Showing posts with label family relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family relationships. Show all posts

Friday Speak Out!: Writing With Family - All of Them, Guest Post by C. Hope Clark

Friday, February 07, 2014
Blogs and forums abound with discussions from mommy writers about how to address the urchins that run around interfering with our journeys toward bestseller-dom. Of course we love the brats. No questioning that at all. Like kittens, they’re cute and can’t help themselves. We write around them, knowing one day they’ll grow up and allow us more time to create.

But what do you do when they are in their twenties and still in the way? And what about parents? Sisters, uncles and cousins? Once you publish a book or two, invariably your predecessors, successors, as well as those on the odd bent branches of the family tree, get in your way. And they are not as forgivable as kittens.

When I released Lowcountry Bribe, the first in my Carolina Slade Mystery Series, family and friends devoured the book, pointing out which character was which relation, enjoying the inside joke they thought they knew. (Except for my mother, who ordered me never to write about her.) My son asked why I made him a girl. The assumption was I had to be the protagonist and my husband the romantic interest. They pointed out “errors” in the story, telling me my children were never kidnapped, so why put that in the book? I developed a list of one-liners in response to these reactions, the main one being, “It’s fiction, people. That means pretend.” They’d roll their eyes as if they knew better.

When Tidewater Murder came out a year later, they quizzically scratched their heads. “Who is this?” they’d ask. “When did this happen?” Only one new character went into that book with a slight resemblance to a dear friend, a friend who’d challenged me to include him. The story was the purest fiction I’d ever written. “What?” they asked. “What fun is that?” “You sure this isn’t (FILL IN BLANK) from Mississippi?”

The public, and therefore our relatives, think every tale of fiction is rooted in reality, and some instances probably are. We use our experiences as catalysts. But we avoid the use of clones, resumes, and biographies taken from our family tree for obvious reasons . . . hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and the potential for misrepresentation. But what is it about family fearing they are, yet wanting to be, subjects in a book?

Maybe it’s that desire for the proverbial 15-minutes of fame. Maybe it’s a way of feeling honored by being blood-kin to a famous author (tongue-in-cheek there). Maybe they can’t let loose of reality to spin fable, and don’t understand those who do.

Palmetto Poison is Slade’s third story, and this time she is full-bore investigating the most complex case of her life. Enter her boyfriend, his ex-wife (also an agent), his sister, Slade’s sister, kids, and a complete family feuding cornucopia of families she investigates for murder, drugs, and political favors.

My family won’t know what hit them.

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C. Hope Clark is editor of FundsforWriters.com, reaching 45,000 readers each Friday with her online newsletters. The website has been chosen by Writer's Digest for its 101 Best Websites for Writers for the past 13 years. But Hope's personal bucket list included publishing mystery fiction. She's the author of The Carolina Slade Mystery Series, with the third, Palmetto Poison, just released through Bell Bridge Books. Available wherever books are sold. www.chopeclark.com / www.fundsforwriters.com
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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!

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Friday Speak Out!: It’s a Secret!, Guest Post by Sandy Young

Friday, January 20, 2012
It’s a Secret!

by Sandy Young

Fifty is a big number for lots of things: money found on a messy desk, the number of miles to drive to go shopping, the number of grandchildren some people in New Mexico have, the number of M&Ms I can consume at one sitting, and the number of years some folks have been married to the same person. That last one refers to my sweetheart and me!

In April, before our fiftieth anniversary (December 17), I decided to write a gift for Frank, my hero. It had to be a surprise, and I knew keeping it a secret would be difficult, to say the least. Frank thinks that every time I’m writing on my computer I’m either communicating with friends on Facebook or writing e-mails. Little did he know, as I sat about three feet away from him while we were watching TV, that I was writing a book called Married to My Hero, right under his nose! In all of those eight months, he never asked what I was doing. Not once!

Several friends edited for me, including Melanie Faith, my teacher for the WOW! course Translating a Life, to whom I submitted one chapter as the essay of the week. All authors need editors, and I had wonderful ones.

Since we have lived in only four cities/towns in fifty years, I organized the book by place: Clinton, MS; Pascagoula, MS; Pensacola, FL; and Cerrillos, NM. The book would be a history of our lives together, beginning with when we met and ending with where we live in our retirement years.

Sometime in August, I gave myself permission, though, to write only about Clinton and Pascagoula. Too much has happened in our lives for me to be able to finish and publish by December 17. I was determined to give it to him at the grand party that our daughter had planned for us. I finished my manuscript early in November, and Wendy, our daughter, finished uploading it to Blurb and inserting lots of photos and other memorabilia that we had saved through half a century by the first week in December. The book arrived on December 14 . . . ah, three days before the big event, quite an accomplishment for all of us Youngs, who are notorious for last-minute finishings.

I had my doubts as to Frank’s being surprised; however, when I presented it to him, I knew that he hadn’t a clue. He loves his gift and is reading it each night before he turns out the light. I’ll write about Pensacola and Cerrillos in 2012 and will have the luxury of asking Frank to help me remember details. Several times, I almost slipped and asked him to help me remember things while I was writing this year. That would have been disaster for my secret.

We’ve begun our next fifty years (HaHa!), and Frank is still my hero. Always has been, always will be.

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Sandy Young is a retired English teacher (32 years in the classroom), whose passion is writing. She blogs at Forever Young (www.foreveryoung279.blogspot.com). Sandy and Frank, her husband of 50 years, live in Cerrillos, New Mexico.
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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!

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Review of Shadow Tag by Louise Erdrich

Friday, March 26, 2010
Reviewed by Cher'ley Grogg

Shadow Tag, written in narrative form allows the author, Louise Erdrich, to move seamlessly between characters. The novel revolves around a single family. The father Gil America, his wife Irene and their three children; 14 year old son Forian, 11 year old daughter, Riel and 6 year old son Stoney. The family is American Indian and their heritage plays a vital role in the story.

