. Now, I want to launch my business and help other writers achieve their goals. In a year or two, I hope to publish my memoir and finish that novel. I don’t want to work toward a final destination in writing because I don’t want to reach an end.

I think the secret to making it is to not think about making it. To return to the computer or put the pen to the page again and again, just to see what happens next. To let one idea or one piece of writing lead to the next until—from the outside—it looks like success. When really, we’re just driven by a sense exploration and a love for written stories.

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Alissa Johnson writes and teaches from 9,000 feet above sea level in Crested Butte, CO. When she’s not writing or coaching, you can find her outside at any time of year, skiing, biking, or climbing. www.writingstrides.com.

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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
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