For months now I have been trying to finish a short story, actually, I haven’t even started—I have a basic outline. You wouldn’t believe the disturbances that have come between me and that project…from writer’s block to sick parents to a swarm of bees; it would be laughable if it wasn’t so frustrating. For awhile I toyed with the idea that there was a menacing writing-demon wreaking havoc with my project; I finally had to admit to myself that it all came down to self-sabotage by my internal belief system…my false beliefs.
These false beliefs often show themselves through our self-talk, which is good because then we can recognize the self-judgment and work with it. But sometimes, as in this case, they sneakily manifest through obstacles or disturbances seemingly out of our control. Other times they hide; we convince ourselves that we are making progress because we are busy doing writerly things, yet we never quite get to that one project…that next goal.
These deep seated beliefs are what back up our self-judgments. They are irrational, emotional and usually fear based. Some examples are:
My family will no longer accept me if I am not like them (fear of abandonment).
Pursuing my own dream is selfish (fear of rejection).
Because they are so deeply held finding these core beliefs requires patience and determination. It takes courage to challenge the unspoken rules and the limits you have previously accepted. It takes a desire and a willingness to break out of that old skin, even if the process is uncomfortable. But once you bring that false belief out of the subconscious and into the conscious mind you can change it, graduate from it, and grow beyond those previously set limits into the life that is waiting for you—the life you deserve—and the person you are meant to be.