Gil is an artist who has become famous by painting a series called "Irene America". Irene and Gil met when as a young maiden she started modeling for him--they fell in love and married. His personal intimate relationship with his wife allowed him the freedom to paint her from virginal girl to sensual woman. Gil painted her in every pose imaginable, pregnant, on all fours, with the impression rape, dismemberment, death by smallpox, and in ways that only he knows what they represent.

Irene hangs on to the elusion of becoming an art historian and has an office in their basement to do work on her studies. In a bottom drawer, covered with ribbons and wrapping paper, in the very back of a file cabinet is her Red Diary. She begins to suspect that her husband is reading her diary. Once she confirms this, she uses it to manipulate him. She still has the need to write out her feelings so she buys a safe-deposit box where she keeps her true diary, the Blue Notebook.

Gil has invaded her privacy and everyday she grows more resentful; everyday she drinks more wine. The marriage goes from rocky to turbulent.
The two older children affected by their parents' stormy relationship cross boundaries that kids their age should not be crossing. The youngest, a budding artist draws many pictures of his family. His mother asks him about the "stick with a little half-moon" that he always paints at the end of her hand. With the simplicity of a first grader he answers, "the wineglass".

A few happy times appear in the novel and one evening, during one of those times Gil and Irene ran outside with their three children to play a Native American game called shadow tag. If you step on a person's shadow, you capture them. Irene felt Gil had captured her and that she had no way out.

Shadow Tag starts out as a slow read; the scenes feel stretched out a little too far. The explicit scenes and language do little to increase the pace. As the book progresses there is redemption because interest grows for the characters.

This book explores human relationships and the intricacies of a broken family. It feels as if the author has had first hand experiences with these issues.
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Caution, friends, I want your opinion!

Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Some days I don't know what comes over me. Basically, a friend threw down the challenge for me to enter a writing contest. Convinced to do so, I became so happy to oblige that I managed to write two entries.
Since I don't have a writing group I belong to (because of time constraints), I decided to send out a draft of the essays to friends and family--I wanted to know which essay worked better, based on the contest guidelines.
That's it.
Like most writers, I appreciate constructive criticism when a reader stays on topic. However, I wasn't interested in line edits, digs at a friend's own spouse, my "poor" selections of reading material or contests, my faulty memory or negative comments about my choice of friends and their challenges.
I think the responses shed many lights on the joys of writing: the subjectivity of one's readers and the inevitability of leaving one open to criticism, no matter the subject.
But when I run into someone who has read my blogs or one of my newspaper articles, I hear how wonderful the piece is...and then, why won't the newspaper do a better delivery job in their neighborhood. Interestingly, I never hear the negatives and just glowing accolades (which seem slightly unrealistic, but who am I to fight that battle?).
But, ask someone by e-mail and you learn a lot more about your friends and family than about your writing or the topic of your essay. It was certainly an eye-opening experience, probably one I'll hesitate before trying again, especially since voting is running neck-and-neck between the essays. It will be tough to decide which essay to submit. I'll have to rely on my own faulty subjectivity. Yikes.
So, next time a friend convinces me to enter a contest and I decide to send out the essay, I'll just leave my more vocal family members off the e-mail list. They can just read about it on my blog...and comment, nicely, in person.

Elizabeth King Humphrey is a writer and creativity coach, who wishes she could use her delete button a lot more than she does. Besides contributing to AOL's ParentDish, she blogs at The Write Elizabeth, delving into creativity in everyday places.
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Participate in Family Relationships Mass-Blogging Day Oct. 13

Thursday, October 01, 2009
Be a Blogging Buddy - Write about Family Relationships

When: October 13, 2009 (Tuesday)

Where: On your blog

Why: Therese Walsh's debut novel, The Last Will of Moira Leahy, is about a mysterious journey that helps a woman learn more about herself and her twin, whom she lost they were teenagers. The Muffin is organizing a mass blogging, "Everybody's Talking About...Family Relationships," to celebrate the book release on October 13. Therese will be at The Muffin (here) blogging about family relationships and she'd like some buddies writing on their blogs about family relationships that same day.

What to blog about: The theme is "Family Relationships." You can write about anything from tracing your family history to the family feud between your mom and Aunt Martha to planning activities that bring your children closer together. Use your imagination and have fun!

What to include in your blog post: If you'd like to participate, please email us and we'll link to your blog on The Muffin. Make sure you include the following blurb about the blogging day at the top or bottom of your post:

"Today I'm participating in a mass blogging! WOW! Women on Writing has gathered a group of blogging buddies to write about family relationships. Why family relationships? We're celebrating the release of Therese Walsh's debut novel today. The Last Will of Moira Leahy (Random House, October 13, 2009) is about a mysterious journey that helps a woman learn more about herself and her twin, whom she lost they were teenagers. Visit the Muffin www.wow-womenonwriting.com/blog.html to read what Therese has to say about family relationships and view the list of all my blogging buddies. And make sure you visit www.theresewalsh.com to find out more about the author."

How to participate: Contact Jodi at blogtour@wow-womenonwriting.com if you'd like to participate and we'll include you and your blog on the list of Therese's Blogging Buddies running on the Muffin on Oct. 13. It's a fun way to introduce your blog to The Muffin community while helping a fellow writer.

If you have any blogger friends who may be interested in participating, please feel free to forward this post to them.

Goodies: Besides link-love, we have several goodies to give away (gift certificates, t-shirts, books, subscriptions). We will hold random drawings for all bloggers who participate. :)

Come blog with us!
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