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Friday, October 12, 2012

 

Friday Speak Out!: The Imbalance and Balance of the Creative, guest post by Brenda Moguez


The Imbalance and Balance of the Creative

by Brenda Moguez

The writer in me tends to live in a constant state of overwhelm. I cave at the sight of a dangling participle and my never-ending list of ideas that auto-magically appears in my head. The woman in me can leap tall buildings, juggle chainsaws, and flirt with a lanky man fluttering his come-hither lashes in my direction, without breaking a sweat. I am one person, but there are differences between my superwoman-mother-everyday gal self, and the ethereal-writer-nymph.

The writer in me struggles to restrict the thoughts that twinkle like red and green Christmas lights on the tree. Why are there more ideas than time, more to do than possible, and more questions than answers, or a guideline to refer to? There is always a spark of something flickering on the edges of my subconscious, blurred, and elusive, as if I am trapped in the perpetual aftermath of déjà vu. I manage to keep the two selves in check, alternating between checklists:

Superwoman-Mother-Everyday-Gal-Self

· Balance checkbook

· Make dentist appointments for kids

· Buy trainers

· Writer letter of recommendation

· Plan birthday dinner

· Grocery list: Chicken, lettuce, wine

Ethereal-Writer-Nymph

· IDEA: I wear you brightly within, but you're hardly noticeable from the exterior. I hold it in check, always. It’s a feeling, this sense of you that I wear around and within. It's not physical or measurable but its strength is not questionable.

· Is there a poem here: Seeing you across the room the first time /Left no marks upon my heart, this mind tingled/Delighted in your brilliance, wishing you would/Notice me standing on your left even the right,

· Submit stories

· Self –market and promote

· Read, read, READ. READ

Occasionally, a glass of wine is required before negotiation between the two can commence. I feel as Alice did when she chased the rabbit down the hole, free falling and reaching for something just out of reach. Of course, Alice hits the bottom and follows her path until she reaches the end, whereas I often fall prey to the alluring glow of my thoughts and the list of possibilities.

How to stay focused and not give way to my own flights of fancy or the twinkling lights, is the challenge the writer in me faces daily. Thus is my plight, my two halves—the superwoman and the nymph—battle to balance the conflicts of the creative and practical self.

In reality, when I am not giving way to my theatrical self—there are too many sides of a woman to count—I manage. It wasn’t until I took myself, the entire me, at face value, and accepted my limitations, that I took control of the helm. Some days I soar with the eagles and there are the odd days when I crash and burn, like a kite. Most of the time I am in awe of what I manage to get through, but there are days when I struggle with first line of a story.

How do you manage the many selves of your whole?
 
* * *

 Brenda Moguez, a writer embracing her inner Xena, Princess Warrior, as she tackles the list of possibilities. She favors writing a story over vacuuming the dust bunny commune growing with reckless abandonment under her bed, where she sits nightly finishing her second novel. The first novel is currently joy riding the agent query coaster. You can find her at http://www.brendamoguez.com/, where she explores passionate pursuits in all its forms.

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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!

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7 Comments:

Blogger Sioux said...

Brenda--I think great groups of friends and great critique groups help create that balance. If those two groups can morph into one group, the results are spectacular.

If people can laugh and confess and fret and write with each other, when one gets unbalanced or off track, all one has to do is go back to what their friends have taught them--What Would My Critique Group Do?--and one can get back onto the path.

Thanks for the post, Brenda.

4:16 AM  
Blogger brenda said...

Sioux, I think you are probably right, but I haven't found that group you refer to - yet. I've made some wonder virtual connections, but nothing locally. Thanks much for sharing.

9:05 AM  
Blogger Margo Dill said...

Sometimes I don't think I handle them very well. :) But the good thing is the writer self usually takes over and the housework, etc is the one I don't do! :) LOL

6:02 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:27 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I agree with Margo. I don't handle them very well. Housework...ew! LOL!

8:28 PM  
Blogger brenda said...

I'm guessing it's OK not to be super Xena all the time. If I have a choice of scrubbing the grout in the shower with my tooth brush of penning a story, the writing wins hands down every time. deInst 636

8:34 AM  
Blogger Angela said...

What a beautifully written post! :)

I'm a horrible multi-tasker. To get a project done, I have to put my entire focus on it, finish it, and move on to the next. For instance, today I'm commenting on the past week's blog posts all at once! Then I will move on to formatting a newsletter, taking my motorcycle to the shop because of an oil leak, late lunch w/ hubby for helping me take my bike to the shop, a quick trip to the beauty supply store and Target, then back to the computer for writing and artwork for the next e-zine issue. Then dinner, dishes, a late night walk, e-mails, and reading from the enormous pile of books I need to review. Phew!

Personally, my work comes first, and then I schedule the other things (like errands, cleaning, making dinner, exercising, etc.) as a "break." Maybe your housework and errands comes first as your work, and your writing is your break. It can work both ways. As corny as it sounds, when I look at it that way, it's a pleasure to stop my work and take a break, and a joy to return. :)

12:32 PM  

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