Happy Friday! Enjoy these gems from Steven Wright, a favorite comedian,
actor and writer.
"Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back."
"Half the people you know are below average."
"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot."
"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good."
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking."
"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
"I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the zebra did it."